August 11th, 2006 by GoldenAppleCorp
A few minutes ago, I called the police station to report a parking violation on my street. Not one, but two cars are parked in front of fire hydrants. We only have three of them, and it’d be a damn shame if the firetrucks responded to a fire and were unable to get to any water. But more than that, it pisses me off that people get away with things.
I’ve always been a tattle-tale. I remember telling on Eric Wilson in third grade because he had candy in his desk and was sneaking pieces when Mrs. Alstead wasn’t looking. I remember in second grade Mrs. Crouch picked a classroom monitor after lunch every day while she was out of the room. We had to write names on the board of anyone who talked or did anything else they weren’t supposed to. This was my first taste of retalliation, as a punk kid named Bryan wrote my name down the day after I tattled on him. Even though I didn’t do anything.
I don’t tattle out of spite, though. It’s mostly an overblown sense of justice, I think. If I don’t do anything bad, no one else should, either. And if you do, then you deserve to get busted.
But that brings up a contrary idea. Perhaps I tattle because I’m jealous that I don’t have the courage to do naughty things. I’m never the person who drives on the shoulder to get past blocked traffic. I never cut line. I never cheat on tests or cut corners on assignments. I never park in front of fire hydrants. I never miss more than the maximum number of excused absences, even though I know other people in class do it and get away with it. I never behave rudely in movie theaters.
Of course, some would say this is just common courtesy on my part. It’s not, though, I don’t think. Because sometimes I want to do those bad things. I’m just too chicken shit to do it.
August 11th, 2006 at 9:35 am
GAC, I have never gotten the impression that you are afraid of anything. Online at least, you appear to be as tough as nails.
I think that you have a very healthy view of right and wrong, and have the self-discipline to do what you know is right.
That tattle tale thing is a bit whiney though.
August 11th, 2006 at 9:37 am
NO doubt.
August 11th, 2006 at 9:43 am
I view parking in front of fire hydrants as kind of a safety issue. In the middle of the big storm we had here a few weeks back, I was dragging tree limbs out of our street to keep the road clear for emergency vehicles. Same idea. Moving limbs by hand is just easier than dragging cars by hand, at least for me.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t call about a parking meter violation. That’s between a driver and his meter maid, IMO.
Situational ethics? OK, I’ll cop to that.
August 11th, 2006 at 9:53 am
Actually I don’t blame you at all for calling the po-leese about the blocked hydrants. Like Joel said, that is a serious safety issue.
Then again, I don’t blame Brian for putting your tattletaling name on the board either.
Like Joel said, situational ethics.
August 11th, 2006 at 10:00 am
Yeah, I can be whiney.
That Bryan kid was an asshole in the making, though. He totally deserved that five minute deduction from play time.
daco, it’s pretty easy to act like a tough bitch on the computer, when there’s little if any chance of repercussions. I suppose I can be that way in real life around people that I’m comfortable with, or with people that give off submissive vibes.
But mostly I’m a chicken.
August 11th, 2006 at 10:02 am
And no, Joel, I wouldn’t call about a meter being out or anything. But if you’re in front of a fire hydrant, or parked on the wrong side of the street, limiting vehicular movement, you best watch out.
People that park partially on sidewalks piss me off, too. It’s a pain to push a stroller into the road and heave it back onto the sidewalk to get around them.
AT just “accidentally” bumps into them. But that’s a story for a different day.
August 11th, 2006 at 10:34 am
And for the record, Eric Wilson was a righteous asshole. He gave me grief from k-12.
August 11th, 2006 at 10:46 am
Don’t blame him. You put yourself squarely between him and his candy.
August 11th, 2006 at 11:54 am
GAC is violent, and boisterous, but not very confrontational. I’ve never seen her try to get out of one, but shes not one to look for one either. But, we work out well, because I enjoy confrontations. And yes, I like to bump cars on the sidewalk as I walk by. If I dent them, bully. On street parking is lame, but only assholes take up sidewalk space.
August 11th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
It’s interesting for me to see what actually goes on inside your head, GAC, because sometimes I have a pretty different opinion of you that you have of yourself. You’re an onion.
August 11th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
I’ve been called worse, jdub.
August 11th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
I live in a subdivision where the posted speed is 35 (way too fast for a subdivison!!!), but people still fly by at 40+mph. There are tons of kids in the neighborhood, but these jerks still think its safe to drive at highway speeds. I’ve realized calling the cops about this does nothing, so I’m thinking of investing in road spikes that activate on my command, or even sitting on the porch with a paintball gun. Ethical to ruin someone’s car for safety? I think so….
So, GAC, I feel you on calling the cops. You just never know…..
August 11th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Dude, I say do it. I particularly like the strip idea.
August 11th, 2006 at 1:27 pm
With the paintballs we could color-code, so we’d know repeat offenders…. That might work for people parking beside fire hydrants too. That way you could do your civic duty but still feel bad….just an idea
August 11th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Thats a great idea. Personally, the hydrant people don’t bug me, but if they did, hell, they’re parked, walk over with a can of spray paint.
August 11th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Ploof, I can empathize. We live on a fairly main road here in town, and the speed limit is 25. It’s pretty common that folks go 40-50+ mph, though. We’ve been here about 8 years, and have had one man crash into the side of our house, one drunk driver hit the utility pole by our driveway, several teenagers drive through our yard and dozens upon dozens of wrecks at the nearby intersection. Bos and I have frequently wondered if we ought to put up spikes, speed bumps, booby traps or the like. I definitely like the paintball gun idea, though.
August 11th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Use a hair dryer as a fake radar gun.
http://www.local6.com/news/1072579/detail.html
Pensacola elementary school crossing guard who has been trying to slow down speeders near an elementary school for a decade has finally found a solution — a simple hair dryer.
Now everyone slows down approaching the school, and pleased local authorities said that using the radar gun look-alike to control traffic in a school zone appears to be perfectly legal.
Crossing guard Dale Rooks has made an adjustment here or there to the hair dryer, wrapping it with electrical tape.
However, drivers hit their brakes when they see it aimed at them.
August 11th, 2006 at 4:30 pm
Mrs. Eaves, it sounds to me like you and Bos should consider speaking to a realtor.
August 11th, 2006 at 5:12 pm
With 4 kids in a cemestos house, you ain’t joking.
August 11th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Hey I understand. My parents raised 5 in a “C” house. I couldn’t wait to escape.
August 11th, 2006 at 8:26 pm
Yes, it will be interesting come January when NewBaby arrives. 6 people and a dog living in a
August 11th, 2006 at 8:31 pm
In a what? A missile silo? A grain of sand? The letter J?
August 11th, 2006 at 8:43 pm
A shoe…no don’t tell me Mrs. you are gonna raise your family in a shoe?
August 11th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
Ah crap. Somehow the rest of my sentiment was eaten. Hmmm…in any case, AT and Daco’s answers are far more entertaining than what was originally put (a B).
As far as relocating, that’s inevitable at some point. For the time being, though, I’m pretty content to be squished in here, building some equity and enjoying my kitchen. The location sucks, and we’re never quite sure when the next incident will occur, but we love it anyway.
August 11th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
That’s the ticket Mrs., don’t worry be happy.
August 11th, 2006 at 11:41 pm
don’t worry about cars parking in front of hydrants. this is what happens when someone parks in front of a hydrant.
August 12th, 2006 at 9:48 am
Thats exactly what I was telling GAC earlier in the day. And its a beautiful thing.