June 30th, 2006 by The Bosphorus
Long ago, in galaxy far, far away called France there lived people who thought very highly of themselves. They met in salons where they had their hair done and talked. These puff heads eventually came up with great compendiums of knowledge called encylopedias. They thought they could put all of knowledge in these books.
So in the spirit of hair dressers of yore I give you,
Bosphorus’s Handy List of Things Not to Ignore.
1) Growth on the positive post of your car’s battery. It sometimes resembles a blue beard. Consequence: left stranded at work after hours and a morning spent wondering what could be wrong with stupid vehicle.
Solution: Clean the post imediately! Mix a heaping spoonful of baking soda into two cups of water and pour directly onto post. Don’t be surprised by the resulting chemical reaction. Please try this at your own risk, etc…
2) Don’t ignore termites flying around your house. These indicate the presence of pesky social bugs.
Consequence: Your house could fall down around you.
Solution: Call exterminator (see entry #154).
I hope you find this somewhat enlightening and that you will contribute to this worthy and advantageous enterprise.
June 30th, 2006 at 9:07 pm
I will wholeheartedly contribute to the application of random chemical substances to your positive battery post, Bos.
June 30th, 2006 at 9:10 pm
I am really bad about ignoring things in the hope that they’ll go away. I’m sure many crises could have been averted if I’d just admitted something something needed fixing.
June 30th, 2006 at 11:13 pm
Damn people…. you really do need to come to the realization that civilization has existed for thousand of years and if you come in contact with adult humans from time to time….ask a question for Christ’s sake.
July 1st, 2006 at 11:16 am
This seems appropriate.
July 1st, 2006 at 8:44 pm
I believe an adult human would consider that a BURN.