November 8th, 2006 by Atomictumor
Rolling Stones is playing. I firmly believe that the four albums, Beggars Banquet, Let it Bleed, Sticky Fingers, and Exile on Main Street, are the best run in music ever.
I love music. I’m an artist in soul, and played guitar off and on for 15 or so years, but I’m not any good. Sure, I can cover a White Stripes song, back when BJ was my Meg and played the drums, but it was only mediocre.
I love music, because it gets right to what needs to be said. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense until you need it. Like “Nothing to fear, nothing to doubt” made such a sublime sense a few days ago.
Theologians, by Wilco, on Ghost is Born (the same record that produced Hummingbird, the song playing as I prepared to say good-bye to her, and about 9 other amazing songs that always meant a lot to GAC) is another good one.
I’ve always listened more to the music than the lyrics, but mebbe the lyrics say something to parts of your brain when you’re looking the other way.
Vein of Stars, on Flaming Lips “At War With The Mystics” really spoke to me this morning. As I said, MastaG picked it out on his way to school. The first two songs are great. I always felt that the album was unbalanced, however, because the first two songs are silly, giddy, weird pieces of escapism, followed by this slower, quieter, not ballad song, but just a subdued song.
Who knows
maybe there isn’t a vein of stars callin’ out my name
they’ll glow from above our heads
nothin’ there to see you down on your knees
25, 26, 27
back from the future maybe there aint no heaven
there’s just you and me
maybe that’s all whose left
& if there aint no heaven
maybe there aint no hell
Man, thats great. God is what God is. It might be a vein of stars. It might be “the force”, as one of you suggested yesterday. It might be the dwarf I talked about (I’m not crazy about that anymore. I think now he’d look like Joel [not to bestow godhood on you, buddy, but to say that God would exude intelligence, wisdom, and peace])
Point is, I’m not looking for him, I’m open to him. When I look for things, I get tunnel visioned. When I relax my mind, open my senses, feel my perspective widen, and relax, it turns up.
That wasn’t so hard, was it?
Maybe instead of the Bible, the God who I’ll deal with talks through the Stones and the Lips. And Wilco. And Radiohead.
Through the superheros of my children. The love of my family (and you are all my family).
Gotta flip the record. Figure I’ll make coffee.
“Love, sister. Its just a kiss away.”
BJs doing a lot better now. Swelling has gone down dramatically, except for the bruses around her eyes (poor, poor baby) she looks like she has her face back. Her pores are all open, and her skin looks amazing, because of all the fluids. I’m told that it gets rid of wrinkles, so, hey ladies, acute renal failure and septis may just been the next Botox, huh?
I’m doing a lot better now. MastaGs at school, and wants to come home, but I want him to see that he can spend a day in school. Tough love.
Pigpen is showing Wolverine to the class. Maybe he’s telling them that he’ll save Mommy.
No tears today, no grief. Hope, but easy, loving hope.
I’m having a good day, right now.
I love you. So very much. So very much.
November 8th, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Keep up the positive attitude. Sounds like the kids are doing well! I hope he did tell the class that Wolverine was going to save his mom we all have to have a hero, right?
November 8th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
AT:
IT IS GOOD TO READ PEACE IN YOUR WRITINGS AGAIN. GREAT ABOUT BJ. SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE ON THE ROAD. THINK I’LL FIND ANOTHER WAY TO CLEAR UP MY SKIN. RENAL FAILURE DOESN’T SOUND REAL APPEALING. GIVE HER ALL OF OUR LOVE AND PRAYERS AND TELL HER WE WAKE UP WITH HER IN THE MORNING AND GO TO SLEEP WITH HER AT NIGHT THROUGH YOU.
November 8th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
That is awesome news!!
November 8th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
So glad to hear things are looking up. My family’s been praying, to whoever and whatever it is that’s bigger than us, and we will continue.
November 8th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Just got back for lecture and already there’s more good news. Bring it on.
“Gotta flip the record.”
You’re playing LPs?
November 8th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Great to see that the news is still getting better. We are and will continue to pray to God for continued recovery and a quick return to normalcy in your lives.
November 8th, 2006 at 1:33 pm
Still thinking about you and your family. Still wishing for peace in your hearts and in your minds and in BJ’s body. Glad to see your post.
November 8th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
I am so happy to hear that you are finding some peace and that BJ is doing much better. I have been keeping an online vigile since yesterday.
November 8th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Sha-doobie..Shattered Shattered
November 8th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Excellent news. Internet hugs to you all.
November 8th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Hey AT, good to hear the spark and peace back into your writings this afternoon. It is great news to hear that BJ is doing better - much better. We will continue to believe that this recovery is well on its way now. May the peace and knowledge of the friends that you have give you comfort too. Take care and will continue to check on you, the boys and to see BJ’s condition continuing to improve. Give her our best. Take care, SandyT
November 8th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
I think, though my thoughts tend to mean less and less every day, that all God’s really going to ask of you is to keep your mind open (yeah, but seriously…about the “dwarf” thing…probably not) As long as you keep answering, He’ll keep knocking.
I love you sweetie. God Bless.
Oh yeah….so, trying to figure out if I should come home again to see you? Figured spend time in Chatt and drive up there Sat with the rest of us kids…. Because I know your biggest concern right now is seeing your favorite sister…right…..
Don’t worry, I’ll figure this one out. Love you.
November 8th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
I hear we’re getting some little visitors for a couple of days… I’m looking forward to that. As long as you’ll be okay without them. Call me if you need me and I’ll come up tomorrow.
November 8th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
Awsome, awsome news!!!! Prayers aren’t stopping though!
November 8th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
“Maybe instead of the Bible, the God who I’ll deal with talks through the Stones and the Lips. And Wilco. And Radiohead.”
The few times I’ve felt what I can ineptly describe as a “God presence” have been through music. It’s that point where you arrive at a different plain…and it’s just raw somethingness - no words or language, no theology, no rules or expectations. Just a vague understanding of something greater.
November 8th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
” . . . it’s just raw somethingness - no words or language, no theology, no rules or expectations.”
Exactly: “No guru, no method, no teacher”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Guru,_No_Method,_No_Teacher
November 8th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
Joel, it is totally LPs. Marquee Moon by Televison is now.
November 8th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Hooray. So happy and grateful to hear that she’s improving.
November 8th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
I like the idea that Wolverine will save the Mama. That’s what superheros are for.
I think you’re a pretty super hero, too, by the way.
November 8th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
AT, Susan called you “pretty”. Hmmm….guess she hasn’t seen your picture……
HAHA!! Love you AT
And Susan, you’re right, he’s about as close as they come without wearing spandex or a cape.