Short little tiny hours post

November 7th, 2006 by Atomictumor

Just called Gary, she’s OK.  BPs in 80s-90s, white blood cell count is back down to 27000.  Calcium is at acceptable levels, which is such welcome news.  It means her vascular system is putting it where it belongs, and that wasn’t happening 24 hours ago.

Today will be another day filled with more pain and sadness and grief than should exist.  Fear, hope.  I’ll have weaknesses and make mistakes.

My sweet one.  She weighs 35 pounds more than I do, and I’m a considerably large person.  She’s a considerably small person (5′2″ vs my 6′4″), and she out weighs me by a margin right now because of the fluids.

But another good sign is that her urine output is up, her kidneys are trying.

Maybe they’ll try diyalisis again ( don’t think I spell that the same way twice).  I think I can get behind that, but I’m usless.

I’ve rested, 5 hours, which is almost a full nights sleep.  I’ll cry until my face feels hollow, and then I’ll be drained again tonight.

Please, BJ, don’t get worse again today.  Please don’t give me reason to accept your death.

There is nothing to fear, nothing to doubt.

I love you.

34 Responses to “Short little tiny hours post”



  1. The Breeze Says:

    Thats even better news. I still am praying for you and your family. I pray that today will be a good day for you,GAC and the family. With more good news than bad where you can put a smile on your face and your kids will be able to put a smile on their face. Keep a stiff upper lip and keep asking the Lord to guide you through all this and strengthen you.

  2. GBscientist Says:

    It’s so nice to wake up to good news. I will be sure to inform the Family.

  3. Joel Says:

    Love is born in fire, it’s planted like a seed;
    Love can’t give you everything but it gives you what you need;
    Love comes when you are ready, love comes when you’re afraid;
    It can be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made.

    “Give Yourself to Love”
    Kate Wolf

  4. MountainGirl Says:

    We are thinking the best of thoughts your way. My husband always says, “I’m not afraid of death, I’m comforted by the prospect. If God takes me, it means he needs me for a reason I couldn’t begin to understand.” It’s helped me to feel the loss of someone may be extremely important to Him.

    We’re praying He doesn’t need GAC yet.

    Blessings Abound.

  5. Christina Says:

    Those are wonderful signs - keep telling her to keep fighting that bacteria and get back to you. She can hear you, despite what they tell you. When we went through this, they gave my hubby a blood transfusion, which brought his bp up to levels that he could take dialysis - I hope that will be true for her too. Hang in there - we are all praying hard for you all.

  6. Randall Says:

    Sometimes we have the energy to sore, sometimes we have the strength to run, sometimes we have the ability to just walk and sometimes it’s all we can do to put one foot in front of the other. We are praying for your second wind.

  7. jenwright Says:

    We’re still here, too. You and BJ and the boys never leave our thoughts. Oddly enough, I discovered yesterday that being around you gives me an infectious peace about the situation because of your encouraging, nurturing love. But since I’ve been home I’ve been weeping every time thoughts of her cross my mind, which like I said before, is quite often. I love you all so much - D and I love how close our families are. It’s a blessing from God that the older we get the more I admire and love you.

  8. Judy Says:

    Hi again -woke up thinking of you all and will keep you in my prayers and thoughts today. Be strong - all of you.

  9. MEL AND TERRI Says:

    We met the two of you at Betsy’s and were so impressed. We have been reading daily and keeping in touch with Netmom. Sounds like great improvement and you might be on the road to mending. We are praying for your family and want you to know we are there if you need anything. Just e-mail.

  10. Busy Mom Says:

    Still praying and glad to hear a bit of good news!

  11. Aunt Nun Says:

    Me too. Still praying. And thanking God for the internet. Love ya lots.

  12. AdventureDad Says:

    Still here hoping she gets better

    AD

  13. KCS Says:

    I don’t know you, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking about your family and have you all in my prayers. Your posts radiate the amazing love that you have for your wife, and I know she has to feel that when you are with her. Keep the hope alive, as she sounds like an incredible, STRONG woman. Take care of yourself and your sweet boys, and we’ll be thinking of you.

  14. RLGelber Says:

    Happy to hear a bit of good news. Hang in there.

  15. Kathy T. Says:

    If the prayers of strangers help at all, then let’s keep praying and hoping and crying right along with you. Much love and warmth your way.

  16. Mrs Eaves Says:

    AT, we love you and we’ll see you soon.

  17. Frank Says:

    Great to hear that BP is getting better. Prayers are working and God is moving. We (Team Swap) and all of our friends both on and offline will continue to pray for her improvement and your strength.

  18. ben Says:

    I’m still here for you, for her, for you all. I wish I could do more than hope and pray (I’m not very good at praying, but I’m giving it what I can).

    Take care.

  19. LissaKay Says:

    I can see the hospital from my desk here at work. We are cheered to hear the great news of improvement and our prayers are continuing. Hang in there, Jake … we’re here for you.

  20. newscoma Says:

    This is wonderful news.
    Wishing you peace.

  21. Rocky Top Talk Says:

    Praying for you . . . .

  22. Bug Says:

    Here from Busy Mom, just wanted to wish you all well. You’re in my thoughts, things will get better *hugs*

  23. alala Says:

    Keeping you in my prayers today. Good luck.

  24. djuggler Says:

    Hehe. LissaKay.. Your link shows us “stopthief.gif”

  25. Amy Williams Says:

    Jacob,

    It is really great to hear that things are improving. Please let us know if you all need anything. My sister and I are praying for you and your family.

  26. Ericka Erwin Says:

    *fingers crossed* Here’s hoping for a better day!! Tell BJ that we are all thinking and praying for her.

  27. Sonia Says:

    Two different blogs linked you, so I had to come over. I’ll be thinking of you, crossing my fingers and toes, doing a voodoo dance, praying, hoping, whatever will work for your wife. I can’t imagine it, I really can’t. If you blogging helps you in any way honor her, say whatever you need to say….there are obviously people who are pulling for you.
    She must be very special to have someone love her so utterly and completely as you clearly do.

  28. Bluegrass Mama Says:

    Came here yesterday at Busy Mom’s urging and have been praying for you & your family ever since. I’m glad you’re finding your way back to God through all this–don’t let go of that, whatever happens! But my prayers are for healing.

  29. Mike Says:

    You’re in our thoughts!

  30. Jamie Says:

    I found you through Busy Mom’s blog and just want to say you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  31. Susan Says:

    One more stranger, praying for you and your family.

  32. Alan. Says:

    John 14:27

    It’s what got me through.

  33. Lynnster, yeah Says:

    So happy to read things are looking up a little. May they keep on doing so. Continuing to keep you all in prayers…

  34. jenwright Says:

    Al, I’ve been looking for a verse to share. Having been through something similar, I think you’re probably a better candidate to find a meaningful one that I am.