Atomictumor

So, the great answer to the great question of WHAT IS A PLANET is….

A WORKAROUND!!!

Now, the verdict isn’t in, as the International Astronomical Union still has to vote on the proposal, but it appears that the group, not unlike the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences, likes to hedge its bets and only submit proposals that are bound to get the necessary two thirds vote. 

Now, the workaround itself is going to be that yes, the contested celestial bodies are going to be planets, but they’re going to be a Kato Kaelin version of planet called Pluton.

So, in the great scheme of things, this is how it works from little to big:

• Quark
• Atomic component (proton, neutron, Iraqi WMD, etc)
• Atom
• Molecule
• Crumb
• AT’s bank account (OR US foreign credibility, for the intellectuals out there…)
• Bison Frise
• Breadbox
• Luxembourg
• Hatchback
• Plot holes in M Night Shyamalan’s The Village
• A department store
• Star Jones (oh snap… wait, Star Jones fat jokes are wa-hay 2005…)
• Her ego (s’better)
• Oak Ridge
• Godzirra
• The Great Lakes
• Australia
• NSA budget (shhh, its a secret… btw, did you know they can file a secret patent?  Creepy, huh?)
• The Atlantic Ocean
• How much I love my wife (awwwww)
• Earth’s Moon
• Plutons
• Planets
• Stars (betcha thought I was going to make another one of those jokes…)
• Galaxies
• That stupid rose from the Dark Tower.  Seriously, did that ending suck, or what?

The word-of-mouth campaign is in full swing as supports across our state take to the streets in support of A. Tom Ictuma’s bid for office!