June 7th, 2006 by GoldenAppleCorp
It’s been three and a half years since my sister has spoken to our family.
There were no blow-outs, screaming fights or brouhahas. Of course, that has never been how my family settles disputes. I come from a long line of bottlers and grudge-holders. Just ask AT. I can hold a mean grudge.
None of us are sure why my sister has decided to be on the outs with us. It could be any number of things, such as but not limited to: I can have kids and she can’t, my parents don’t like her newest boyfriend, she’s gone completely mental, she’s a big immature 42 year old, we’ve all done something completely unforgivable of which we are not aware, or she’s joined a cult that has brainwashed her into avoiding family.
There’s a short list of topics of which she last spoke of with myself or my parents, including but not limited to: The Trailer, The Infertility, and The Current Boyfriend.
The Trailer
After divorce numero dos, my sister needed a place to stay and struck a deal with my parents to have a trailer put on a corner of their property. All went well for a while, then she met Current Boyfriend and moved to Blount County with him, leaving the trailer maintenance and payments to my dad. He sold the trailer at a loss and she was pissed to find out that instead of making money off the deal, she ended up owing my dad.
The Infertility
Due to scar tissue from a burst appendix and recurring bouts of endometriosis, my sister was rendered virtually incabable of conceiving. She ended up driving away husband #2 by obsessively seeking fertility treatments. When she found out I was pregnant at 19, she asked if she could have my baby. She’s seen my youngest boy only 4 or 5 times, finally telling me that she just couldn’t handle being around him. She hasn’t seen him (or me) since he was 6 months old.
The Current Boyfriend
The C.B. came equipped with a built-in family for her. Suddenly, she was sewing costumes, attending soft ball practice and giving dating advice.  Unfortunately, the C.B. was a control freak. My parents didn’t like him because of that and he wasn’t very welcomed in their house, so she stopped coming too.
Apparently C.B.’s out of the picture now. My sister called our parents a couple of weeks ago and they went to visit her. She’s living in a rat-infested house (literally) and working at a gas-station deli for minimum wage. She has several health problems, as well as extensive dental issues and no health or dental insurance. In other words, now she needs money.
My parents will forgive her for screening their phone calls, not checking in on them even when they left messages about potentially life-threatening health scares, and will loan her money even though she still owes them thousands. And if I refuse to pretend like nothing happened, I’ll be the black sheep.
Baa.
June 7th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
I like how you’re the sibling that doesn’t screw up, yet can still become the black sheep. I miss my black sheep status in my family.
June 8th, 2006 at 11:19 am
Hang in there, GAC. After all, you’ve got your kids, you’ve got your teeth, and it appears that you have your life in order (at least to the extent that most of us do). I know it’s incredibly frustrating when you’re made out to be the “bad guy” for taking responsibility and doing what you’re supposed to do… but it will pass.
Every family has issues of one sort or another, and there’s really nothing you can do to fix this problem short of finding a way not to stress about it. Best of luck to you and remember: black sheep don’t show dirt.
June 9th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Don’t worry, AT. You are and always will be our black sheep.
June 9th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Woot!