Atomictumor

So on my way home from lunch today, I was enjoying this beautiful kind of weather that makes you want to grab your best girl and yodel, while stopped at a redlight. An eternal red light.

I was in the right lane, and some massive SUV was in the left, pulled up about 3 feet further than me, so as to obscure my left view. King Kong could have been back there, and I wouldn’t have known. Unless he was noisy. Or smelled funny.

You know, King Kong probably would have some serious smell. He’d also have dander the size of a bison frise. But thats not the point here.

No, the point was a landscaper, having sat through the green light that was in his favor, seized on the opportunity to ford the road as the light was set to let us go.

I, as is my usual want, was in the process of revving the engine of the Volvo to the point of a shrill scream and looking around, daring anybody on the road to try their luck with me. As the light turned green, I threw the beast into first with a maniacal laugh, and flew out from the intersection, right as the hapless idiot picked that moment to wander out from his hiding spot in front of the SUV.

Quel dumbass, oui. But how much would that have been worth?

Well, good question. According to Death Race 2000 canonical rules, unfortunately, it would only be worth 20 points, which seems a bit lopside, considering that infants and the elderly are worth multiples of that. What the hell?

Wouldn’t it be the harder target that’d be worth the most points? I figure an adult male landscaper would have to be worth something, if for no reason that the signifigant girth of the man and the weedeater that the fellow was holding would probably dent the car up. I mean, its swedish steel, which is totally hard, but its also as aerodynamic as the Sears Tower, so its not like anybody’s going to roll over it.

Ah well, its a moot point.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 20th, 2006 at 3:07 pm and is filed under Rambling, Car. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.