The intarnets are turned against me!
November 28th, 2006 by Atomictumor
So, I’ve been de-hermiting this afternoon while trying to motivate myself toward making dinner, and looking at the bunches of places that have linked here.
What seems just barely less weird than BJ being dead is the fact that this weird little website is seeing some netty popularity, from places I’ve never heard of. So, I’ve been popping over to their sites, and it seem invariable that at one of the sites, some commentor will say that its a hoax, evidently because I don’t behave like a grieving widower should, and because I’m still writing. Oh, and because I’ve got a paypal donate link.
So, I admit it.
The whole thing is a hoax.
BJ never existed. I’m really a Nigerian prince.
I give up. You guys are too smart for me.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
Dang it, AT. And I thought those adorable boys were real. Man, it’s amazing how I can fool myself into believing what I read. I wasted a whole trip to Tennessee on a fantasy? Blogs, Puh.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Wow. Septicemia as performance art. Who knew?
Seriously, there are people who think this was a hoax? Got a link?
November 28th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Yeah, I don’t wanna call attention. If you wanna look at the long list, head to
http://www.technorati.com/search/http://www.atomictumor.com/
Thats one place. But the one that really brought me to it was a site that was just wondering if this was real. That, and some of the commentors on Fark.
Hell, I can’t really blame em, like I was saying in the comments of aforementioned site, I can’t believe this is real!
November 28th, 2006 at 6:16 pm
Prince AT,
It’s so nice to see how your English has improved since your last email to me. Did you get that bank transfer I sent so that your sister’s brother-in-law’s uncle can come to America. I’m still waiting on my part of that, btw.
What’s the hold-up?
Sincerely,
QoN
November 28th, 2006 at 6:17 pm
The world is peopled with idiots and somehow they all manage to find their way onto the vast tubes of the interweb. I blame AOL. So sorry to hear that Pigpen is having such a rough time of it, poor little fella. This has to be very confusing for him. I think you handled it well, much better than I could have. As far as “Not behaving like a widower” goes, they obviously haven’t seen people dealing with profound grief. Everyone has to deal with it in their own way. My wife’s mother locked herself in her room and only came out to eat and go to work even though she had a 14 yr old and a 10 yr old at home who needed her. My Gran started volunteering 60+ hours a week so she didn’t have to think about it and she started traveling to see everyone in the family as often as she could. My Grandmother traveled to Europe, Hawaii, Canada, Mexico and a few other locales in the 2-3 years immediately after my grandfather’s sudden death (massive stroke). Everyone deals with it differently. It sounds like you’re doing it your way and trying to put the boys first, I don’t see how anyone can blame you for that. Put up some links and your online minions can go bonk some virtual, troll noggins.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:31 pm
No, I don’t have any ill will towards em, I mean, nobody was like “AT, you totally teh scuk, j00 wife not d3d! lolzers”
They just seemed to express doubt. I mean, they’re probably not idiots, just a little close minded. Hell, I’m that way myself on all sort of things. Its all good.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:35 pm
LOL @ Deb! And to AT - what a bunch of bastards.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:38 pm
Actually, it’s kind of a reasonable thing to question for people who don’t know you. We are in a mistrustful society. I believe you. I was there. I think.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Don’t we all wish.
In a weird way, though, I have a feeling your beloved GAC would get a kick out of the the suspicion of doubt surrounding her untimely demise, and the absurdity of it all.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
Thanks for the link, but I don’t even want to read that crap.
Take care.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
Eh, those boobs weren’t the ones praying 24/7.
November 28th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
I’ve been mostly lurking since BJ was still in the hospital, grieving and praying for you and the boys. I gotta admit it–even though you’ve thrown in a lot of ironic humor already, this is the first time I’ve actually laughed out loud here. Nigerian prince, indeed! You’d definitely be asking for bank transfers, not Paypal donations.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
had i not known you guys i would have doubted the saga had i read it as a distant stranger but i wouldn’t have expressed it online because, well, i have boundries. and i know that the paypal stuff was intended for people who know you and know your story and who want to help with profound sincerity. maybe you are handling the greif well … maybe it is because you have a rock awesome support system here and blogging is (i believe) thereputic. i am starting to repeat myself … tis all good.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:04 pm
What? You’re a Nigerian prince?? I thought you said you were from Zamunda?!!
I agree with the above poster…somehow, somewhere, BJ must be getting a kick out of this.
Hang in there and keep talking. You honor her memory with every part of the life she shared with you.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
I addressed one of those nonbelievers in the comments section of another blog I frequent, I think it was the day you had given the obituary to the papers. I basically gave the papers’ URLs and said look for the obit printed tomorrow or Thursday if you don’t believe it, blah blah blah. I know it was likely a worthless effort but that was one of my daily blog haunts and dude just annoyed me. Bottom line, they’re just trolls like any other troll, really. Bad apple in every sea of a thousand or so good folks.
Have a good one, amigo.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
Well if it was a hoax, who was it I saw at Bos’ b-day party? I must have inhaled something on the way over that tweaked me out. I think people watch too much tv and read too many James Patterson, Agatha, and Coulter novels. Although, someone did steal my wife’s ebay account and made some pretty pricey bids on her dime. Was that YOU AT?! Crap nuggets! I should have know that was a blow up wife you were with! And the robo-kids too. So life like. It was like seeing ET only no aliens. I bet you have a see and say that can do more than just see . . . and say. Tricky man you are . . .
November 28th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
Can somebody please tell me my life is one big hoax, you know….just one big HAHA! I think I’m the Queen of England but can’t get through to the Royal Palace. Can anyone confirm this for me, that who I think I am I really am? (my head hurts)
November 28th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
My dad has a close friend who was caught by the Nigerian scams. Twice. After draining him of somewhere more than a million dollars, they named a scam after him. His very own scam. THAT’s respect.
The internet is a crazy place. Some people can’t deal with it, when it gets too real.
This place is good, it’s real.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:44 pm
I won’t say I’ve “enjoyed” reading what you’ve been writing because I am so terribly sorry that you lost your beloved wife, but I will say that I’ve related to it. I haven’t lost a spouse, but I lost my mom a few years ago, and there have been many times as I’ve read what you’ve written that I’ve nodded my head and remembered feeling exactly the same way. It was when life went back to “normal” that it finally got to me. We all grieve differently and just because you are not grieving the way someone else thinks you should, does not make your grief any less real. On top of all that, you’ve got to be strong for your kids. I honestly appreciate your candor and openness about all that you’ve been feeling. Hoax schmoax - some people are just stupid.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:53 pm
I’m so sorry people doubt you. If they doubt you, then they should not read you. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that crap while your dealing with your grief. Your grief is your grief, you will deal with it your way. There is no right way or wrong way to deal with death. Take care and hug those boys extra tight tonight.
November 28th, 2006 at 7:58 pm
You know, when people come into the library they always have something to say about there geneology. People are aways related to the knights of the round table, one of the framers, some nobleman we never heard of . . . No one ever comes out and just says they are related to a family of whores from 1456 London — on the west side. Now, my people, they were true Irishmen — they made beer for a living, fished, and built a Methodist Church.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:07 pm
LOL ever heard of New Zealand AT
November 28th, 2006 at 8:09 pm
So, that’s why your wear all those colorful duds and that crazy hat! Who knew? Here’s my bank acccount number, take what you need: 8675309.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:26 pm
Well now, I just have to say it. Your remarkable talent in telling a story makes the truth read like fiction. So their unbelieving is a compliment to you. And your honesty in your love for BJ and your family is a compliment to them. Okay, I am done with the nice words. Saying them makes me squeamish.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….”Be who you are and say what you feel, cause those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.”
Dr. Suess
November 28th, 2006 at 9:22 pm
Oh, puh-lease…
I am in Knoxville right now (actually Lenoir City to be specific).
Shall I drive up and take a picture of you with BJ’s urn and post it on my blog to “authenticate” you?
Nah. They will only assume that either 1) I am in on it , or 2) that you are holding a flower vase from Hallmark.
Sorry for the sarcasm and lame attempt at humor.
Peace to you and the boys.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:30 pm
Me? I keep lurking around but really I’m just waiting for the book.
-You’ve got the perfect attitude AT.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:44 pm
Robbin, its really more of a box, with a clock on it. And BJ’s folks have it, cuz I think having dead wifey ashes around really isn’t me. I mean, it certainly isn’t her, and she’s just as dead whether I have the stuff or not. Like I said before, it’d be like keeping her urine in a jar or something… nooooothanks.
November 28th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
AT - you rock! I only hope and wish I could have your stamina and fortitude if I am ever faced with such an event in my life. Keep believing in what you believe in and don’t worry about what the others are saying (like I have to tell you that).
Take care,
November 28th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Darn it BusyMom!!
Now I can’t get that stupid stupid song out of my head.
Darn you and your subliminal 80’s one hit wonder messages.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:06 pm
You know what AT?? Those people are lacking for blogging material and are in desperate need of some controversy…WHATEVER! And unfortunately, Karma will kick their asses one day, and you’ll have the chance to gloat. Let them think what they want, and hell, if you can make THIS stuff up, you ought to be writing novels and producing movies. Seriously! Anyone who can move people the way you have over the past month or two would surely deserve an Academy Award.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
Yeah, I bet you really wish it were a hoax and you weren’t going through what you are. I know that you can only wish this were a dream and you would wake up. People are crazy. I really like your earlier blog about you and BJ’s earlier married life. My sister and brother-in-law got married when they were 15 and 17 and had their first child not long after. They went on to have two other and were married until my brother-in-law died when he was 41. So they are another couple that weren’t suppose to make it. Keep up the good memories and thanks for sharing. flameslgs
November 28th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
I am the doubter of all doubters and NEVER once did I doubt you or your situation. Unfortunately in today’s society the idiots that make snap decisions are the ones that live life in a snap. Your loss, grief and life are YOUR business. I had a similar comment about not being the “grieving” daughter and more nasty than you can imagine. Grief is your emotion, it is not canned, boxed, or neatly wrapped in a package.
Stay the way you are and keep loving your boys. I am sure Mrs. B.J. is watching down with pride.
Kym
November 29th, 2006 at 12:21 am
Amazing.
I guess they’ll always be people out in cyberworld who always question, but they probably question everything in the real world as well.
You are real. Unfortunately your loss is VERY real, but remember that most of us people here are real as well. And our feelings are real. Take good care, AT. Focus on the real. We are here for you. xoxo
November 29th, 2006 at 1:00 am
I’m a lurker. I’m also a skeptic by nature.
Six months ago, Myspace.com blogshere was taken in by a hoax death, Silver-Jouie Goy. I wont go into details, but luckily there was no money involved. There were at least 300 people who could have easily been scammed into donating to a paypal memorium account in that situation. Scams tugging at the heart strings are too easy in the cyber world we live.
When I came across this blog from Dan Renzi, my first reaction was Bullshit. Especially seeing the memorial donation requests on other blogs - that just sent up a red flag. Then I did my research. I’ve seen enough in this situation, in the way of photo’s, other blogs, zaba search and even a video online, that this life and death is indeed real. IMO, it would take too much effort to create a community scam of this magnitude. With a little research, the skeptic will become a believer.
Obviously, anyone ANTI-skeptic has to look at it from another point of view. A blog is just words. Anyone can make up additional screennames, email addy’s and even steal photos (ie. Silver Jouie scam), to make a blog seem real. Most people are trusting and will believe any sad story without questioning…thusly opening up their purses. Skeptics…true ones anyway, aren’t saying don’t have a heart…just open your eyes/ears and mind.
Some people are just mean, which is another story.
AT, sorry for your loss.
November 29th, 2006 at 6:39 am
I read you and GAC for the last few months after finding comments left over at Cup of Joe Powell’s abode on the innertubes.
I knew this was real.
There was never a doubt.
November 29th, 2006 at 7:18 am
Ahh and one more thing, I bugged and I mean BUGGED Mrs. Eaves about the paypal link. I sent to the farm, but I wanted to send again and had others on my blog asking why they couldn’t just send to paypal. I think everyone should know right from the start AT did NOT want donations or a paypal link.
I am not related or affiliated with AT or BJ or anyone else. I am a reader of BusyMom.net and discovered this, and haven’t been able to pull myself away. It’s just a shame people are the way they are mistrusting.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:21 am
Jacob,
My name is Glenn Shelton . We came over to your house to visit you and yourt family.Ruth is my wife, were friends of B.j.’s from high school. I am So thankful to read how you are doing. If you need anything feel free to call . We are in the phoine book in Knoxvegas.
Sorry I haven’t responeded sooner but I just found out.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:30 am
Well the whole story does sound like science fiction. I mean,how can a beautiful,living breathing 29 year old wife and mother of two be upright and fine and psyched for trick or treating one month ago and dead from ???? now?
.
People you can’t make this stuff up.
“Give me something to believe in.”
For all you poisioned minds out there.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:53 am
My Granddaddy was sure that the 69′ Moonshot was filmed in Hollywood. A student at my University said the Holocaust was fake. There will always be doubting Thomas Types and Idiots.
November 29th, 2006 at 10:50 am
I believe you AT! I don’t believe in God, admittedly, and if I did I would have some pretty fierce complaints about the short end of the stick that you and BJ got. But as for your story itself, it rings so true that it sometimes feels more real than the room I’m sitting in.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:00 am
Hey Zapaper. Nothing wrong with complaining to God. It’s called prayer.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:03 am
Well, you know what they say, it’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you. It’s just odd being on the “they” side of that, to realize that other people out there think that you are the amorpohous “they” looking to scam them out of emotions and dollars.
There’s a woman out in Arizona-ish, Asia Carrera - if’n you’ve got any familiarity with the porn world, you might recognize her and in fact know her better than most of your closest friends, in some ways. Anyway, she’s smart and funny and fertile, and was midway through her second pregnancy (by her husband, who seemed to help her make a happy family, whatever that means) when her husband died in a car accident. I can’t get over the number of people who accused her of making it all up, who insisted that she post the death certificate, and so on, and so forth. She was able to invite them to take a flying leap… but just the gall of asking was amazing to me.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:03 am
Then you wait and see what God says back to you. There has been much beauty in what AT and GAC went through, along with the pain. Pain is part of life. Like pigpen says when he is playing “…We can’t go over it…We can’t go under it…We can’t go around it…We gotta go right through it.” It’s nice to have a God to talk to about it.
November 29th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Sheesh…
But I’m pretty sure Paul really died back in the 70s. (Oh yeah, you’re a little young for that one). Doubters will happen, but so will the rest of us. Stick with the rest of us!
November 29th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Anyone who thinks you’re behaving as if you haven’t really lost anyone has OBVIOUSLY never lost anyone themselves.
People suck. At least you’re approaching their doubt with humour. :P
November 29th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
What I want to know is how exactly is a grieving widower supposed to act? Are there rules?
Maybe I’m biased because I’ve been coming here for awhile, so I already felt like I knew you guys, but I don’t see how anyone can read from those two weeks of archives while BJ was struggling between life and death and not believe it was real.
Right now, I’d be happy for it to be a hoax, if it would bring BJ back to you.
Hang in there AT.