November 7th, 2006 by Atomictumor
Dear old man with the clipboard:
Do you have a wife? Maybe you lost her a few years ago, after years of marriage, or maybe she’s with you. Maybe you never found somebody, but spent years trying.
I’m 28, and I’ve been married for 10 years to the girl in the bed.
we are supposed to have 50 or so more years.
I told you as politely as I could that I wasn’t interested in the badges. I’m following your visiting hours, despite what you complained about to the nurse when, on my advice, you went to talk to her. 10, 1, 3, 5.30, 8.30. I’m not in your fucking hospital, breathing your fucking air, when its not those times. AT those times, I will be with my wife. I will not leave my wife. Her parents will be with her. My mother will be with her. We will not crowd her, or pull teh wires.
We are not stupid children, who will push buttons, or spill drinks on the floor.
If you get between me and my wife, my wrath will come out. It will be ugly, and it will be UNCONTROLLABLE.
Do not make me waste the time we have right now, talking to you about your fucking badges. Or about your fucking list.
Do not go to the nurse and say “We have a problem”.
What I told you was “Please go talk to linda, I’m not intrested in the administration procedures.”
That is exactly my words.
Oh, old man, grief can change. I feel it now, in my blood, that I want to ake teh WHY and the HOW and the OH GOD MY WIFE IS DYING and find somebody to blame.
I am a mammal, and you came between me and my mate.
Oh, old man, please don’t do that again. I’m not going to wait in your watiing room,with the people talking about weather, or football. With the TV playing election news.
Oh old man, how dare you change the subject from BJ to your rules, and whatever baggage you have about just looking the other way when a griving, 28 year old husband talks to his beauty.
Don’t make me…
Oh hell.
Theres nothing to fear, nothing todoubt.
I love you BJ. I love you BJ. I love you BJ.
Why, old man, why?
I love you, BJ.
November 7th, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Hang in there, AT. She knows you’re fighting for her, and it means everything.
“…and the greatest of these is love.”
November 7th, 2006 at 2:26 pm
You got mad. Good. Get it out. Your human, and being that I have been in a situation similar to this a few years back (with a mother, not a spouse) we get mad.
Best to get that stuff out here writing about it, feel it, get it over with and move on.
Being human sucks, especially during times like these.
Hang in there. You probably made her laugh a little with all of this.
Love is like that.
November 7th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
When my dad was at St. Mary’s, there were so many times I was hopping mad at the hospital big-wigs. The nurses seemed to know the score far better than the docs. I sent Joe out to kick some butt on several occasions (since my high-pitched screaming didn’t seem like the way to go at the time). What I came to realize in most instances is that the staff on ICUs and critical care units should be and usually are well equipped to handle stressed out loved ones. They are supposed to do whatever they can for you as well as your wife–they are supposed to accommodate the both of you. So don’t feel bad about getting mad. You deserve to be mad. If the staff can’t accommodate that anger, well, I know where there’s a lake they can go jump in.
November 7th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Badges? You don’t need no stinkin’ badges!
November 7th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
Well done.
November 7th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
hi
my heart goes out to u and your family, my son Evan is a friend of yours and he told me last nite about your wife, i prayed a prayer for her complete recovery last nite, i will continue to pray for her…pls hold on to your faith…believe in a miracle, it can happen
i feel your pain..hold on
November 7th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
Jacket, I’ve been saying
“we don’t need no steeking badges” all day.
Rock on.
November 7th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Keep sayin’ man. Badges are for insecure people that don’t know their place. Some folks carry them to look big. I really know about that one. Again, you don’t need no stinkin’ badges.
That really sucks.
November 7th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Like the whole CCU staff doesn’t know him by now…
November 7th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Night shifts taken over now. I’ve got them trained…
November 8th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
I’m so unbelievably relieved that BJ has turned a corner. It is truly the power of prayer. If you prefer, call it the power of focusing your will towards a specific outcome of and event, and multiply that energy by many, while at the same time, holding an attitude of humility for the power that is called and channelled. St. Paul says that often we don’t get what we pray for because we pray for the wrong things. There isn’t anything righter than praying for BJ and her family. I’ve been away for a couple of days, but left instructions to Ralph to keep on top of this, and call me immediately if there was any need. I didn’t get any calls. I have never been so happy to not be called. I’ll continue to pray and ask for prayers, but with a more confident heart, and for her complete recovery. Now, man, get some sleep, it is still a long haul until she is home and back into the groove of everyday life.
Love you.
November 8th, 2006 at 9:50 pm
When I was in your position, I threatened to beat a helpless old man with his own cane on his huge swollen foot, if he tried in his crazy drugged state to use the crook of his cane to move my man’s iv unit again. The nurse had to show me out, and arrange to have the said poor old man moved to another room. So it worked out. I swear, I would have. One gets protective. One has to, this is no time to be nice. Kind, careful, considerate, yes. But not nice for the sake of nice. Don’t sweat it. If I’d been there, he might be missing body parts. You did well.
November 8th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
I forget, Sue, that you’ve been there. I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t there for you. I had no idea, what you were going through.
Thanks for being there for me, Sue. Thank Norman for me, too.