So, at some point last week, the “motivation” node of my brain shut down or burned out or something, which has left me with absolutely nothing to say on this forum. Which is disappointing, because I know all about my rabid fanbase (at this point, as I understand it, Norway is under martial law due to the riots), and I hate to disappoint.
So, carry on as best you can, and we’ll be back up and running as soon as the trepanning works.
The title says it all, right? I can just stop typing now, hit the “Publish” button and call it a day.
When we test drove our van, the lcd on the cd player didn’t work. We were told that sometimes “they just go out” and sorry Mr. & Mrs. Tumor, there was nothing else we could do. Sometimes it comes back to life for a short period. That’s when I rush to program stations… while I can still see the call numbers.
After we signed the papers and gave them our check, we got in the van to go home. Smoke started issuing from the left headlight. That appeared to be a case of mechanic who’s too stupid to install a lightbulb.
About a year ago a fly got in the van. I rolled down my driver’s window to let it out. I pushed the button to raise the window, but nothing happened. That night, AT took a look at it and managed to get the window up, but smoke started coming out of the door where the motor is.
Sometimes the passenger window works, but we try not to use it since we don’t know if it’ll ever go back up again.
The sunroof, too.
The “door ajar” sensors on the trunk and rear driver’s side door malfunction. Every time I go up a hill or hit a bump, the interior lights come on.
The RPM meter is stuck.
I’m almost out of windshield wiper fluid, so every time I turn a curve, that light comes on. Yeah, that one’s fixable. We’re just lazy.
The other day I woke up to take the kids to school. I hit my head on a lamp, couldn’t find my f-in’ keys, the kids couldn’t find any of their stuff. When I got to the van, everything malfunctioned at the same time. I got huffy and stomped my foot on the brake pedal.
Now the “service brakes” light comes on every time I use them.
This is kind of a disgusting post, with links to really gross stuff. If you don’t like gross stuff, go here!
I have two classes with a very funny girl named Kathy. Kathy is Polish, but grew up in Germany, so to the untrained ear, she sounds Russian. Exactly like Molotov Cocktease, actually. One day I will get her to say “Brock Sampson”.
But I digress.
Kathy came into class a few weeks ago talking about a nasty-as-fuck problem her husband was having. He woke up one morning with a large bump on his arm. It was bright red, with a good-sized hole in the center. So they did what any of us would do: they squeezed the crap out of it.
Pus seeped out and something could be seen behind the hole. So she broke out the tweezers. After what I can only assume was copius amounts of husbandly cussing, she pulled out a yellow sack-like thing. They threw the sack-like thing away, but took pictures of it for posterity’s sake.
Because it’s always good to know what you pull out of your body, her husband went to see his doc. After looking at the pictures, she admitted she didn’t know what it was. So she took the pictures to a colleague.
The colleague knew. It was a dermatobia hominis, aka human botfly.
Human botflies are typically found in Central & South America. The female botfly catches a mosquito and lays her eggs on it. When the mosquito lands on its victim, the egg(s) fall off onto the host and hatches. The maggot burrows under the skin where it lives and feasts on flesh. After about 8 weeks, it squirms out and goes off in search of a mate.
They grow up so fast!
The doctors said it’s not unheard of for someone to be a botfly host so far north, but it is extremely unusual. I guess he was just one lucky s.o.b.
Kathy got a kick out of telling this story to absolutely everyone at school. Kind of like how I’m enjoying grossing you all out now. :)
Pigpen: Quick! There’s a dinsosaur after us!
h” button and call it a day.