November 21st, 2006 by Atomictumor
I picked up the guitar and played it, and now my fingers hurt.
I’m getting really, really irritated, at people that are warning me against things, like spending money, and looking out for kids, and what not.
Seriously, folks. Check this out. BJ is dead. I am in control of 90% of my regular functions of brain and emotion. I have been a broke ass dude for 10 years. I know how not to waste money.
I have been a father for 10 years. Right now, the only people in the world (barring a few) that have no chance of pissing me off are my kids. Yeah, I’ll get irritated at them, like I normally would, but the kids are being taken care of.
A lot of people seem intent on thinking that I’ll screw everything up because I’m not thinking straight or something.
BJ dies once. Thats it.
So, back off. Please. Thank you.
———
Well, that was pleasant, wasn’t it?
I guess my point is, what is sustaining me right now is my sense of humor, and my love for whatever. These things, where people mean well, but I’m seeing them as people steering me, aren’t going to fly.
I’ll take care of things involving this.
Period.
Haha, control freak!
November 21st, 2006 at 10:15 am
Whooo– wee
Sounds like somebodys found the anger phase?
November 21st, 2006 at 10:16 am
And, uh, this is a general complaint. Nobody take this personally, now.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:31 am
people gave me $ to pay rent for a few months, gave me $ to live off of, i guess b/c we’re so young, mid 20’s or whatever they think we don’t know how to manage it. i had been a single mom before i married paul, so yeah, i can totally see what u r saying. you’ll let lots of things go in one ear and out the other. BELIEVE ME- people WILL piss you off with their words of “wisdom”………………… that will soon pass too!!!!!!!! hang in there. fish
November 21st, 2006 at 10:33 am
No advice, good or bad, here–just thinking of you and wanted you to know it.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:33 am
Did you mean to look like Mike-D or somebody in your picture this A.M.??
So whatcha-watcha-whatcha want? I thought you captured the look alright…
November 21st, 2006 at 10:40 am
Dude, I had to do a double take. You look like a big-headed version of Biscuit.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:45 am
What make of guitar?
November 21st, 2006 at 10:47 am
AT,
I have only talked with you a couple times but the times I have talked to you have led me to believe you are a very strong, intelligent man and I have complete confidence in you making all the right decisions.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:52 am
Did you say a ‘big-headed version of biscut?’ That’s pretty dang funny.
AT, now not that I’m telling you what to do, but I say you take ol’ bullet downtown, if you know what I mean.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:57 am
Honestly, I don’t think those boys could have a better dad. They are very lucky.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:11 am
I’m sensing feelings of anger coming from you, AT. Why don’t you come on over, have a seat on my couch, and we can talk through this together. I’ll tell you what to do with your money, what to do with your kids, and what to do with your sense of humor, because you’re obviously incapable of making decisions right now. That’s what controlling little sisters are for, right?
November 21st, 2006 at 11:19 am
Well, *I* think that first of all you should…
Kidding, kidding.
People can’t seem to help themselves, they offer advice regardless of how sternly you stare and them or how politely you brush them off and then back over them in your car. I wish selective deafness for you.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:21 am
Control freaks rule the world. I should know, being one and all. I think we can all tell from your writings that you are strong and doing fine. It all seems appropriate, IMHO. Just wanted to say good morning. Off to work now.
Vickie
November 21st, 2006 at 11:22 am
Hey….I saw this http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com thought of you, don’t really know why. If it doesn’t pull up exactly as I wanted it to go to the one about domino’s. Check out the snake smuggler too. It is too funny.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:28 am
I don’t have any advice - except people will tell you all kinds of stuff ’cause they don’t know what else to say.
Anyway, I’m so sorry for what’s happened to BJ and to you and your boys.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:28 am
I’m a stranger, a widow at 28, with well intentioned assvice, I’m sorry.
WidowNet helps when humor gives way. http://www.widownet.org/wnbb2/
November 21st, 2006 at 11:28 am
Ya, I’m out of practice too. I’ve been wanting to play the “Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy” song, since BJ was the one who patiently transcribed the lyrics for me (”I told you I’d do it, but you didn’t believe me. WHY didn’t you believe me?”) by watching the Ren and Stimpy episode over and over. I can remember G, about 3 or 4 years old, dancing to me playing and singing it, those many years ago, when we were neighbors in the projects. (I’ve still got the transcribed lyrics, think I’ll dig ‘em up tonight and attempt HHJJ tonight on my 12 string…)
November 21st, 2006 at 11:33 am
I took it personally.
Okay, I’m full of crap - you know I didn’t.
I guess it is easier from my perspective. I just assume that you will handle things to the best of your ability. If you were to mess up, It wouldn’t be anything major, and you’re allowed to find your own way.
My job is support, dude.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:44 am
I was in high school when my dad died (he was a teacher there). Since all of my teachers were “friends” with my dad, they decided they needed to play daddy for me. I started dropping out of each class where a teacher would say, “Now is that what your dad would want you to do?”
“Screw you! You ate lunch with my dad 5 days a week and you think you know what he wanted from me?” I now know that they all had the best of intentions, but I was a rebelious teenager who had very personal memories of her father. I didn’t feel like sharing everything with all of the teachers at my high school.
They didn’t know how I felt! Just like most of us here have no idea how you are feeling right now. Go ahead and vent, we’re still here.
November 21st, 2006 at 12:22 pm
I know when my parents died I had advice on the little things like “oh you need to eat now” or “you need to go and look at the body to make it more real for you” or “don’t sell any furniture yet” or “you’re gonna have a breakdown soon and you need too” and on and on and on. Not big advice, but small and irritating advice. It gets uber-annoying, I know.
Hang in there. Venting helps. I’m a big believer in venting. I didn’t do it enough after my dad died and I ended up realllllllly angry. Do what you need to do.
November 21st, 2006 at 12:24 pm
” Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind, don’t matter.”
Dr. Seuss
November 21st, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Yep, vent a plenty, dude. I’m a stranger so you can’t piss me off (unless you start talking about how much strangers suck - d’oh! ;))
You know, actually, talking to objective folks - whose feelings I didn’t really need to worry about, since we lived in different towns and would likely not meet - really helped when I hit a bad patch a few years back (dad died, lost job, moved to new town sans friends, etc). The Internets rule. Glad you’re taking advantage of that stellar fact…
November 21st, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Uhmm….okay, so I have to ask…Heather, did you intend to put “assvice?” Maybe I missed something, but that’s pretty funny.
And yeah, I’m ok with going downtown. Oh, I’ll go downtown all day long. What?
November 21st, 2006 at 12:48 pm
I KNOW exactly where you are coming from. I’m 41 years old and still have this battle with my mother. She’s intent on telling me how I should feel and when I should feel it. What I really want to tell her is, “Back off! I feel what I feel and when I want your help by gawd I’ll ask for it but right now just leave me aloneIamnotyouandyouhavenotrighttotellmewhat’sinmyheartandinmyhead”
Complete with face turing red, spit flying, and smoke boiling from the ears.
Oh and Dr. Seuss totally rocks!
November 21st, 2006 at 1:07 pm
AT,
Do what is good for you and your boys based on your judgement. It is your responsibility alone. You will want the best for them and yourself. Through this whole situation I have followed it closely and realized you are pretty level headed in times of crisis. If you make a mistake, so what? A mistake in somebody else’s eyes may have been just what the Dr. ordered for you and yours.
Take the responsibility for the decisions and let it go with the nay sayers, it is not their problem.
Been there, done that, and believe me you can do it just fine. It appears you have so far, don’t think that will change. The best way to determine what someone will do is by their history. Yours in this crisis is in good shape.
November 21st, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Well Bullet, you better pack’ye a sack lunch ’cause you’ll be there for a while.
That and good call on assvice, high five.
November 21st, 2006 at 2:08 pm
Assvice is Amy ’s (Amalah.com) very accurate rendition of advice.
I’m sure she loves that it is being used appropriately!
November 21st, 2006 at 2:33 pm
Ha…
Bullet and Nodbob thought they were being clever…
Thanks for popping their bubble, VA Bluebelle!
November 21st, 2006 at 2:58 pm
I’m not trying to make any kind of point, just the word has ‘ass’ in it. Sorta like assimilation, or even better analogy. Yea, It doesn’t take much to amuse me. Besides, Bullet started it.
November 21st, 2006 at 3:53 pm
I was just seeing if she meant to put it, that’s all. I take back all my laughs. Not funny if it’s intentional. My mistake. [tips hat and heads off into the wild blue yonder]
November 21st, 2006 at 5:13 pm
Youve got a good sense of humour man :)
and by the way I like how you write you got a talent there shame it took this for us to notice it
November 21st, 2006 at 7:48 pm
Yep, assvice on purpose. I know Atomictumor has too many people talking in his ear right now, and that as a stranger my advice - no matter how well intentioned isn’t needed or wanted right now. I know that because I’ve lived it. At the same time, I want to offer an easy road to a community that understands a greater percentage of his experience just in case it is ever wanted.
And yeah, I found this through amalah.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:32 pm
I think “assvice” actually originates with Getupgrrl, author of the dearly missed Chez Mizcarriage blog. I know Amy used to comment there occasionally.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:47 pm
See, I dunno now, I think the advice of a stranger is as valid (if not more so) than somebody who knows me. Thanks, Heather, and the rest of you
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:47 pm
AT - people are going to say what they want to say when you open your world to them. Stay true to yourself and your family. Don’t even try to please or accommodate or pacify all these people out here in cyberland. But do try to remember that most are only trying to help you find your way, in their good intention sort of way. Mostly, they are just in cyberland and can’t control your mind or actions! And if they try to - well, you seem to have a good handle on how to handle them! : ) Les