Atomictumor

Poison Ivy?

You tell me.

So, I’m hearing we have a water main break in Oak Ridge, off Lafayette today.

So, conserve.  We might have to start eating each other if this keeps up…

Well folks, the Tumor is about to be a year old, and in celebration of it I’m going to be rambling on about on around the 14th, and we’re going to have a party on the 17th. Its in Oak Ridge, and you’re all invited, so slap it down on the calendar now, because I’ll be offended if you don’t.
Chuck me an email at partydood (at) atomictumor.com for the details, and to let us know how many hot dogs and burgers to get.

We ask that you bring your own beer/booze, if you enjoy drinking it. This will not be a get blind drunk kind of affair, as we’ll have the kids running around, but beer is always a nice thing, and I’ll be damned if I’m buying it for everybody. If you’re into covered dishes or whatever, rock that on too.

Also, if you’re not a meatitarian, then you should probably make some sort of arrangement.  We’ll have buns, and dressings, but a meal that doth not make.  You’ll need to get some hippyburgers, or some such.  I’ll be glad to cook it, tho.

Woot.  Party!

The Observer today ran an editorial about how folks are complaining about a lack of input in city council affairs, in particular that emails sent to council seem to drop into a black hole.

I know what the problem is…

Gremlins.

Yep, they can wreak havok in a municipal computer system. See, the city doesn’t have robots guarding the email systems. Luckily, I was able to set one up for the ‘Tumor. Check it out for yourself, send an email to checkitout (at) atomictumor.com and see.

I’ll wait.

Bing, how about that? An automated, fresh from the robot oven response, just for you. That tides you over. It says “Hey, writer, you took a second to put some thoughts down on paper (kinda). I appreciate that, and in return for your valuable input, I’ll give you an instant response from my robot while I mull over the best way to respond personally to your message.”

Hell yeah.

But, unfortunately, the city has no robots. Might be because of funding. Or Republicans.

Which leaves the cortn.org mail server bogged down by gremlins, all intent on keeping those emails from getting to the sad and forlorn councilmen and councilwomen.

Hey, I was a victim myself. Back in May, I sent a few emails out, and put together a form email that a few other people sent out also. Problem is, none of us heard back. Its kinda like the Thunderdome, where two men enter, and one man comes out, except that it’s emails, nothing comes out, and no Tina Turner around.

However, to help things out, I am busting out with the home email addresses of every single elected official in Oak Ridge. Thats how we’ll confound those gremlins.

City Council:

Mayor David Bradshaw: drb1 (at) comcast.net
Vice-Mayor Tom Beehan: tombee1 (at) bellsouth.net
Louise (Lou) Dunlap: Ldunlap (at) nxs.net
Willie Golden: willaag (at) aol.com
David Mosby: DXM (at) y12.doe.gov
Jane Miller: jane.miller1 (at) comcast.net (also DJ6 (at) y12.doe.gov, which she checks more frequently)
Leonard Abbatiello: Laaaca (at) comcast.net

And the school board:
Keys Fillauer: wkfillauer (at) aol.com
Jennifer Richter: jrichter (at) utk.edu
Angi Agle: agle (at) bellsouth.net
John Smith, Jr.: smithjrj (at) saic.com
Dan DiGregorio: ddigregorio42 (at) comcast.net

And, to be fair, our email addresses here:

AT: atomictumor (at) atomictumor.com
GAC: gac (at) atomictumor.com
Bos: bosphorus (at) atomictumor.com
Eaves: mrseaves (at) atomictumor.com
George W. Bush: mammasboy (at) atomictumor.com
Lou Reed: stillalive (at) atomictumor.com
John Dillinger: reddress (at) atomictumor.com

Now, as in all situations, don’t email these people with fighting on your mind. You don’t want to get a phone call from some drunk dumbass asking if you have your head up your ass, and these people don’t want to get an email like that.

Use proper grammar. Start out with a ‘Hi, how you doin?’, and work your way gradually to the problem, but don’t take too long.

Because the gremlins are watching…