November 23rd, 2006 by Atomictumor
So, we had a great Thanksgabing with my extended family and the Cemestos crowd (along with Eaves’ dad). We managed to score the basement of Bosphorus’s church, St. Josephs Stephen’s Episcopal Church here in town, with its bitchin kitchen, and Eaves, Mom, and Jen outdid themselves. Damn tasty food.
Thanks, ladies.
—
I’ve come home angry, for no real reason at all. Everybody deals with this kind of stuff in their own way, I suppose, but I’m finding myself getting pissed off at people who are dealing with it in a way different than I am.
I’m sick of this. Its a sick joke, and I’m ready to have BJ back. Either that, or get in a fight. And then get BJ back.
Nothing will ever bring her back. I’m angry because I’m going to forget the details. I’m going to forget exactly what she looks like. Sure, we’ll see pictures, but pictures don’t show you the whole person. I’m going to forget what she sounds like. I’m going to forget her touch and her scent.
Dammit, that really pisses me off.
What the hell??
—
Ahh, but thats just the turkey talking.
November 23rd, 2006 at 7:24 pm
You won’t forget those things, AT. To this day, when I smell Old Spice aftershave, I can feel my great-uncle’s soft, but slightly stubbly cheek against mine… and he’s been gone nearly 30 years. When I quilt, I can hear my grandmother’s voice.
The bad part will ease, but you’ll always have the good parts. You won’t forget.
November 24th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
What you are feeling is perfectly normal and understandable. But believe me when I say you will remember when you least expect it, a thought, a memory, a sound is going to bring back a memory of her. I still can feel the weight in my arms when I held my baby as she died and know what had 2 babies after angel and the weight i my arms wasn’t the same
November 25th, 2006 at 1:26 am
Just last night I had a very vivid dream about my aunt who died six years ago. I was upset when my two year old woke me because it was as if Aunt Peggy were really there. I can still here her voice and even that of my grandfather who died over 20 years ago. My sister has a chair of his at her house and if you put your nose right up to it you can still smell his smell! So don’t worry, you’ll always remember those things.