November 6th, 2006 by Atomictumor
I dropped Pigpen off at school today, and ran into a good friend of the family who didn’t know. He’s a big, limey dude, and he was tearing up. It feels not good, but right, to tell people whats happening. An acquaintance was working at the video store last night, he’s seen us go in there for years, and he happens to be in my Western Civ class, was stunned by it.
What would he tell me? The silence, and the “That’ll be $14.43″ was OK.
Anyway, on the way back from the preschool, I was heading up Outer, because I figured I’d call on Daco and his lil’ lady, to thank them for their support. We’ve recently become friends in ‘real life’, and GAC and I stopped by his house a week or two ago.  I started tearing up, tho, about 5 minutes before his house, and I don’t like people seeing me in grief.
Not in “real life”. I got myself back under as much control as I’ll allow, but then totally missed his house. I know where it is, but I think it was hiding.
Sorry Daco!
I’m going to talk to GACs school to see what we should do. Its a pretty safe bet, even in the best of scenarios, that she won’t be graduating with an associates degree in interior design. Its a shame, because she’s gifted with it, but its OK, because her job prospect was Home Depot, because the few times she tried to do ID jobs, the clients were total asses. Dog eat dog world.
Still, she was so looking forward to haveing two semi-professional incomes coming into the house, for the first time since we got together.
Sucks, doesn’t it?
…
Gonna eat, and then start the rotation of visitations. 10, 1, 3, 5:30, and 8:30, will forever be drilled into my head.
Feel free to come, if you think it would help you. I don’t know what would help me, and theres nothing we can do here on earth that will help BJ. We can pray, and I’m rusty at that, but I’ve been doing a lot of it. Pretty much with every breath.
Anyway, the day approaches, and I hide no longer.
I love you, GAC.
(Oh yeah, on the way to school, Pigpen and I waved at the hospital as we drove by, and said “Hi Mommy!”. A routine is born.
Love you baby)
November 6th, 2006 at 9:20 am
AT….
Why does it feel “right” to want to cover you up and hide you from the world? Cover you up just long enough for you to be able to scream or cry or sleep or stare at a wall without worrying about a million eyes on you, watching how you “handle” the situation..
You ask if its masochistic to want to write, to want to tell everyone how much you love her and why we should all love her too. But you know it’s not. You know your words are life lines to those of us who had to leave your side. I know by reading all your updates and by breating in your words I won’t take your pain away. I know there’s nothing I can do to live this for you. (Wouldn’t it be nice if we still believed a cigar burn could fix anything?) But, I pray for her. I pray for you. I pray for that crazy pigpen and his wolverine. I pray for Masta G and his near-super human ability to lose $70 toys.
I pray I won’t see you next weekend. I pray I won’t see you until Christmas!!! I love you.
November 6th, 2006 at 9:58 am
My thoughts and prayers for you and GAC and your family.
November 6th, 2006 at 11:17 am
I found out this morning from the big limey dude you ran into at the preschool. It feels wrong not to have known sooner. Please know our offer of ANY kind of help is given in the utmost sincerity. We offer our thoughts and love and all of our positive healing vibes.
November 6th, 2006 at 11:42 am
We’re here, and we’ll be here when (and if) we’re needed. I’m old fashioned and would much rather talk to you than at you through this website, but I know this is the best way to stay updated, so I’ll stay on it.
I love you
November 6th, 2006 at 11:50 am
AT, God loves rusty prayers. After all, doesn’t it make you smile to hear from someone you haven’t talked to in the longest time?
November 6th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
AT, you all are in our prayers. It is breaking my heart to see your family in so much pain. I do know one thing, BJ is a fighter and it may take a little while but, she will make it back to you. She loves you and the boys too much to do anything else. Stay strong and again….if you need anything just call.
November 6th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
AT, don’t you worry about not stopping at the house this morning. We will be here when you do feel like stopping by….whenever.
We just got home from work only minutes ago and I can’t tell you how many times we each thought of you guys through out the day. I know that we’ve only become friends in recent months, but you and GAC are both the kind of people that it is easy to fall in love with. Quality people. Real people.
We are with you brother.
November 7th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
I can’t tell you how many times you and BJ and family have been on my mind, in my heart and in my prayers. I’ll be sharing your site here with others that I know will want to encourage you all when things look so dark and bleak. It is the darkest just before the dawning. It is wonderful to see some change for the better. I will continue to lift you all up, and my heart goes out to you in your times of not knowing just what to say to the boys. Prayers that the doctors will be able to find the root cause of this to better stabilize her condition. The best stabilizer is prayer. Let me know if you need anything. All your teammates here at the Invitrogen SD are thinking of you and being ver moved by your site and writings. This is an awesome journal - what a gift and one that will be a lasting testimony to miracles in these days. I’m believing for a miracle as we all are. Give BJ our love and wish her a complete recovery. Ramona Williams of the Regal SD came by to see how BJ and you are doing. I told her I’d let you know. She sends the best love, care and prayers to you all.
Take care and know that you have good friends here.