Atomictumor

The name GAC (prounounced, as Sue stated, geeayesee, but I’m sure alot of folks say gack. Sometimes I would) is GoldenAppleCorp. When she puts on a post, its by GoldenAppleCorp. I, being one for brevity, shorten it to GAC. She shortens me from Atomictumor to AT, but the difference is that I’m more just -AT (ayetee), and the website is Atomictumor.

She thought of that name for the website, and I liked it so I started calling myself it. She gets onto me sometimes for having no imagination.
She’s always been good at the internet naming thing. When we met, her super secret online name was Rahdya. Its been a long, long time, and I get the feeling that she’ll correct my spelling. Rahdya was, I believe, in some Hindi mythologies, the wife of Krishna, but as I can’t find her name on Wikipedia, I’m not sure. BJ had a picture of her. It was a good name. In those early years, I fell as much in love with Rahdya as I did with BJ.

We met in 1996.

A year before that, I had gone through an impressive bout of teenage bi-polar nastyness. I emerged with scars on my body. Eventually I’d put a cigar out on my arm, giving me my most impressive one, looking at me to this day. That was in October, when my little sister, who was very much like me, in pain, but when I was 17, she was 13, when she went to a hospital for a while with symptoms much like me. She healed, as I did, and is now a productive member of society. She’s around here, Bullet is her super secret code name.

I was aimless. I had spent the better part of a month of my senior year sequestered from the world in Valley Psych Hospital, dealing with problems. My childhood was great, my parents are (as you can tell) great. It was just chemicals out of whack in my head. No trauma as a kid.

Anyway, this is the backstory.

I went to UT, because my longtime pal was going there, and because I was aimless and didn’t have anything better to do. I was really interested in getting out and starting my life, now that I’d put a nice stopper to my old one.

So, Fall of 96, GAC and I were both first time Freshmen.

I lived in Clement. She drove into school from home in Andersonville.

She was wanting to go to Berea, but her folks made too much money (which I still don’t understand. Her dad’s been retired on disability for decades. They help us with money, because they’re givers, and we need it, but they ain’t rich). She had done very well in school. She went to Anderson County, which I see as a farmer school, being so much more cosmopolitian, and from an inner-city magnet school in Chatt-town.

People were mean to her because she was different. She dressed like a hippy (along with Eaves, who was her friend then. That brings me joy, that she’s part of our life now). She was voted “most unusual”, and took the picture standing backwards. She doesn’t talk favorably about school, but BJ tends to talk bad about things she loves that hurt her, so I don’t know if it was as bad as she lets on. I’m sure there were assholes there, and I’m sure they bugged her a lot, but she had a circle of close friends, and we’ll leave it at that. She can tell that story, I wasn’t there. I’ve always said we wouldn’t have gotten along if we met then, but we would have.

Anyway.

We were both doing work-study work at Sophies Cafeteria, in Strong Hall. I, being the mohawked people person, preferred to work in the dishroom, cracking jokes with cook staff. I worked evenings. I started smoking because it looked fun when everybody else did it on the dock. It was really cool.

She worked mornings usually.

One day, in September, a few weeks after school started, this dorky guy named Dave asked her if she could take an evening shift for him. He had a crush on her. He was sort of a supervisor there, but also a student, maybe a junior or sophomore. I didn’t like him, but thats beside the point. She switched shifts with him.

I went in that night for work, I think it was a Tuesday. I had on a Bedtime For Democracy t-shirt on, a leather studed dog collar thing around my neck, camouflage pants, a poorly done mohawk. We did the around the table thing where it was determined where we would work. I was back in the potroom (there was a dishroom, in the front, with the big assed massive machine that takes trays in an assembly line fashion, and a pot room in the back, with a more traditional washing/sanitizing thing) that night.

During the meeting I noticed her. I remember the first time I saw her. I think (tho I could be wrong) that she was sitting down. She had very thick, loosely curly hair. She was attractive, but I kinda had a girlfriend back home that was 2 or 3 years younger than me (hey, I was 17 at the time, so it wasn’t jailbait, people. I had been totally bad news for this girl, and we were dating in name only, but that doesn’t matter. She was a sweet girl, and I understand she’s married with kids now. Woot!) She was wearing a blue Starsky and Hutch t-shirt, that had Huggy Bear on the front saying “What it is!”. It was freakin awesome, tho I hadn’t, and still haven’t watched an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
Anyway, I knew she wasn’t usually there, and she looked really interesting. I was lousy with girls, so I didn’t put much more thought into her. I worked in the potroom, scrubbed the kitchen dishes and pots.

As the night shift ended, she and I were assigned to put up the chairs and mop the floor in the lesser used side of the cafeteria (sort of another wing, that we’d close off earlier).

We worked a bit, me watching her, figuring that she thought I was some kind of thug. There was something about loving being the friendly punk. Nodbob, my little brother, has a mohawk now (a much, MUCH better one that I had), and people think he’s a thug, tho he has the warmest smile, and the softest heart of anybody I know.

I girded my loins, and made my move.
As I put the chairs on the table, I worked towards this mystery girl. Still admiring her shirt I said “Nice shirt!” She said “Thanks”.

Emboldened, I said “I spent last spring in a mental hospital!”

…

She smiled a sweet smile, and she might have said something. I don’t think she was taken aback, but I felt stupid. It was the first thing that went into my mouth. I really didn’t want her, intellectually, as a girlfriend (before her, I had had exactly 2 steady girlfriends. I was never a playa), I just wanted her in my life somehow.

As we worked I noticed I was moving a lot faster than her. I haven’t thought about this since then, but she was being a perfectionist, as she likes to do. I like to get a job done adaquetely, but quickly. She’ll work a lot longer to do a good job.

I wanted to get the hell out of there, so I showed her my way to mop. She said “OK” with that smile. We small talked. We finished.

At the end of the shift, I found myself walking out near her. We talked more. What the conversation was, and what it was at the diner we found ourselves at later, is lost to time.

Now, I think it was us finding out about each other. I think we knew each other, from before, but not in life. Of course, I didn’t think that at the time.

We exchanged phone numbers, and a friendship was born.

—

Time for the 10 o’clock show.

I still have that starsky and hutch T shirt, I could wear it today. I kinda stole it from her, and its been in my drawer for years. I wear it occasionally, but its falling apart, and I’d rather preserve it.

Oh girl, I love you. I love you so much.