November 20th, 2006 by Atomictumor
Was spent poring through pictures for the DVD thing for BJ’s funeral/wake/memorial/whathaveyou. Its irritating that she had to die and leave me to figure all this crap out.
To that end, I’m surly. It might be getting to that stage of the process, but I’m getting irritated at people pretty easy. Grrrr.
Spent too much time in this empty house, getting stir crazy. I’m going to head out with my pictures, drop them off, and wander a bit.
See you later.
—
Wait, BTW, I just talked to Barleys, and we’re full on for 6 on Saturday. I’m looking forward to it. Wonder if BJ is…
November 20th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
All I can say now is you are a righteous dude.
You’ve heard it all. You will feel it all. Wish I could be at the wake.
November 20th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
hey, it’s fish again….. i talked to jenny earlier and she told me to tell youif she doesn’t get around to it. it’s just a thought. when you feel up to it, you might want to call social security offices up there to figure out how to get that going. i waited a few weeks after it all calmed down, so you may too. it is so helpful, after 3 yrs knowing i will always get that income. it
s social security survivor benefits. i get it for me, jada, and p-man. we each get 417.00, so it’s right over 1250.00 a month. which if i work partime, it helps. if b.j. pretty much ever worked and paid taxes, you should qualify. just wanted u to know. i was freakin’ over the finances too. it’s enough for me too live off of most of the time. fish
November 20th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Wish I could be there.
November 20th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Answer my email!
November 20th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
I bet she is looking forward to it, and to seeing you smile with people that love you and loved her.
November 20th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
I am such an Oak Ridge newbie … where the heck is Barley’s?
November 20th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Of course, this place is probably not even in Oak Ridge, but in Knoxville … where I am even more lost. Being a country boy is tough.
November 20th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
AT, something I learned in a college class once….The Kubler-Ross stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) don’t necessarily have to proceed in that order. Everyone is different and they will happen as they happen. :)
Another thing I learned about them (and this always makes me smile when I go through them and didn’t realize I was) is that it’s not just for the big things. They occur to some extent with everyday situations….
(denial) Oh, no way my laptop hard drive is dead. I don’t believe it. I’m sure it’s fine.
(anger) CRAP, I’m so upset. All of my family pictures were on that laptop!!!
(bargaining) If I can just get the thing to boot and rescue my family pictures, then I don’t care about anything else on there.
(depression) Waaaaa, it’s no use, my pictures are gone.
(acceptance) It’s alright. I’ll go get a new laptop and I’ll always backup pictures in the future.
November 20th, 2006 at 4:15 pm
Here’s a link to google map for Barley’s.
November 20th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Here you go tank.
http://www.barleystaproom.com/knoxville/
November 20th, 2006 at 5:19 pm
I wish that I could be there, but know that alot of us are there with you in spirit and in kind.
Take care,
Rebecca
November 20th, 2006 at 5:32 pm
Surly’s good, encourages people to take a step or two backwards. Not that it’s possible, but I hope you don’t hear some of the inevitable stupid things that people seem to need to say. Though one person’s (my) stupid is probably another person’s comfort.
Take care…
November 20th, 2006 at 5:36 pm
ok, it feels a bit weird leaving a comment, like I’m intruding or something but you can delete it if you like. I’ve been reading for a while now and I almost feel like I’ve gone through it with you guys although I can only imagine the pain you feel right now.Anyway, I just wanted you to know that by doing this, the whole blog thing, she;s touched the lives of people she never even met. She got into my heart and it aches a bit for you right now.
Sorry. I just felt I should say something.
November 20th, 2006 at 5:51 pm
Nonny, I think the words you wrote about touching lives ring more true than even you realize. Thank you for your comment. It’s just as welcomed, and greedily read, as any other.
November 20th, 2006 at 6:47 pm
I found out about you yesterday
I cant get BJ out of my head
nor do I want to
what a remarkable lady thank you so much AT for sharing with us
youve both really touched me deeply
my thoughts, prayers and love are with you AT and your family
blessings Jen from New Zeland
November 20th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
As many people have said before, thankyou for sharing your beautiful wife and friend. Thankyou also for writing about the last few weeks with such eloquence, having gotten here through a link, I have shared this blog with my partner and your love has really struck a chord with us (and made us talk about things you don’t want to talk about).
Your grief will be as unique as your love. Don’t expect it to follow a paint-by-numbers formula. Sure, this makes it harder for those of us who like to take control by planning (I’ve been there), but it doesn’t mean you are honouring her or mourning her any less than anyone else.
Thankyou. My thoughts/prayers/energy are with you all, especially AT and the kidlets.
November 20th, 2006 at 7:00 pm
We’re still strangers but I’m still here, thinking of you, BJ and your boys. My parents and best friend since childhood live in Knox and I’m driving down for Thanksgiving this year from Chicago. I won’t be at Barleys, but I’ll be in town and will definitely have one or two for all of you. Take good care. Jules
November 20th, 2006 at 7:15 pm
I want everyone who has read this blog to go out and record GAC somewhere in the world. Like the inscription in the concrete at the hospital. Then take a picture of it and send it to AT with your country/state of origin.
You have touched the blogosphere with your pain and the least we can do is show that we were with you in our own limited way.
“I am but a small stone tossed into the great pond of the world, but the ripples I create will echo long after I am gone.” Smudge the Philosopher
November 20th, 2006 at 7:18 pm
M,S,B, & D: That is a fantastic idea! I’m in!!!! Jules
November 20th, 2006 at 7:29 pm
What a cool idea. I can tag a spot or two.
November 20th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Go ahead and be pissy! You’ve got every right. We understand and will still be here when you get past the pissy part.
November 20th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Man, You and Your boys have been on my mind, since I found this link, from ROBBIN. I’ll be happy to tag a spot here in North BAMA with GAC. I lost my best friend, 2.5 years ago, and it sucks, just as much today, as it did, the day we lost her.. Peace and Love be with and sorround her whole family and all of her friends.
Timbo in Bama
November 20th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
AT, you mentioned in a post much earlier about GAC’s secret internet name being Radhya and how you couldn’t find any information about the name. You were right about her being Krishna’s lover but the spelling was what was preventing you from finding it on Wiki. The name is actually spelled Radha and here is the link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radha if you feel like immersing yourself in some Hindu mythology.
May GAC always be the Radha to your Krishna. Their love, like yours, is eternal.
[lifts beer to cheers]