September 30th, 2006 by GoldenAppleCorp
Door opens and closes… thump thump thump… door opens and closes… assorted and various muffled noises… door opens and closes… thump thump thump… door opens and closes… assorted and various muffled noises…
I ignored this ruckus for as long as I could (about 45 seconds) and then arose to see what was the matter. When I opened the door, I noticed two things immediately: the foulest smelt anyone has ever dealt, and Pigpen.
“Hey, buddy, whatcha doing?”
“Getting dressed.”
“Did you have a poop?”
“Yes.”
“I probably ought to help you wipe then, huh?”
“Yes.”
I open the bathroom door and OH SWEET BABY JESUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?
Every. Single. Surface. Is. Covered. With. Poo.
It’s on two(!?) pairs of underware, two towels, the pjs he went to bed in, the floor, the door, the toilet (inside and out (mostly out)), and the walls (higher than he can reach?!).
AT gets up and volunteers to do the cleaning since scenes of gratuitous violence make me queasy. It takes him a full half-hour to make the brown room white again.
When AT came back to bed, we tried to speculate as to exactly how Pigpen had managed to create such catastrophy.
Some things are best left unknown.
September 30th, 2006 at 11:35 am
A novel medium for interior decorating.
September 30th, 2006 at 11:53 am
Ahhhh…that’s why you call him Pigpen.
September 30th, 2006 at 11:58 am
OMG… and I thought five cats was messy. Maybe boys are more work than girls…
September 30th, 2006 at 12:04 pm
Been there. Man, have we been there.
September 30th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
As a matter of fact, my Dad was telling the story yesterday of why he and Mom used to call my sister Rembrandt. Sounds a lot like your story GAC.
September 30th, 2006 at 12:29 pm
This is the first time (that I remember, perhaps I suppressed something) that anything like this has happened.
According to my mom and dad, daco, my sister would often fingerpaint her crib as a tot. Neither of mine ever did that, thank god.
September 30th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
Oh, boy. My favorite is the time our dog, Bria, got into the diaper bucket. It was like she’d found the great cache of wontons but, mercifully, without the soup. The poetic justice she got the next day was a bit of recompence. Seems the super absorbant gel the diapers contained was undigestable even by a dog’s gut and hard to pass on through. There were little piles of it all around the backyard.
Heh, heh.
That said, I think her mess pales in comparison to that the mighty pigpen made.
September 30th, 2006 at 8:54 pm
poopoopooplosion.
September 30th, 2006 at 9:06 pm
The bathroom still has a distinctly Pigpen digestive system odor, but for the life of me I can’t find the source. Well, obviously, I don’t mean The Source, but…
September 30th, 2006 at 9:44 pm
What we need for this post is this…
http://blog.siliconholler.com/2006/09/28/the-internet-stinks/
October 1st, 2006 at 11:34 am
Nooooooooooo. Nonononono…
You wouldn’t say that if you’d experienced it.
Lordy no.