Comments on: Man, I’m an ass

By: jonathan hickman

jonathan hickman — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:14:58 +0000

Don’t worry about it, man. It’s good that you apologized, but if they don’t understand, they’re not worth worrying about.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:15:43 +0000

I happened upon you from the Busymom blog. I’m going to bookmark you so I can keep up with your wife’s progress…yes, I said progress. I have every positive thought and prayer coming your way. I can hear the anger/frustration in your writing and I can feel your pain. Please keep the positive thoughts flowing, that will help her get better. Take care of those little ones as best you can and accept help from everybody who offers!

By: ben

ben — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:16:13 +0000

You’re not an ass. You’re hurting. There’s a difference.

Old man with clipboard? Should be able to back off. A little tact goes a LONG way. Especially with people that are hurting. And ya know? ICU is where you’ll find them, day in and day out.

Hang in there. Bring your own clipboard next time, and you two can share notes.

By: Atomictumor

Atomictumor — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:30:49 +0000

You folks rock.

By: Bill Beck

Bill Beck — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:38:13 +0000

I was over at AdventureDad.com and he mentioned you
might need some prayers. I’m sending some your way and will make a post so others can do the same this week. Hold on to the good thoughts and remember there is no better medicine than love.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:38:17 +0000

Just wanted to let you know that I put a link thru on my blog today. I’m trying to help get a big prayer chain going for you, GAC and the kids!

By: LissaKay

LissaKay — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:48:49 +0000

Man, I’m an ass

Yeah, well … you’re OUR ass, and we still love you.

I run interference for my parents with hospitals and doctors all the time. The truly compassionate in the medical world, believe it or not, are few and far between. Too many are there just for the paycheck. They try to intimidate you into fitting into the little molds for patient families so you aren’t “in the way” or making “more work” for them. And that is very easy to do with hurting, grieving family members. Tough shit for them. You aren’t there for their convenience, you are there to for the benefit of their patient, your loved one. It’s part of their job to care for the family too.

By: ella

ella — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 19:56:13 +0000

Here by way of BusyMom.

You’re not an ass, you are human.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

By: Jacket

Jacket — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:02:32 +0000

Bureaucrats, ahhhh!

By: Punk HP

Punk HP — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:03:16 +0000

Times like these help to peel away the layers of our Onion,… and you found out….. Your Irish!!!!! Peace be with you.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:12:04 +0000

Rules are made to be broken. You do what’s best for your family. Wave a flag if you need us to come over there and distract clipboard man.

By: Lynnster, yeah

Lynnster, yeah — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:18:57 +0000

Almost 25 years of clinic & hospital experience here - bottom line, the hospital shouldn’t be sending those folks around bugging families of patients as critical as she is. Somewhere in that hospital there’s someone that know’s that’s in poor/bad taste, policies/schmolicies.

Even tho you apologized and that’s sweet that you did - there should be someone in that facility who is head of “Quality Review”, “Quality Analysis”, or some such department. If you can’t track down the proper dept., call someone in Administration, they should be able to transfer you to whoever the QR/QA person is. Please call or see that person and tell them what happened with this man and explain your situation. It’s really bad form and they really do need to know that they have employees bugging patient families at times they should be stepping back. If you can take a couple of minutes to call the QR/QA person, that’ll likely see to it that no other family is pestered the same way over that issue. And I guarantee you will likely have nothing but exceptional treatment by staff and no more such bothers from here out.

You are all still in my constant prayers, hang in there AT.

By: sandegaye

sandegaye — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:31:34 +0000

Hi AT.. I’m here via Newscoma & Cuppa Joe Powell. Just wanted you to know that your life story is reaching out far wider than anyone may have thought. And everyone that I know sends love & well-wishes to your family.

The love you & GAC have is forever.. & we all plan to be at that 50th wedding anniversary.

By: meice

meice — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:36:41 +0000

You’ve been there for what, a week now? For what you’re paying for the care, they should not be hassling you about anything. You’ve been a fixture there and some old man has no business waving pushing around protocol that doesn’t really apply to you - strangers off the street, sure but not a spouse.

By: Tessa

Tessa — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:40:03 +0000

Another Busymom ready who is following your journey. That’s what this is you know. Its a journey to your future. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I swear its not an empty platitude, though it seems it is. Through this catastrophic event you’re realizing the strength of your love, your heart, your wife and your kids. Its revealing to you a network of support that’s hidden from the day to day. Its giving you another chance, another reason to have faith. More than anything, right now, I know it sucks but there are silver linings there for you to find and hold onto, to help sustain you through your tears and fears and anger. I’m one of the many shoulders and hearts for you to lay your burden down with. My prayers are with you and your boys and BJ.

By: marladusa

marladusa — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:49:19 +0000

“We have a problem. There’s a guy in there that loves his wife and is visiting during visiting hours.”

What was his complaint again? Did he just think too many people were in the room?

At any rate, your visits should be considered medicine too. BJ needs that dose.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:49:24 +0000

Love and prayers coming your way from every angle. Please hang in there.

By: Krissy Poopyhands

Krissy Poopyhands — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 21:02:27 +0000

I don’t know how you feel about swearing, but f*ck him. Seriously. There are petty, bossy beurocratic snotfaces in every environment and for being innapropriately officious and imposing.

F*ck him.

Hang in there. Mad is a resonable response here.

By: Perry

Perry — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 21:19:08 +0000

AT, let me please echo what Lynnster said @ #12. This was most likely a glitch with the people….and will not likely occur again. The nurses will know how you have been there and are on your side. A young woman so very ill and no known cause likely has the emotions of the entire unit in a knot.

Prayers….

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 21:32:41 +0000

What Lynnster said. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Big Hug.

By: Atomictumor

Atomictumor — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 00:18:21 +0000

A lot of it does stem from my not knowing what I look like. I’m big, hairy, in a t-shirt. I don’t seem scary in my head, but with sunken eyes, and wild hair, I imagine I’d be a site.
GAC will get SUCH a kick out of this, if she makes it. This will be a highlight for her to read, and she’ll laugh her ass off.
Hell, anybody who knows me is probably laughing their ass off. You guys have permission, y’know!

But more importantly, I feel bad because I let my emotions control me. Anger has always been weakness. I wrote a post about that, it was titled “Anger, Anger, Treats me Hard”, and it was written in better days.
I consider a loss of temper intolerable in this situation. It provides nothing but relief for me, and temporary relief at that. Its not constructive. Its childish. Its weakness. I can’t afford that now.
I’m afraid that I let BJ down by doing that. I know, intellectually, that I didn’t, and that if anything she was relieved that I still have that fire in me, because she sees a lot of that, on much calmer surfaces, in our marriage.
I hate rules. I’m a rebel.
But it was inexcusable for me to behave like I did, and I can’t afford to weaken my relations with BJ’s healers.
Thanks for your help, folks. I admitted my mistake, and you told me its OK. You guys are awesome.