November 25th, 2006 by Atomictumor
Last night, I don’t know what time, but after I fell back asleep from my previous post, I woke up to that limbo state between sleep and wakefulness in a cold pit of panic:
“Oh shit! I haven’t talked to the neurologist in a week! What the hell is BJ’s condition?! Is she still in ICU? What the hell kind of husband am I?”
It didn’t take long to remember, and I was disappointed, in the same way you wake up disappointed from a really good dream.
There’s a grey sky this morning, and its 36 degrees. I’m still in the bed. I’ll go to BJ’s funeral in 2 hours. I think I’d like to go the GAC memorial handicap ramp first, in the cold.
I’ll wear a nice suit, I bought it for the Indian Wedding event we mobblogged last summer, lifetimes ago.
See you there.
November 25th, 2006 at 8:12 am
My thoughts and prayers will be with you all today.
November 25th, 2006 at 8:26 am
I’ll be thinking of your family today… As the British say, “Chin up…”
November 25th, 2006 at 8:42 am
still praying for you and your family!
November 25th, 2006 at 9:26 am
In the geography-sucks category, I won’t be able to grace y’all with my presence today… and if I could, I’d already be half an hour late. But I’m thinking of you today. And this evening. And afterward.
November 25th, 2006 at 9:43 am
I know that BJ will be there today as the people who love her share their experiences, some you already know and maybe a few that you don’t. You, BJ and your boys are still in my thoughts, especially today.
November 25th, 2006 at 9:43 am
I’ll be thinking of you today.
I have no idea how you are feeling right now, but all I can imagine is this is the last thing you’d want to be doing.
Sending prayers from the west side of the state.
November 25th, 2006 at 9:46 am
Just finished up a 10 hour holiday drive from the husband’s family’s house and the first thing I did was fire up the computer and figured I’d let you know that you all are still in my thoughts and prayers. Wish I could be there, but it wasn’t in the cards. So I’m sending good thoughts and stuff from VA-
November 25th, 2006 at 9:59 am
Thinking of you all today and every day.
November 25th, 2006 at 10:00 am
i wonder where bj will be today - if she will make her presense known or if she will take the backseat and just let the grief be done. either way you know she’s here, AT.
assuming all babysitting goes as once planned, we will see you tonight @ barleys … {nervous as it makes a full-blooded hermit like me}
peace be with you today … my thought and prayers are with you.
November 25th, 2006 at 10:01 am
The best way to keep yourself together today is to think of the funereal events this way: it is not about you, in fact, it’s not about BJ. It’s about giving other people an outlet for their grief. Focus on helping others out, and you should be able to muddle through.
My mom says the same thing about parties. If you focus on helping other people have a good time, you’ll end up having a good time without noticing.
November 25th, 2006 at 10:10 am
Thnking of you and your boys today.
November 25th, 2006 at 10:29 am
Thinking of you and your family today.
November 25th, 2006 at 10:51 am
Thinking of you and knowing you’re there right now…makes my heart ache. I hope you come home with a sense of love and peace. My kids and I bought white daisies this morning, and my kitchen looks beautiful.
November 25th, 2006 at 11:21 am
Peace & Love be with You, and the Boys and BJ’s Parents, Family and friends. Like others have said, this is about, memorializing, a great person!! May her soul, soar, and be well!
November 25th, 2006 at 11:22 am
AT, you and your family are in my thoughts today. Celebrate BJ. Her impact is far greater than anyone will ever know.
November 25th, 2006 at 11:26 am
Joining everyone else to say I’m thinking of you and your family today. This is a terrible story but maybe it’ll make you smile a little - last year we had a death in the family, and we all piled up North from NC and TN for the funeral. There were only about eight of us total, and at the viewing no one said a word, even though I think maybe you’re supposed to talk amongst yourselves? I’m not sure but it was completely silent, and then my mother accidentally tipped her purse over with her foot, and I tell you what, at that noise everyone in the room sure did look at the casket like Grandma was going to yawn and sit up. Which is totally crazy but that story always makes me smile, I like the idea that everyone mutually was like “Weeeell, stranger things have happened.” Anyway, enough of that, thinking of all of you guys today.
November 25th, 2006 at 11:27 am
Peace be with you and your family today.
November 25th, 2006 at 11:28 am
You are at the funeral home right now and I am praying for your peace and some comfort. I hope BJ’s mom smells the perfume … I hope you feel her presence … and I hope friends and family are able to get their grieve on and feel blessed to have known BJ.
Thank you AT for helping us lurkers and recent watchers get to know a little of BJ and the family. You really do mean a lot to many of us. As I said before, “we’ve fallen in love with your love for BJ.”
Peace be with you. Would that I could be there tonight, but I will raise a glass and toast with my friends your beloved BJ. I’m carrying the picture so they can see the magic between you while I tell them about the blessed time you two shared.
To BJ! Godspeed!
November 25th, 2006 at 11:41 am
I was outside doing some “saturday stuff” and I realized what time it was and thought of the “saturday stuff” you’re doing today….then I realized y’all are an hour ahead of us (I think) and realized I was late. Please know you all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!
~tonya
November 25th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Yep, I am late too. But have been thinking of you and your family all night.
God bless you!
November 25th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Thanks a lot folks. Today is a great day!
November 25th, 2006 at 10:38 pm
I had a similar experience to your neurologist story above. A few days after Anna died, Emma was making some god awful mess in the bathroom with toilet paper everywhere and water running and who knows what other goop. I’m on my hands and knees cleaning it up, focused on getting the bathroom back to normal when the phone rings. Some part of my brain said “Oh, good - it’s Anna”. When the rest of my brain caught up that it couldn’t be her since she was dead, I went numb. I was nearly disabled the rest of the day. Grief for me has been very oblique.
Thought of you all the way back to Indiana today. Even thought I might try to stop by and say hi since we were driving right by. But I mostly would have done it for my benefit and decided against it.
November 26th, 2006 at 1:35 am
You’re welcome anytime, man. I figure that kinda stuff will happen for a few years to come. Thanks, Jason.