Comments on: Almost time

By: Friend from Knoxville

Friend from Knoxville — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 16:36:51 +0000

You don’t know me, but BJ and I had a class together over the summer. I have been following this post for 2 weeks now hoping and praying for BJ and your family. I am so very sorry….please let me know if I can help in any way.

You have such an inner strength about you. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your boys…

By: New Orleans Friend

New Orleans Friend — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:07:48 +0000

Dear AT, I can’t even begin to express my sorrow for you. Please know that an entire cyberworld of people are with you and are praying for you and even though you do not know most of us, you can use us all to lean on. I am sorry AT, truly sorry. I hope the healing process can begin for you soon. Much Love, Les

By: Aimee

Aimee — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:08:26 +0000

There are no words. Sorry is so pathetically inadequate.

By: califdudes

califdudes — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:08:53 +0000

I am saying a prayer to God, thanking him for allowing you guys to be a part of my life. You have touched me and my family. Tell demama she should be so proud to have raised such a beautiful, strong, intelligent young man. My heart pours love to you and your boys, I know you will miss her very much. She has touched us all, through you. May God bless you all.

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:09:01 +0000

AT, I am so sorry. I am truly at a loss for words.

By: Joel

Joel — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:10:12 +0000

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;
Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

“The Lake Isle of Innisfree”
William Butler Yeats

By: Janice

Janice — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:10:19 +0000

I am so very sorry. Having gone thru a similar experience 3 years ago, I had hoped the outcome would be different.

You and your family are in my prayers.

By: mamatulip

mamatulip — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:10:30 +0000

I don’t remember how I stumbled across this blog, but I’ve been reading for about a week now, keeping up to date with your recent posts and delving into your archives with a Kleenex box beside me. I don’t know you from a hole in the head — hell, I’m even in the same country as you — but you and your family have been in my thoughts since I first clicked here.

My heart aches for you and your family. You’re all in my thoughts. I wish you comfort, love and support. I’m so sorry.

By: CMM

CMM — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:11:29 +0000

AT and Boys,
May your guardian angels hold you very tightly today and always. God Bless you all.
With Deepest Sympathy, CMM

By: Cathy

Cathy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:12:05 +0000

I am so very sorry AT.

By: missy

missy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:12:42 +0000

I am so sorry.

By: Kathie

Kathie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:13:10 +0000

Oh no. I’m so unendlessly sorry. Goodbye GAC. I never got to know you personally, but I truly believe you are a wonderful woman. AT, MastaG, Pigpen and all the rest of you - I wish you strength and love to get through this awful time together.

By: A Friend

A Friend — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:14:06 +0000

Tears are rolling down my face - I am so sorry!

By: Lynda

Lynda — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:15:17 +0000

Know that she will always be there with you, looking out for you and protecting you and the boys. I am so, so sorry, AT. None of you deserve this and it is just so wrong. Know that we are all here for you. Let us help you. We have all come to care for you so very much. Sending love and prayers your way…

By: Robbin

Robbin — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:15:21 +0000

Hold close the time you have been given together. Take care of your boys. Tell her goodbye and Godspeed from all of us who have been holding her in our heart through you.

By: Rylee's mom

Rylee's mom — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:16:16 +0000

AT - I have been so very touched by this story. Thank you so much for sharing this very difficult and personal time with all of us. I think you are changing people every minute. I have cried and prayed for BJ, you, and your boys. I wish I could do something more. If you need anything just let me know.

By: djuggler

djuggler — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:16:32 +0000

I’m sorry. May she rest in peace. May you find peace also. You are loved.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:17:37 +0000

Hold your boys tightly and remember her as the angel you knew. Heartfelt wishes for peace in your souls at this terrible time.

By: Deb

Deb — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:18:28 +0000

I am so sorry AT. May God keep you, the boys, and all your family wrapped in love and strength.

Godspeed.

By: # 9

# 9 — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:18:38 +0000

Our family’s deepest condolences for your loss. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.

By: LissaKay

LissaKay — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:19:07 +0000

I am so so so sorry. My heart is breaking. We are here for you and the boys.

By: MomTallest

MomTallest — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:19:19 +0000

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Blessings and love to you all.

By: Tonya

Tonya — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:20:41 +0000

Sympathy or empathy will never be enough for what you have gone thru and are about to go thru. I hope the strength you have shown can persevere in the days, months and years ahead as you keep her memory alive, while closing this chapter and writing new chapters for you and the boys.

By: katie allison granju

katie allison granju — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:22:04 +0000

My deepest sympathies. She left the world a much better place by mothering your wonderful boys so well. You and they will always carry her with you.

And know that your story has touched so many of us and made us love a little more deeply and appreciate everything…everything… a little more every single day.

Warmly,

Katie Allison Granju and family
Knoxville

By: Mrs. G

Mrs. G — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:22:05 +0000

I am so, so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:22:30 +0000

I’m so so sorry. Thoughts, prayers for you and your boys and the strength you have for each other and for her. Peace to you all - your story has touched my life even though we have never met and your faith and strength are remarkable. Stay strong, but take time to grieve in whatever way you need, and then hold fast to your many memories of a different time.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:25:16 +0000

So very sorry. Be strong and hold on tight to your boys.

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:25:19 +0000

Like the others, words cannot express. Your family is in my prayers. May God greet BJ with love, and wrap your family in his loving arms.

By: Speechless

Speechless — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:26:22 +0000

As a new “blog friend” I feel so helpless. Together we can make BJ’s wish come true to become the diamond that we all know she is. Since most of us know only cybernames, could a close frined or family member set up an account at a local Oak Ridge bank. My heart aches to do something for this wonderful family. TOGETHER WE CAN DO “OODLES EXPENSIVE”!!!!! Please help me to make this happen.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:26:29 +0000

I’m sorry AT, so sorry. Thank you for sharing this with the world, your words have had a lasting impact on me. I will continue to pray for you and your boys through the joys and struggles you have ahead of you. I hope that you find peace for you and your boys.

By: lisa in nj

lisa in nj — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:27:57 +0000

I’m sorry AT. I’ve been praying for you and your kids. Know that there is much support here for you and the little ones. May God bless you and hold you tight during this time.

By: Krissy Poopyhands

Krissy Poopyhands — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:29:16 +0000

I am so sorry. I am so very, very sorry.

By: Megan

Megan — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:29:46 +0000

AT, I know it’s been said, but I’m so sorry. Thinking of you and your family always.

By: Amber

Amber — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:29:48 +0000

I have no words. I just want you to know that my heart is breaking for you. You remain in my family’s prayers.

By: Mrs Eaves

Mrs Eaves — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:31:05 +0000

Bright eyes, burning like fire
Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly,
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes

By: jonathan hickman

jonathan hickman — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:31:19 +0000

AT. We’re with you.

By: Kristy

Kristy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:32:40 +0000

AT, ive been reading your story constantly and I am so sorry for your loss. Please hug those boys a little tighter tonight, I will be praying for you and your family.

By: Evan Erwin

Evan Erwin — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:32:45 +0000

I…there’s…

Goddammit :(

By: Tanya

Tanya — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:32:47 +0000

I found your blog somehow a couple of days ago and have been checking in ever since. I don’t know what to say at this moment and cannot imagine what you are going through.

My husband & I are the same age as BJ - you have been so strong through this whole thing, it is simply amazing. All of you are in my thoughts. Stay strong for your little ones.

By: Lynnster

Lynnster — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:33:45 +0000

Even though I never got to meet her personally, I am honored to have been able to know her thru your words and your great love for her. I am grateful.

The coming days won’t be easy. You will think you won’t sometimes, but you WILL get through it.

This has touched so many hearts all over the world now. She will live on through your love for her and through your boys, most definitely. But she will also live on through the hearts of all these people your words have touched by sharing them, her, and yourself with us all. You and your boys will remain in my prayers indefinitely. I wish there were more I could do.

By: Allisone

Allisone — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:33:59 +0000

AT, as glad as I am that she is not in pain anymore - my heart breaks for you and the hole in your life. Once again, anything at all - we’re yours.
I am so proud of the way you have shared all of this. What a wonderful gift to all of us, and a loving tribute to BJ.
Peace my friend.

By: Dan

Dan — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:34:14 +0000

I burst into tears when I read this today. I am not as eloquent as you are, so I can’t express how sorry I am for your loss. BJ is loved by so many and so deeply. I really do believe you will all see her again some day.

By: melusina

melusina — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:35:01 +0000

I’m so sorry AT. This is devastating news, so many of us had so much hope for her and your family. My thoughts are with you and the boys daily as you struggle through this loss.

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:35:19 +0000

Another lurker here who has been closely following your story over the past couple of weeks and currently cannot control the tears.

My most sincere and deepest condolences for you and your families. The love for your wife has shone through in every word in every post. I am in awe of you.

Please know that there is so much love surrounding you and yours right now and will continue to be for as long as you need it and probably even longer.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:36:00 +0000

You know what, I’ll ask my grandfathers to start up a welcoming committee. They’re good people. Tell her to be on the look-out for Nolan Boles and Harold Waterman. And my grandmother Myra, too. They’ll take care of her.
In the meantime, you’re doing wonderfully. She loves you and your sons. What a mother! What a wife! What love! What a treasure you’ve had. I’m so sorry this part has come to this.
You’re all in my thoughts and my heart.

By: RLGelber

RLGelber — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:36:05 +0000

Anything I could say seems so horribly inadequate. So, again, I will say, I’m so so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with me. As painful as it has been to read every day, it has been an incredible journey in love and pain. Peace.

By: Joe P.

Joe P. — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:36:05 +0000

My friend, I am without words. I continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts.

By: cmhl

cmhl — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:36:29 +0000

I am so sorry.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:36:48 +0000

I’m crying right now for you both and you children. I’ve been reading this for a couple of weeks, I have had the highest hopes and checked it every day three or four times hoping for the best. This post literally shocked me this morning. I just want you to know that I will think of your family for the rest of my life and keep you in my prayers.

By: molly

molly — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:37:57 +0000

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for letting us all in and sharing this difficult time with us. God bless.

By: realtorchick

realtorchick — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:41:15 +0000

I am praying that God’s grace is with you and your family and that you may find peace again someday. I am so sorry.

By: SandyT

SandyT — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:41:17 +0000

Dearest AT,
I can’t stop crying, trying but it is hard. Please know that my love and your team at work are with you, and our prayers will never stop. I was so positive that things were going to turn around for your precious BJ and you and your family. My heart goes out to both parents and your boys - and may God’s peace, strength, and wisdom be yours every minute. He will continue to envelope you in his love and grace for such times as this. You are right, you will once again be together. You have made so many friends during your time of sharing your heart, your sorrows, your joys with us, most of all your beautiful love that you share. Many of us can learn from you - We love you and are here for you my friend. I am so very sorry for all that you have been through. May God’s love and peace keep you strong in HIM.

By: sumgurl

sumgurl — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:41:25 +0000

… no … damn it.

By: Punk HP

Punk HP — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:43:25 +0000

Mitakuye Oyasin!

By: Eleadra

Eleadra — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:43:31 +0000

There are no words to express how deeply attached I have become to you and your family and how deeply saddened I am.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:45:05 +0000

Remember
by Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more, day by day,
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

You, the boys, and your extended family are in our family’s thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing this experience with us. I hope that you will be able to continue to share and that our being here will be of comfort to you.

By: sumgurl

sumgurl — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:48:55 +0000

bos and eaves,
you let me and josh know what we can do … let us have the kids - yours and theirs - for a day or a while or during arrangments. just bring all 5 of them over and we will take their minds off of it. give AT big hugs from me (on account of i don’t know him that well) and hug each other and love him and the boys for me … i am so sad for you all.
{sigh} so sorry.

By: TN Girl

TN Girl — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:49:36 +0000

I’m so sorry. I’ve been reading since 11/3 and praying for a better outcome for your family. I hope that you can all find some peace in this.

By: Valbee

Valbee — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:50:55 +0000

I’ve been reading your blog for the past week. You and your family have been in my thoughts every day. I’m so sorry that this has happened to your family. I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts. May you draw strength from the many people who are praying for and thinking of you all right now.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:51:32 +0000

AT, I’m so, so, sorry. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

By: VirginiaGal

VirginiaGal — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:51:36 +0000

Thank you AT for sharing your journey with the world. This destination is not what anyone would have wished for you and BJ (the boys, families and close friends, etc). Hell, we all wanted BJ to read this and know how much you loved her and how your words were able to touch so many people, and how so many people were praying/wishing/hoping on her and your behalf. Blessings and strength to you and yours. You will remain in my thoughts.

By: KCS

KCS — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:51:38 +0000

Although I have never met you or BJ, I feel like I know you both through your words. I have been keeping up with your blog, praying for good news each time I check in. I know how badly you wanted to bring the love of your life back home.

I am so, so sorry to hear this news, and I know that there are really no words that can provide much comfort at a time like this. But I will tell you that you and your boys continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.

By: cjskunk

cjskunk — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:54:24 +0000

AT - I am so sorry. BJ was an extroardinary woman. I feel privileged to have known her. Thanks for sharing with us. I have been touched by your words so many times in the past few weeks. My prayers are with you and your boys.

By: Gotploof

Gotploof — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:57:05 +0000

AT,

I am at a loss of words, especially ones (if there are such ones) that would make you and the boys feel any better or that help to take away some if not all of your pain. If you need us to be by you or the boys side this weekend we can come by. I love you and your family so much and will keep you in my prayers. :(

By: Tammy

Tammy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:57:40 +0000

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own dad 17 years ago today. I found your site through busymom, and have been praying for your family everyday. I had really hoped and thought there was going to be a different outcome. I wish I could be as eloquent as the other posters,but please know I’ll be praying for your peace.

By: jasmine

jasmine — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:58:21 +0000

I shall look as if I were dead; and that will not be true…”

I said nothing.

“You understand… it is too far. I cannot carry this body with me. It is too heavy.”

I said nothing.

“But it will be like an old abandoned shell. There is nothing sad about old shells…”

i am so sorry for your loss and i know that these words are not much but they are all that i have to offer as comfort. my offering is small. but my appreciation for what you have given thru your blog is endless. you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

(from the little prince)
from

By: Ericka

Ericka — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:01:25 +0000

I am so very sorry. There are no words to truly explain how very sorry I am. My heart is breaking for you and the boys. Please let me or Evan know if there is anything you need. I am so sorry…….

By: Judy

Judy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:02:49 +0000

Words will do very little right now, I’m sure. Know that you are thought of and we are all holding you in our thoughts and prayers. I’m especially praying for you and the boys.

By: sharon

sharon — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:05:28 +0000

I can hardly find a single word…I’m so, so very sorry for your loss.

God’s peace be with you and your family.

What is the internet good for if not to unite people, complete strangers, in thought and prayer? She has quite a community here - connected by your powerful words and her amazing strength. I feel so fortunate to have come to know your family in some small way from your writings here. May the many hearts with you this day be a source of some comfort in the days to come.

You have said a couple of times of the way you felt like God was working through her…I feel strongly that He must have been, but He has been working through and in you as well, and will continue to.

Psalm 34:18 - the Lord is close to the broken hearted…

By: Kranf

Kranf — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:06:08 +0000

Like the others said words can not do much now, but know that we are all praying and will continue to pray for you, the boys, your family, and your friends. We are just down the road in Knoxville, you all need something contact us. We are and will be here. We are not going away. Still praying.

By: Susan

Susan — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:06:33 +0000

I’ll pray for peace and strength for you and your family. BJ already has peace. I’m so very sorry, AT.

By: Jacket

Jacket — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:07:12 +0000

Condolences my friend. It is a terrible waste. Be as brave as you have been. This is such a terrible thing to happen for the unknown reasons. Take care.

By: Thumper

Thumper — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:07:39 +0000

I’m another lurker who has been reading along, hoping and praying and pulling for you both. I am so, so sorry…

By: Amalah

Amalah — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:09:39 +0000

I’m so sorry, AT.

Your words have been an amazing tribute to her. None of us who have read them will ever forget her.

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:09:47 +0000

I came across your blog two days ago. Yesterday was such a good day, I was so hopeful for BJ’s recovery. I was saddened to see God has called her home early. :( Reading through your posts I was so touched by the love story between the two of you. Know that you and your family are in my prayers.

By: Kim

Kim — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:11:24 +0000

I wish there were something I could say, but it’s all been said. My heart hurts reading your story.

A lot of us (strangers like myself) would like to help financially — I don’t think a PayPal link would be inappropriate.

By: Barry

Barry — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:11:52 +0000

I’m so sorry, AT. Stay brave for you and your kids.

By: meice

meice — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:13:59 +0000

It was supposed to just be a bad case of the flu. She was supposed to just get up after a couple of days of feeling like shit, hop on AT and say we were all making a big deal out of nothing. This isn’t what was supposed to happen!

She was supposed to get better, finish her beer chair and become a famous designer.

Her last words posted to the Shout box about not waisting away were not supposed to be her last post here!

This wasn’t supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to leave us!

We’re here for you and your family Jake and We’re more than shoulders, we’re here to help however we can.

God? He is the biggest bitch of them all.

By: Lea Overset

Lea Overset — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:15:27 +0000

That there
That’s not me
I go
Where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

In a little while
I’ll be gone
The moment’s already passed
Yeah it’s gone
And I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I’m not here
This isn’t happening
I’m not here
I’m not here

By: Pam

Pam — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:15:58 +0000

I had the precious opportunity to visit with BJ and her family this week, just yesterday. My heart and tears go out to her family. AT–we’re all praying for you and appreciating the candid words you’ve shared. May continued strength be with your family.

By: calmommy

calmommy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:18:07 +0000

I woke up this morning and the first thing that came to mind was to check to see how you and BJ were doing today. I just started reading this two days ago (went back a few months) and I can’t tell you how touched I am by the love you share with and for your wife, and how obvious it is that this is a once in a lifetime true love.

I’m so sorry for you, your family and friends…and your children. I have you in my prayers; know that there are many people all over the world giving thanks to you for sharing your story, and sending thoughts and prayers your way.

I know tonight I’m going to race home to give my family the biggest hugs & kisses, as our time together is so valued and appreciated.

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:21:18 +0000

AT-
I have been reading and keeping up with BJ’s status for only 10 short days now. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I had such hope, as I know you did as well. I am so sorry. I pray that your souls find each other and you shall be happy together again. I pray for peace for your children. I pray that with an excellent father like you they can continue to move on in the future. I pray that this didn’t happen. I am so sorry.

By: Melody

Melody — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:22:12 +0000

My prayers are that you and your family find strength and peace. Thank you for sharing your beautiful B.J.

By: jasmine

jasmine — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:22:23 +0000

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness,
but of power.
They speak more eloquently
than 10,000 tongues.
They are the messengers
of overwhelming grief,
of deep contrition,
and of unspeakable love.

- Washington Irving

you and the boys (hell your entire family and friends) are in my thoughts, prayers, heart…. wishing you peace, strength and overwhelming love in the days ahead. i am so so sorry.

By: Holly

Holly — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:22:34 +0000

I am so sorry.

Your family is in our prayers.

By: R. Neal

R. Neal — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:22:48 +0000

Condolences and deepest sympathies to you and your family from the Neals. We are very sorry for your loss.

By: tink

tink — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:23:59 +0000

Sending love, prayers, and all the strength I can muster.

By: Meredith

Meredith — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:24:12 +0000

I’m so sorry. So sorry. Prayers for comfort and peace.

By: robin

robin — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:25:25 +0000

I wish for you and your family peace and strength. I am so sorrry for your loss.

By: Deb

Deb — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:27:16 +0000

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

By: a visitor

a visitor — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:29:46 +0000

Count me in as one of the many ‘net strangers who found your blog right after this awful thing started. I’ve been following it every day and hoping for the best, of course. Your fierce and whole-hearted love for your wife has touched my heart in a way that is hard to put in words. Thank you so much for sharing these innermost thoughts. Wishing you grace, peace and strength from a fellow east tennesseean.

By: Exiled to Canada

Exiled to Canada — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:30:57 +0000

We’re thinking of you and the boys. We are so sorry for your loss. If there is anything we can do, please let us know.

By: Christina C.

Christina C. — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:32:37 +0000

I just can’t wrap my head around this. How a perfectly healthy 29 year old wife and mother of two can be fine one minute and dying the next. My heart is breaking for you and your family.
Rest easy BJ. May God walk beside you on your journey.

“Low lie the fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly
Our love was on the wing
We had dreams and songs to sing
It’s so lonely round the fields of Athenry”

By: Dusty

Dusty — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:33:14 +0000

Goodbye BJ, we love you and will miss you and your beautiful and unique personality.
See you in another life…

By: Stormare Mackee

Stormare Mackee — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:33:53 +0000

“Everyone is mortal, but I know one thing that never dies: The memory of a life well lived.” (Havamal)
BJ touched many lives, of those who she knew and of those who she never came to know. May her name and deeds be never forgotten, so that she might live in our hearts and souls forever.
My condolences to you and your family, and wishes of strength and resolve in the days ahead.

By: amy

amy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:34:39 +0000

I’m so sorry. I have been following this ever since you were linked over at Nashville is Talking and my heart just ached for total strangers when I read this morning’s posts. I prayed for you this morning and will do so again–that God will reveal Himself to you through all of this and give you the real peace only He can offer.

By: Kym

Kym — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:35:27 +0000

I am very sorry for your huge loss. From what I have read GAC/Bj was the most special person in many peoples lives. She has been called to another place and you will meet again. Be strong for those boys, live her through them.

God Speed to you and your family. Kym

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:38:10 +0000

I don’t know what to say. Still at a loss for good words. I just hope that someday it helps to know that so many people cared, regardless of distance. And that BJ’s experience, and yours, did affect others and change lives in small and big ways.

Congratulations on continuing to show grace and style through an unimaginable ordeal, and I hope it gets easier. Soon.

By: atypical

atypical — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:42:23 +0000

My son died nine years ago on this day. Now he may share his day with a beautiful woman. My heart goes out to you. I am sorry.

My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you and your family.

By: swan

swan — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:44:19 +0000

I was at the bedside of my mother, who I thought died before her time too. Believe it or not, you have been given a very precious gift being able to go through this, and you have in turn, translated it for all of us. thank you for communicating to all of us, and love to you and BJ and kids.

By: daco

daco — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:48:24 +0000

AT we have grown to love you, BJ and the boys. Your sweet wife will be missed.
We will continue to hold you, your boys and your entire family in our hearts, our thoughts and our prayers.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:48:25 +0000

You have touched me and my life deeply. Godspeed to you. I pray for your strength, and for your beautiful boys.

By: Bambi

Bambi — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:50:01 +0000

I am so sorry. Hold your boys close and cherish the memories that you have.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

By: Christina

Christina — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:52:06 +0000

Bless you and your family, AT - may you have peace and all the strength you need. :( :( :(

By: mrs. daco

mrs. daco — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:52:16 +0000

If there is any thing I can do please call. Im so sorry. Get those boys and hold them tight. Im so sorry. Im so sorry.

By: PLC

PLC — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 18:54:44 +0000

I’m so sorry for your loss. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

By: lmg

lmg — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:00:08 +0000

I, too have been touched by your devotion to your wife. I’m so sorry for your loss.

By: bennie

bennie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:01:21 +0000

I can’t add anything else to what has already been said. Bennie, Joan, Jessie, & Ben want to tell you we love you and will continue to pray for your family for a long, long time. We are so very sorry.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:02:01 +0000

Words are not enough. I have followed your story for the last two weeks. Daily I’ve checked for posts and your family is in my thoughts constantly.

BJ’s fierce struggle has touched so many lives, including those of my own family. Thank you for sharing BJ with us, total strangers. Thank you for sharing your life, your hope, and your unyielding strength. And thank you for sharing your pain.

I will never forget your family. Wishing you and your entire family continued peace and strength.

Carrie Patterson and the Patterson family
Atlanta, GA

By: ben

ben — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:03:17 +0000

Oh my god, I’m sorry.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:04:13 +0000

I don’t know what to say. Words are not enough. I began following your blog 2 weeks ago and have checked daily for updates. Rejoicing with you, hoping with you and sharing in your sadness.

BJ fought a difficult battle. Thank you for sharing with us, total strangers your strength, your love, your courage and your bravery. And thank you for sharing your pain.

You have touched all of our lives. And I thank you for that. Please know that your entire family will be in our thoughts. Wishing you peace and continued strength.

Carrie & Family
Atlanta, GA

By: indemom

indemom — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:08:33 +0000

Dear AT…I’m so sorry that I cannot speak…

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:12:04 +0000

I am so very sorry, AT. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

By: emily

emily — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:15:57 +0000

Sending lots of virtual hugs your way, and prayers for a peaceful heart for you and the rest of the family. I am so, so very sorry.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:19:41 +0000

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear wife. I just want to let you know you and your family are in the thoughts and prayers of many.

By: Whitney Knight

Whitney Knight — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:20:03 +0000

I am sorry to hear. BJ was a great friend. Again my prayers and with you.

By: Mrs Groovy

Mrs Groovy — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:21:43 +0000

I’m so sorry. I will keep you and your boys in my thoughts, prayers and my heart.

By: JessJustJess

JessJustJess — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:22:10 +0000

This Is truly heartbreaking.I am so sorry this has happened.You have alot of support AT.Many Hugs and Prayers comming to you,The boys and family.

By: Mary-LUE

Mary-LUE — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:23:22 +0000

Along with everyone else, I am so saddened by this news. Thank you for sharing with us this terrible journey you have been on and are continuing to go on. Thoughts and prayers go with you now and for many, many days to come.

By: DJ

DJ — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:25:17 +0000

Brother Jake,

I am so honored that you shared these days with us, and so inadequate to express my heartfelt condolences to you. I am so sorry you never got to bring BJ back to NYC. Maybe her spirit is here now, somewhere among the holiday crowds. Maybe you’ll bring the boys to see the Big Apple somday as you help them keep their mother’s memory. I never met your beloved BJ but I know I will remember her, and you, for a very long time.

By: sariebell

sariebell — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:25:20 +0000

Time takes care of the wound, so I can believe.
You had so much to give, you thought I couldnt see.
Gifts for boot heels to crush, promises deceived
I had to send it away to bring us back again.
Our eyes and bodies brighten silent waters, deep.
Your precious daughter in the other room, asleep.
A kiss goodnight from every stranger that I meet.
I had to send it away to bring us back again.
Morning theft. unpretender left, ungraceful.
True self is what brought you here, to me.
A place where we can accept this love.
Friendship battered down by useless history,
Unexamined failure.
What am I still to you?
Some thief who stole from you?
Or some fool drama queen whose chances were few?
That brings us to who we need,
A place where we can save
A heart that beats as both siphon and reservoir.
Youre a woman, Im a calf.
Youre a window, Im a knife.
We come together making chance into starlight.
Meet me tomorrow night, or any day you want.
I have no right to wonder just how, or when.
You know the meaning fits. theres no relief in this.
I miss my beautiful friend.
I have to send it away to bring her back again.

“Morning Theft” by Jeff Buckley

By: Maggie

Maggie — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:25:29 +0000

AT I am so very very sorry. Your family is in my prayers.

By: Pam

Pam — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:25:34 +0000

I posted this on the shoutbox and was advised to post for future use. (Thanks Meice).

AT has said to use theblueberryfarm.com address. A mailing address is on that site and mail, donations, etc. would get to AT and family.

AT we really want to help. I know it’s hard to accept donations, etc., but your pain and love have meant something to so many and we want to comfort somehow, some way. “I’m sorry” just isn’t enough. We have essentially fallen in love with your love for BJ and want to do whatever we can to ease some hardships.

You’ve made an impact on so many. Let us help pass it on …

By: Marilyn

Marilyn — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:26:10 +0000

Saying sorry seems so useless.
Saying you will always be together - is true - but just not the way you dreamed about.
Once when I went through a heat ache - nothing like yours.
A dear friend told me don’t ask why. There just will never be an answere that will help.
For every tear that is dropping right now for you and yours Let it help sooth you later.
Know at that moment in the future when you are not sure how you are going to make it we still care and someone out there will be having a thought and a prayer for you.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:27:53 +0000

I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain.

By: Anne

Anne — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:28:26 +0000

Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. I have been following your blog for about a week, and hoping and praying for you and your family. It’s obvious that GAC/BJ was a very smart and special woman, a wonderful friend, wife, and mother. I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

By: GBscientist

GBscientist — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:28:52 +0000

There are any number of platitudes and sayings, all meant to be consoling, that I could use right now, but things like that seem cliched and insincere to me right now.

I am deeply, deeply sorry, AT. I will continue to pray for you, the boys, and GAC’s soul.

By: toyfoto

toyfoto — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:29:09 +0000

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss.

By: Kyle

Kyle — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:30:50 +0000

My heart aches for you, the boys, BJ, and all the lives that were touched by this; not only today, but as this whole thing has unfolded.

By: Laundry Broad

Laundry Broad — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:30:59 +0000

I am so sorry for you and those boys. Sorry seems so pale. An old saying but seemingly true, death is hardest on those left behind.

By: Jane Plane

Jane Plane — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:31:19 +0000

So sorry. My best to you all, and strength to you for all of the next stuff.

By: William Worthey

William Worthey — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:36:05 +0000

I am sorry you know I don’t have the words that many of your posters have, we scots are brought up not to show emotion but I was crying today I never really thougth this could happen, but she will be so missed.

I had a hundred lit conversations with BJ before I ever met any of the rest of you, she was one of the first people I met when I arrived in this town. She was one of the folk that made me feel like I was at home here.
If you need to use my house for anything or need me to look after the kids for as long as you want or anything else within my power to give, you got it. If you want to talk later you got it.

By: Russ

Russ — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:36:44 +0000

AT, in the days, weeks, and months ahead, you’ll need to rely on the strength of family and friends. Take advantage of that support when you or the boys need it. You’ve also made an army of new friends here, all of us bound by your powerful telling of BJ’s story and your love for her. Don’t ever forget this: if you need any support from the anonymous friends you’ve made (whether it’s financial or otherwise), all you have to do is ask. Your new-found friends will deliver; I can promise you that.

I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting you or BJ; I only know you through your words on this site. But it’s enough for me to know that I’d be more than willing to help you in any way you need. You have my deepest sympathies, and I wish the only best of future days for you, MastaG, and Pigpen.

Strength, man. And love. Lots of it.

By: Lisapizza

Lisapizza — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:37:34 +0000

My heart breaks for you. I only started reading your site a couple days ago, but the love you and GAC share is amazing. And like you said - you will meet again in another lifetime. You are an amazingly strong person and I admire that you have reached out for support through this site. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family.

By: R*belle

R*belle — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:39:13 +0000

I just signed on and was so hopeful when I saw that there were 7 new posts. I know that words probably are not all that helpful right now, but my heart breaks for you and your family. I don’t know what else I can do for you other than pray for you and hope that you feel the strength of all our prayers and good thoughts and that God will lift both of you up.

By: deezee

deezee — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 19:40:07 +0000

I am a stranger who arrived here by word of another blog and have been lurking for the past week with frequent visits.

Your words and posts have moved me beyond comprehension. If strangers can reach out to one another via the web, that is what I’m doing.

I am so sorry for all of this. Truly.

I know this is a start of a new journey for you and your boys. I can’t imagine a more loving guide than who you have revealed yourself to be. For that, your boys are lucky.

Hugs.