Atomictumor

Long ago, in galaxy far, far away called France there lived people who thought very highly of themselves. They met in salons where they had their hair done and talked. These puff heads eventually came up with great compendiums of knowledge called encylopedias. They thought they could put all of knowledge in these books.
So in the spirit of hair dressers of yore I give you,

Bosphorus’s Handy List of Things Not to Ignore.

1) Growth on the positive post of your car’s battery. It sometimes resembles a blue beard. Consequence: left stranded at work after hours and a morning spent wondering what could be wrong with stupid vehicle.
Solution: Clean the post imediately! Mix a heaping spoonful of baking soda into two cups of water and pour directly onto post. Don’t be surprised by the resulting chemical reaction. Please try this at your own risk, etc…

2) Don’t ignore termites flying around your house. These indicate the presence of pesky social bugs.
Consequence: Your house could fall down around you.
Solution: Call exterminator (see entry #154).

I hope you find this somewhat enlightening and that you will contribute to this worthy and advantageous enterprise.

Take five minutes out of your day and read this.

For every good Asian movie, there are 5,134 bad ones. Here are a few of the sucktastic ones I’ve seen.

Pulse: (sorry Joe) Asian horror movies are a dime a dozen, but this one was on the clearance rack. It made little sense. Normally, that’s not a problem as Asian horror is often hard to follow. This one made less sense than most. It had something to do with ghosts and forbidden doors that people put red tape around. If you went into the forbidden room, you’d die. Unless you were that one chick who managed to get out somehow.

St. John’s Wort: This movie was made to look like a video game, or is a video game, or was based on a game, or a game was based on it’s plot. Pick one, it doesn’t matter. It involved some kids wandering around an old house and then some stuff seemed like it was going to happen, but it didn’t. I made it all the way to the end of this one only because I thought there’s no way a movie can have absolutely no merit. I was wrong.

Infection: The best part of this movie was the color of the funky phone about 15 minutes into the movie. But what’s it about, you ask? Infection. Duh.

A Tale of Two Sisters: Again, the first hour or so, you watch it, waiting, knowing that something has to happen eventually. Right? No, sorry. Something about abuse, and an armoire. Pretty scenery but eminently forgettable and skippable.

Tomie: HOLY SHIT IT’S A HEAD IN A BAG! Other than that, I don’t remember anything about it.

It’s another.  So far this year, my kids have had severe lice infestations, poison ivy so bad they had to be on steroids twice, and now this.
Pinworms.
We’re really not gross, disgusting people, honest.  Just damn unlucky, I think.
I’m not going to go into the gory details.  If you don’t know what a pinworm is, just google it.  But for the love of all that is good and holy, please don’t look at google images.  I don’t have enough brain bleach for all of you.
The good news is that I didn’t have to take the kids (or samples) to the doctor.  They just took my word for it and called in prescriptions, which consisted of one chewable pill today, and another in 10 days.   For the next month or so, I’ll be constantly washing dishes and clothes, scrubbing surfaces and hands.  So if you want to come over, we’ll all be squeaky clean.
Or maybe you wouldn’t want to come over, seeing as it’s highly contagious.
Apparently adults aren’t as susceptible to pinworms, but there’s always that possibility.  What a better way to introduce myself to my new doctor?  I know that the human body carries hundreds of parasites normally, and that many of them are necessary to aid digestion, yadda yadda yadda, but I really don’t like to think about squirmy little bugglies in my intestines.

Man, even the right leaning Supreme Court is crying foul on the .gov’s military trial stuff for them terrists. Makes me happy, because seems like one branch is getting a little too big for its britches.