Comments on: Lazy good-for-nothing http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/ Sat, 19 Jul 2008 15:27:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.2 By: Joel http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-415 Joel Fri, 23 Jun 2006 17:25:18 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-415 "My parents are suckers." Well, more importantly, they're enablers. I don't think you ever "give up" on your kids. I do think there is a point at which you expect them to stand on their own two feet. For my daughter, it will be when she finishes college. “My parents are suckers.”

Well, more importantly, they’re enablers.

I don’t think you ever “give up” on your kids. I do think there is a point at which you expect them to stand on their own two feet. For my daughter, it will be when she finishes college.

]]> By: GoldenAppleCorp http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-418 GoldenAppleCorp Fri, 23 Jun 2006 18:03:05 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-418 Yeah, they're absolutely enablers. They enable AT and I, too, but we don't take advantage of them the way my bro and sis do. So, if your daughter falls on hard times after college, it's "Sorry, hon, but daddy has rules"? Does it depend on the type of hard times? Poor job market vs. laziness? Yeah, they’re absolutely enablers. They enable AT and I, too, but we don’t take advantage of them the way my bro and sis do.
So, if your daughter falls on hard times after college, it’s “Sorry, hon, but daddy has rules”? Does it depend on the type of hard times? Poor job market vs. laziness?

]]> By: Joel http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-423 Joel Fri, 23 Jun 2006 18:56:09 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-423 If she had some kind of job and was living at home, she'd pay some amount of rent. If she wants to live with a boyfriend, that's fine, but if both of them live in my house and eat my food, both pay. I wouldn't pay for her cell phone. As it is, she doesn't have her own car and I have no intention of buying her one (nobody bought me a car, and I turned out OK). If it was very temporary, I would shelter and feed her if she lost her job. Long-term, I believe healthy, able-bodied adults should support themselves. No exceptions. If she had some kind of job and was living at home, she’d pay some amount of rent. If she wants to live with a boyfriend, that’s fine, but if both of them live in my house and eat my food, both pay.

I wouldn’t pay for her cell phone. As it is, she doesn’t have her own car and I have no intention of buying her one (nobody bought me a car, and I turned out OK).

If it was very temporary, I would shelter and feed her if she lost her job. Long-term, I believe healthy, able-bodied adults should support themselves. No exceptions.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-424 Atomictumor Fri, 23 Jun 2006 20:26:21 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-424 Right on man. I'd also make their stay at my house increasingly uncomfortable. Right on man. I’d also make their stay at my house increasingly uncomfortable.

]]> By: mojofilter http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-425 mojofilter Fri, 23 Jun 2006 20:41:57 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-425 i bet nudist parents don't have this problem i bet nudist parents don’t have this problem

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-426 Atomictumor Fri, 23 Jun 2006 20:48:17 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-426 Yeah, they probably have a whole set of other problems. Yeah, they probably have a whole set of other problems.

]]> By: GoldenAppleCorp http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-433 GoldenAppleCorp Fri, 23 Jun 2006 21:23:31 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-433 One word for nudist parents: vinyl. Seriously. Talc would also be a good word, especially on days when it's 90+ degrees. But yeah, Joel, I think my style of parenting (for adult kids, at least) closely matches yours. My parents had me so late compared to my sibs (I'm 12 years younger than my next-oldest) that their parenting style changed with me. Spankings galore for them, time-outs for me. Although I was such a goody-goodie that I very rarely got in trouble. I think I was treated more like a grandchild to a large extent. Also, my parents were relatively poor when raising my sibs, so I was spoiled in comparison. Bro and sis still hold that against me, even though it wasn't my fault. One word for nudist parents: vinyl. Seriously.
Talc would also be a good word, especially on days when it’s 90+ degrees.

But yeah, Joel, I think my style of parenting (for adult kids, at least) closely matches yours.
My parents had me so late compared to my sibs (I’m 12 years younger than my next-oldest) that their parenting style changed with me. Spankings galore for them, time-outs for me. Although I was such a goody-goodie that I very rarely got in trouble. I think I was treated more like a grandchild to a large extent. Also, my parents were relatively poor when raising my sibs, so I was spoiled in comparison. Bro and sis still hold that against me, even though it wasn’t my fault.

]]> By: Joel http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-444 Joel Sat, 24 Jun 2006 01:01:55 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/06/23/lazy-good-for-nothing/#comment-444 Not to put too fine a point on it, GAC, but . . . 40 years old? Look, the best research on addiction shows that sheltering addicts is aiding and abetting the addiction. You intimate a drug issue. If my child had drug issues (and alcohol is a drug), my sympathies dictate that the best thing to do is let them work it out on their own. I'm not saying its easy. Doing the right thing is often not easy. But doing the right thing is best. I wish the best for you and your folks. Not to put too fine a point on it, GAC, but . . .

40 years old?

Look, the best research on addiction shows that sheltering addicts is aiding and abetting the addiction. You intimate a drug issue. If my child had drug issues (and alcohol is a drug), my sympathies dictate that the best thing to do is let them work it out on their own.

I’m not saying its easy. Doing the right thing is often not easy. But doing the right thing is best.

I wish the best for you and your folks.

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