Atomictumor

Today I was clued into a way to make money. 

My buddy at work here told me that starting last Wednesday, he has been selling Ebay wholesale lists.  By doing this, he has made about 200 bucks, and has been told by shadowy ebay figures that once he "figures out how to do it" he’ll be able to make enough money to quit his job.   Now, 200 is a lot of bucks, and I’m always up for a little cash, so I looked into it.  Check this out…

Do a search for "lists plasma TV" on ebay.  Take a look at some of this stuff.  Like this one, for instance.  If its closed down by the time you find this link, thats cool, I’m sure there’ll be others. 

This is pure douchebaggery.  Douchbaggery at its highest form.  These bastards are going to email you a list of wholesalers that they got from somebody else off Ebay, most likely without even checking them, or even reading the email, for this much money.  Thats it.  They send you an email with addresses, phone numbers, and websites.  See you later bye. 

In the example above too, take a look at the bid history.  It doesn’t take much imagination to see that the majority of those bids, that have zero feedback, are invented to inflate the bid price.   

Now, I’m not one to say that stupid people don’t deserve whats coming, and anybody in this day and age who doesn’t read the label is bound to end up screwing themselves over, both on ebay and in the dryer.  But man, I’d just be afraid of some sort of karmic retribution for doing this. 

Then again… I am broke… 

Problem is, after a particular Gamecube incident a year or two ago, GAC has full on banned me from going to Ebay… 

…they end up betting the farm on Hillary Clinton in ‘08.

Not that I think she’d make a bad president, but *DAMNATION* its time to end dynasties in the White House. Are there no other families that can produce leaders?

This is a perfect example of how the Democrats have lost that progressive momentum of the 90s. Instead of trying to go forward with good candidates and a message that won’t frighten the timid oakies and weird-o’s that seem to make up some invisible majority of this backward country’s voting population, they’re content with either being reactionary by hiring high blood pressure angry rednecks to steer the party, or just digging up zombies from the blandest, lamest corner of hell to run as presidential candidates.

Its like they want to lose. That they’re some kind of marathon running masochist, knowing they’re too feeble and old to actually win the race, but they still run themselves until blood foams from their pores and they have to fall over and pass out from pure exhaustion, but they keep running every time. No, thats a lousy analogy.

Its almost like they’re there to provide a facade of choice. To let everybody know “Hey, its OK. Sure, you’re powerless to change the course of the country as it gets led by people who are increasingly proven to be vicious, corrupt, greedy, and dangerous, but you’re the one with the ballot”. Even if it does get run through computerized ballots, with no public oversight, from private companies with admitted political bents.

Another conversation with Pigpen, who has the cold/allergies evil I had last week:

Pigpen: cough cough.

Me: You know, if you took some medicine it’d make you feel better.

Pigpen (visably alarmed): I’m NOT going to take some medicine.  Cough Cough.

Me (recalling the massive battle to try to get a tablespoon of cold medicine in the boy, succeeding in getting a half tablespoon on my arm, his shirt, and the floor, and mitigating the cough by reducing the boy to a sobbing, screaming, gibbering mess due to the attempt): I’m not going to try to give it to you again.  But, Pigpen, it’d make your cough better.  I can get you some grape medicine.

Pigpen: Thats what I’m not going to do. Cough cough.

Me: OK.  (Walk over to the computer to start writing this)

Pigpen: No Pigpen, you don’t need any medicine.   I’m not going to have some medicine.

Now everytime I look at him, he looks back and says "I’m not going to have any medicine". 

Just sneak an iPod into their backpacks and send ‘em to Anderson County schools:

“Students who violate the rule for carrying the ‘personal devices,’ such as iPods, face consequences ranging from verbal reprimands and confiscation of the device to corporal punishment and expulsion, depending upon such factors as whether it’s their first or third offense.” (The Oak Ridger: April 14, 2006)

Ah, the heydays of that income tax refund were short and sweet.  Welcome back to broke living. 

Unfortunately, broke living and toothaches don’t go well together.  GAC, through no fault of her own, has lousy assed teeth, and we have an ACTION PLAN to get those bastards whipped into shape.  However, even with my pretty good dental insurance, this action plan involves about 1800 bucks, of which we may have paid 500 or so. 

So, thought I, where can I fellow find some money… and that day my meager 401k earnings statement came in.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  "AT, you dumbass, a 401k is designed to save up for the days when then wine and honey have run out, and you’re old and decrepid and all the work has been squeezed out of your still living bones.  If you cash it out now, you’re screwing yourself over!"

And you’d be right.  But my retirement plans hinge on mooching off MastaG, so its OK.   Check it out, here’s the breakdown of my retirement.  Keep in mind, also, that this works in tandem with my 5 year plan.

As you can clearly see, I will be mooching off MastaG for a large part of my income.  I also plan on milking the last milky dregs of social security, and the Other category includes things like selling drugs, scamming other senior citizens, and graverobbery. 

I also know that its going to cost about 30% of the money, because evidently bottom middle classness isn’t considered a ‘hardship’.  Go figure.   Still tho, it’d wind up being about 1300 bucks that GAC’s teeth could totally use.

However, I’m being hampered, because this 401K is still with the company I used to work for, and its a very low priority for them to meet me to do the paperwork.   Thats the real rub here, and whats completely pissing me off about it.  Hell, its bad enough I have to meet with those people in that evil place, but to go there for a meeting and then find out nobodys there to meet me, well, thats just wrong.  

Those are totally the people I’m going to be scamming when they’re old and senile…