Comments on: You guys aren’t going to believe this, but…

By: mary c

mary c — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 14:57:25 +0000

I spent some time reading the previous posts and comments and had a thought about blessings- that you were spared the decisions warring between BJ’s wisshes, concern for her parents and wanting to hold on to her. We are keeping vigil with you and for her.

By: GBscientist

GBscientist — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:06:20 +0000

Tranformers: The Movie just came out on DVD. MastaG might like that, or just grab a copy for yourself.

By: jules

jules — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:21:35 +0000

We’re still here with you, AT. Take your time, and take good care. Jules

By: Netmom

Netmom — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:25:50 +0000

The beauty will always shine through where you least expect it, because no one can take from you the imprint she made on your life. Yes, there will be pain, but her goodness will always be present as well. It’s part of who you are now, who the kids are, and a small part of anyone who knew her even a little bit.

Now, it’s up to us to carry that on.

By: Erica

Erica — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:27:46 +0000

Hi. I’ve been reading recently.
I have certainly never had to grieve something as hard as you are doing right now, but the last time I grieved something big, I remember that lovely, gentle, fabulous stage of shock and denial. Loved it! Found it to be a relief! So I say, enjoy all the shock and denial you can. The bubble will burst, you clearly are aware of that, but don’t apologize for being in the bubble.
I’ll be praying for you.
Erica

By: Atomictumor

Atomictumor — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:30:10 +0000

Nah, no apologies for the bubble. However, I will apologize for the cruddy formatting on the post. It made my geekiness cry. I fixed it.
Thanks all!

By: Cheri

Cheri — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:34:19 +0000

Still here in Germany thinking of you and your family.

By: DeAnna

DeAnna — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:36:09 +0000

I think that God has blessed us with a peculiar numbness to follow the death of a loved one. It’s like the people around you feel the loss and emotion, but you just can’t get there. You see the pain in their faces and comments and think - “Why them and not me?”. I also think that music is very comforting. It’s odd the way that an artist that you’ve never met can put your feelings to paper and music so well. Kind of like you have, AT, for the world on this blog. This morning when I first stepped out into the bright sunshine, my thoughts turned to BJ. I remembered the fog and clouds that have been around all week, and now there gone. It’s a new day and BJ has threw some sunshine our way. Thanks—

By: timsan1

timsan1 — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:36:43 +0000

Comp USA has a sale going on for your computer bindge delight as well as best buy.

By: Dee

Dee — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:37:34 +0000

Jacob, I may be spelling your name wrong and I apologize for that. No words I can say are going to ease the pain you have and will have. I can say that what you are doing with these postings is an awesome tribute to BJ and to the love you two shared. When I first met you two I was living in an apartment and you guys came over with Bobbi (I’m Navada’s mom) and Gabe was little and you put him on my waterbed to sleep. We made sure we had pillows all around him and he was precious. The thing that hit me the most (besides the height difference) when I first met you two was the love that you two had. For young people to have that love I I thought was awesome. I haven’t see you guys in years and haven’t seen the baby at all but I’ve tried to keep up through Bobbi. I’ve learned that there are things we don’t understand but that God has his reasons and one day you will be with BJ again. When my husband passed away on Jan 23 2005 I kept everything together as much as I could eventhough everything was kind of in a fog. It took until June for it to finally really really hit me. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the grief and when you’re ready to you will. It’s not something we can plan, it’s just something that happens. It gives me comfort to know that he is in heaven and one day we will be together. I still have things left to do here and when I am done and my time comes he’ll be waiting there, just like BJ will for you, with a “warm wet kiss” as the song says. One thing I know is that Calvin is in a better place, without all the poking and prodding and pain and I honestly feel BJ is too. the only thing I can say is that you and the children and your families are in the thoughts and prayers of a lot of people, those who knew you and those that didn’t and have gone through this with you through your postings. I pray for peace for all of you at this time.

By: indemom

indemom — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 16:05:18 +0000

You’re right, AT. It is all about the beauty. Thanks for reminding me.

By: melusina

melusina — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 16:06:27 +0000

I’ve grieved desperately for someone I loved before, but my grief came right away, and lasted so long that I became ill myself. You are one step ahead of all of us because you have been writing and sharing most (all?) of your thoughts and feelings on a day to day basis since this whole thing began - and it helps. Writing always helps.

I’m not saying grief won’t come, because it will. But you are grieving already in your writing, and I think that will help carry you along.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 16:15:30 +0000

I just came across your blog today via another blog and wanted to extend my condolences on the loss of your wife. My prayers go out to you, your kids, and the whole family. I’m sorry for your loss.

By: Mark

Mark — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 16:44:29 +0000

Grieve in your own way. My wife lost her mother earlier this year under similar circumstances (brain dead and finally removed from a breathing tube). Definitely better tio know they aren’t suffering but godddamned hard to take just the same.

I’ve experienced more death this year than ever before, (friend’s suicide, putting down my best friend of 17 years, and my wife’s mother). I won’t say I know how you feel and all that rot, my only advice, though, is to feel that pain.

Hang in there. I found out with blogging about my decision to put my dog down that there are a lot of people out there in the blogosphere who care, even if you never get to meet them.

By: Paul

Paul — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 16:48:30 +0000

AT, you have already shared much with us and that is incredibly thereputic for all of us. I am not a psychologist, but I know much of what Pigeon is going through from personal experience. The familiar and constants that are still within his reach will be his anchors. I believe that you are on solid ground to let him explore his feelings with those whom he is most comfortable. Just being there and available when he needs you is a gift that he will forever treasure…I thank God that he has you.

By: Cam

Cam — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 16:52:38 +0000

Thinking of you today.

By: Aunt Nun

Aunt Nun — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 17:06:34 +0000

I won’t tire of hearing about you. It’s one of the privileges of life. Write any time - tomorrow, or next week or in 5 years. I’m ready to make plans to come for the big bash. Eager to hear when. Love ya still…

By: SandyT

SandyT — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 17:13:10 +0000

Hey AT from home. You are so much on my mind, in my heart and in my prayers. I do know that when I lost my dad to Leukemia I was expecting him to make it through as well. I had a hard time accepting that he was gone, but I knew I had to be strong for my mom, my sister and family. It was about 3 months when it hit me and it hit hard. If it were not for my faith in the Lord I would have crumbled right then I think. The worst part was that it hit in my office at work. My office mates were great too and they came to me to give me comfort, let me cry which I didn’t want to do - but it was like a dam breaking - I later about 2 months later went to a couple grief meetings at Baptist Hospital which helped me, then realized that the Lord had prepared me in all I went through to reach out to some of the others that were there. I just went to listen and receive what I could to help me - but was able to give back too. You have given so much already in your sharing your heart and we all have been blessed beyond words - there is no doubt that you will also be able to reach out more once the Lord helps you during these times. We are all here for you my friend - God bless you - give your boys a hug for me ok? I know both parents are hurting right now - her parents for sure - my love and prayers are being sent their way too. We love ya AT.

By: newscoma

newscoma — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 17:50:10 +0000

I find myself reading your words and overwhelmed.
You really love her and that is so wonderful. I”m glad you got to spend the time you had together.
If you need anything from Hooterville (Weakley County, Tennessee) you got it.

By: hdc

hdc — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 17:53:55 +0000

Very smart to get help with the little one at his preschool. Reach out to the teachers there, the other parents. Keep an eye on that little guy too, make sure he’s drinking enough with all that throwing up. And don’t shy away from seeking help from therapists for the boys. You are so lucky to have the family there to help out too.

By: Califdudes

Califdudes — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 17:54:33 +0000

hi AT. you dont know me and you have never talked to me. im 15 years old and my name is Erin. I am Califdudes daughter. shes been telling me all about you and your wife and your kids and i have been just so touched. you have the bigest heart and you share it with all of us. your the toughest, kindest, strongest guy it will ever talk to. i prayed all day for you and your family. you truley do love her and she is very special to have had you. you have shown all of us that no matter how hard things may get its ok to talk about it and instead of being sad it helps to see the good things that may come and show your kids a good example. you truley are my hero, i am so glad i got to here about you thank you for sharing all of your heart to us. sincerely Erin

By: pigpen's teachr

pigpen's teachr — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 18:33:35 +0000

AT, I talked to your mom today. What an amazing woman she is! She was telling me how grateful you are to everyone who is sending their support via the blog. I want you to know how grateful WE are to you. You have let us in to your personal world of pain and love and made us think about how precious life is. Your strength has inspired so many and changed us in a profound way. Thank you for that.
Keep seeing the beauty and showing it to us.
love from PT

By: Jenn

Jenn — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 18:39:22 +0000

I just checked your site for the first time since yesterday morning…I know what it feels like to go through post traumatic stress disorder and have to raise a young child at the same time. From what I have read about you, I have a very strong feeling you will get through this well. There will be days when it is going to be hard, I’m not going to lie to you there. I’ve been a single mom for the last five years to a now seven year old. If you are anything like me you will even amaze yourself with your strength and ability to keep the train moving through the storm. When you give your sons hugs and kisses - know that they are her legacy. Hugs to you and I will continue to check on your blog often.

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 19:14:24 +0000

Still thinking of you all, especially Pigpen (I have a four-year-old son of my own, so Pigpen has stolen my heart just a little).

By: Meredith

Meredith — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 19:23:34 +0000

Glad to hear from you this morning. Keeping you in my heart.

By: Lynda

Lynda — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 19:45:34 +0000

I think In some ways, closure is a good thing. And the songs coming back to you? Definately a sign of healing. We’re all ready to take that journey with you.

By: Kathleen Marie

Kathleen Marie — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 19:46:42 +0000

This is a wonderful way to remember your wife. I would print all this out into a booklet for your children. I will be praying for you and your family. I can’t say I know what you are going through. I really don’t have a clue but know my heart and prayers are with you. Your love shines through and God is surely with you all.

By: emily

emily — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 19:54:59 +0000

Wanted to check in to say that you are on my mind, and in my heart.

By: Bluegrass Mama

Bluegrass Mama — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 20:07:51 +0000

I’ve been reading here for several days, but didn’t have a chance to yesterday and had no idea that BJ was gone. Keep remembering her beauty. I’ll be praying for you and the boys and everyone else who loved her.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 20:27:00 +0000

Keep the numbness as long as you can. Just remember that you have all these people out here pulling for yo and your family. Remembering you in my prayers. Said a really long one last night. It was really hard for me to go to sleep thinking about you guys. Peace be with you. flameslgs

By: The Bosphorus

The Bosphorus — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 01:19:21 +0000

The eyes to see… the ears to hear.