November 13th, 2006 by Atomictumor
Well, I haven’t seen GAC since 1 today, and I miss her. She was going for her head CT as I was walking up at 3, and at 5:30 BJ’s Dad called to tell me that they had done the EEG, but not the CT. Haven’t heard anything since.
As with everything in this mess, I’m expecting it to be inconclusive. I mean, hell, every medical test they could come up with was inconclusive. She has an illness that doesn’t have the decency to tip its hat and identify itself, what else should I expect?
The boys and Mom (and me, about 60% at least) are watching Cars. It was the first movie that Pigpen ever saw in the theaters, we saw it while MastaG and BJ went to see the Pirates of the Carribean sequel. Its good, but I’d rather see it with her (of course).
Who knows? Maybe our shit luck has run out? Maybe they’ll be like “dude, she’s totally awake. We just had to tap her head and say ‘BJ, wakey wakey’”. I can’t say with any certainty that I’ve done that yet…
—
I’ve been thinking about her poor digits today. It didn’t occur to me until this afternoon that this will completely screw up her typing. I’ll need to get in good with some voice recognition software, can anybody recommend a package?
Also, in response to some of you in the comments, I don’t argue about the need for amputation. I tend to keep some of the more ugly details about her condition secret, but here you go:
The tissue is black. It is wasting away. The tips of her sweet little fingers, that I’ve bitten, and kissed, that would tickle my back, that would lace with my fingers, are dead. I have mourned that, and will again, but I don’t think there is hope of her coming out whole from this.
Still, as has been pointed out by people in the know, the world of prosthetics are amazing. She’ll get by. As are miracles, which I would sure love to see. In the daylight, when its sunny, its easy to believe they happen everyday. At night, I lose that faith a little.
I still have no doubt that she will awaken, and that she will be my girl. That faith is currently strong. The resolve to have strength until it happens is there, but I have moments of weakness when it slides away.
Anyway.
This was an update post. Thanks for the candles, guys, that was a fantastic idea. I love you all.
I love you, BJ. I love you, my poor, sweet, stricken angel. Come back to us soon.
November 13th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
AT, it was the least we could do. For those of you who would like to light a candle (or more than one) go here:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=GAC
or
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=BJ
or
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=BJ%2FAT
November 13th, 2006 at 7:02 pm
Still hanging tight….
November 13th, 2006 at 7:06 pm
I know it has been said before, but where is Dr. House when you need him?
November 13th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Yeah, the candles are really nice.
Hoping for good news, willing to accept no new bad news.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
The waxing and waining are perfectly normal. Totally understandable.
Depending on how much of the fingers they have to take, she may be able to type pretty well - after they heal. Re-learning to type goes pretty fast, even one handed.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
I am currently watching Cars too. It was my son’s first movie in a theater (he is 3 yrs 7 months) and after the 400th viewing in a week, it’s getting a little old but he loves it so what can I do.
I’m so sorry to hear that the digits may have to go. If you need advice on prosthetics, let me know. My Uncle was the head of the Veteran’s Administration’s prosthetics division until Feb when he retired. He is a Vietnam vet and currently has a computer chip driven leg and a prosthetic eye. He golfs better than most able-bodied adults. He can probably even give you advice on how to help her emotionally deal with the amputations or at least tell you who could help. I’ll be more than happy to forward along any questions and ask him to contact you. He’s currently in AR helping my Grandma but has access to e-mail.
We had several weeks of inconclusive tests, it was infuriating. You watch those medical shows on TV and expect that they can just take these pictures and tell you exactly what is happening, but turns out they really can’t tell much until she starts to wake up a bit. Hang in there.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Watching Cars here, too!
November 13th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
So far, this is home viewing #1. 400 will be sometime next week
November 13th, 2006 at 7:34 pm
Hi AT, just wanted you to know I’m continuing to think of you and your family often. Hug your boys every chance you get. Praying for peace and healing for your beautiful family.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
Oh, AT. I am thinking of all of you tonight. Have faith. Have faith in the nurses, the doctors, in BJ, in the kids, your mom, yourself. Have faith.
I’m off to church for a choir rehearsal, but I’ll be putting in a word with the Big Guy while I’m up there for you, too. Not that He can’t hear me here in my house, but my focus is better there.
November 13th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
A couple of good voice recognition typing packages are Dragon Naturally Speaking and IBM ViaVoice. I have a copy of ViaVoice, and it would probably work well if I took the time to train it. It takes several hours of reading stories to the computer to get it to understand you well.
November 13th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
Well, I figure we’ll need BJ to train the thing to her speech patterns. I’ll get it installed and all. I was thinking Dragon, and hadn’t heard of ViaVoice.
November 13th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
I’m hoping she’ll wake up like her usual self too. I’m fully expecting to show you guys the church here (and any other Byzantine delights she wants to see), have you flop on our couch and have you be terrorized by our three cats.
Miracles do happen. Fingers and toes are great, but if they need to go, they need to go. The important thing is getting her back. I’ll be lighting another *real* candle for her.
November 13th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
I went to PSTCC in IDT, too. I could so relate to GAC’s post that you put up a few days back. It made me smile a little to read someone feeling what I felt a few years back. You are all in my thoughts, good vibes, prayers…whatever it is that may help. I don’t even know what to say to you all…take care.
November 13th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Re: voice recognition, on the PC side, Dragon’s Naturally Speaking is pretty highly recommended (plus it has a cool name). Stuff on the Mac side, unfortunately not as good.
November 13th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
I used to work with assistive technology and would be happy to look at some options and send them your way. VR has gotten very good and I would even be willing to write a grant to get the money to pay for the software. This is old hat for me. Just give me the go ahead and I will work it.
tg
November 13th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
My current boss was hospitalized a few ago due to kidney failure caused by an infection that is usually seen in young children (I cannot remember the name of it, but as soon as I do I will let you know). Anyway, his fingers and toes were also black and non-working at the time and they have since gotten better. I am not sure the severity of GAC’s fingers, but my boss’ were really bad. He has trouble carrying things still, but he is getting better and better.
Still praying for guys!
Amanda
November 13th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
AT, just wanted to say that I work for Hanger Prosthetics and Orthotics in Oak Ridge. I have been there 10 years last month and I have been amazed at the advances that have been made in prosthetics. One of our practitioners in Knoxville has been an amputee for over 50 years and I find his stories interesting. We have several brochures on amputations, what to expect, how to care for the prosthesis as well as the residual limb (in layman’s terms “stump”.) We are just across the street in Ridgeway Center if you would like to come by and check things out. Unfortunately we only have a prosthetist on Thursday but the pamphlets are always there. Our phone number is 482-3633 if you’d like to call and set up a time to just talk to him. As I’m sure you know, once your girl comes out of this, part of the battle is in the head. I have no doubt in my mind that she is going to pull through because she sounds like a tough lady and she has a lot of people praying for her. I wish the best for you and your lady as well as your children. Keep the faith, even when it seems as if you have none left. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your boys and her.
November 13th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Thanks a lot, Donna.
November 13th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
A group called Soldiers’ Angels was using Dragon NaturallySpeaking on the laptops they donate to injured troops needing voice activated software.
Keeping you all in my prayers..
November 14th, 2006 at 6:26 am
i …. don’t know what to say but i feel the need to say …. something. i am praying still even though i don’t know what the freak i am praying for. i wish for you and bj a miracle and at this point i really don’t think that is too much to ask for.
you all are in my thoughts constantly. may the sun brighten you spirit this morning.
November 14th, 2006 at 10:09 am
I just wanted to backup the recommendations for Dragon NaturallySpeaking. They just came out with version 9. I teach Keyboarding at the high school level and we’ve just added Dragon to the curriculum. With minimal training, you can get a rate of over 200 words a minutes with 95-98% accuracy. It’s also compatible with all Office software. If you use Internet Explorer, you can even use voice to surf the web.
My thoughts stay with you.
November 14th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
I also give Dragon a thumbs up. Been awhile but I think it still fairs highly.
November 14th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
I loved the candles idea too - I also lit one for her :)