November 29th, 2006 by Atomictumor
So, I figured that after that dream involving the pizza place, it’d only make sense to have dinner at Red Lobster, which is where the kids unanimously decided to go (last time I let THEM pick).
So, we headed over. Turns out, Pigpen had been asleep on the couch roughly the same amount of time that I was, so he was in a peachy little mood (still is, he’s jabbering to me right now as I type this, “He’s my daddy, tyrannosaurus, I love him on 6 times! Let me tell this story…” and then proceeds to tell another story… I’m gifted with the ability to pay attention, nod at the pertinent parts, make eye contact, and still type with few spelling mystakes). We shoe-ed up and headed over to the R.L.
When we got there, we were shown to a table. The waitress said “Boys night out?”, and I told her thats pretty much every night these days, with a smile. I wonder what she made from THAT?
Once she left, MastaG, having received a childrens menu, started up.
G: “Now, this is getting on my nerves, why is it that they just ASSUME that I want a kids menu, with the cute little crayons and ‘oh boy, I’m just a little baby, I want to color wah wah wah’. I’m a MAN, and I need a MAN’S menu!”
Me: “Uh… OK. I guess you’re 10, and you’re man-er than most 10 year olds these days, so OK. Works for me. Hell, I’ll even buy you a real meal, punk”
G takes the adult menu, looks it over, selects the Shrimp and Steak meal. Fully 4 dollars more than the salmon kabobs I ordered. We strike deals, leftovers go to me, if he wastes the food, no more adult meals until 11.
G: “Now, look at this little plastic cup. Why did they just ASSUME that I want a little plastic cup, with the little baby lid? ‘Oh no, little baby might spill the drink, wah wah wah’. I’m a MAN, and I need a MAN’S cup!”
Me: “Whatever. Seems to me that the drink tastes the same either way”
G: “Zacob, you don’t know, do you?” (He has a habit, over the past 5 or so years, of calling me by my first name, Bart Simpson style, when talking down to me like that. The J ends up with a Z sound)
Me: (Noticing “Good Day Sunshine” playing) “So, can you tell me who this is?”
G: “Beatles.”
Me: “Dang son, you’re pretty good!”
G: “Zacob, I have a lot of experience with this band.”
—
Pigpen and I went to the bathroom, and when I got back the waitress was bringing his plastic cup back, and replacing it with a glass one. I told her that she didn’t have to feel obligated to cater to a punk kid, when G was in earshot, and she smiled.
MastaG ate damn near the entire steak, but didn’t care for the shrimp, which pretty much goes with what the Vegas oddsmakers were calling. We had a good meal. Pigpen behaved himself, ate his chicken (off the kids menu) well, and appreciated the crayons.
MastaG, while still being a MAN, didn’t feel quite up to the manly responsibility of taking care of the check…
November 29th, 2006 at 8:26 pm
too funny - sounds vaguely familiar; dining out at one of the fine BBQ establishments in our rural parts of the county and my oldest orders her BBQ sandwich with great authority and then surprises us all and throws in an order of beans (very matter of factly and with a bob of the head as if to say that will be all). Hubby and I look at each other with the “well there you have it look” and we both could tell the future. Sandwich is gone and she is picking at the beans…not very enthusiastically. We are hitting each other under the table as we encourage her to eat more of her beans; she gulps almost audibly and tries to eat some more beans….and if that weren’t enough the waitress comments “are those beans good sweety”, like pouring salt in the wound. Needless to say she won’t be ordering beans again for awhile!
November 29th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
ahhh… your first glimpse into life with a teenager. Let’s hope the for-real part is still a few years off.
Never. Show. Weakness.
Of course, now you have grounds for expecting him to BE A MAN and take out the garbage, mow the grass, or whatever else you think the second man of the house ought to be doing. ;)
November 29th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Very funny stuff! Every day is different with kids and THAT is what makes it worthwhile!
November 29th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
cheddar garlic whatever biscuits! the only thing that really drags me to RL.
maybe when mastaG turns 11 he’ll be manly enough to grab the tab :)
November 29th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Oh gosh…my dtr is 9 and, being a girl, has been pulling that crap for about a year now. I try to get her to split a meal with me so she can eat a “grown up” meal, but NOOOOOO she has to have it all to herself. Sometimes she even eats close to all of it. Oh well, at least she will still agree to eat at the same table as me…
Glad you and the boys had a nice meal out.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
I took my oldest to RL and while I was in the restroom he placed my order for me and ordered the lobster meal for himself!! He was 10 at the time. He ended up not liking the lobster.
It sounded like tonight was a nice treat for you guys.
November 29th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
Good for you guys. I have gone through the I’m not a kid anymore thing multiple times. It seems to happen at a younger age w/each kid .. but yea, I haven’t had one accept the check yet … when does that happen?
November 29th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
Fine rendition of the evening Zacob. Hee.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:00 pm
I love it! what great adult conversation you had with your just-turned-10yo.
great story of your threesomeness.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:23 pm
I love your kids. Too funny! Pigpen was adorable holding his ears at BJ’s wake.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:30 pm
My FIVE year old is already insulted by the kiddie cup and wants a glass one! My 11 and 12 year olds are insulted by kiddie cups, but they still like to play the games on the kids’ menu. We go to IHOP a lot (one free kid meal for each adult meal, which works out to a super deal for a family of seven!) and when Emily stays home (at 15, she tends to want to do this a lot) the boys get to take turns getting the third adult meal.
Glad you and the boys had fun. G sounds like a real character.
November 29th, 2006 at 11:38 pm
Oh my! Is this what I have to look forward to? LOL
It actually sounds like a wonderful dinner!
November 29th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
Good for you for educating your children in classical music…mine can identify Skynnard, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Rolling Stones, Queen and several others.
November 30th, 2006 at 12:16 am
Hey AT!!
Sorry I haven’t been here to read and visit for a while as I was dealing with my own mundane tasks and such, though I know a heapin’ pile of net-tubes neighbors have been keeping you with much company.
Truth be told, it got really tough to be here, too many deaths in my own world and BJ’s just weighed me down too. But the world keeps turning.
And seems whenever I do read your thoughts and posts, as I’ve been doing tonite, your words are most compelling and am thankful for what you write as well as what BJ wrote, even if our meetings are always here in the digital plains.
I was doing OK, marveling at some of the writing, and then I read the post about the talk with Pigpen and him being mad as his mom and wanting to help bring her back. I crumpled like a cheap cardboard hat.
Still, I marvel at his honesty and yours. Rest assured that when I spent some holiday time last week with my family and nephews and all, I made extra sure to let them know I loved them.
Weird too, how small (seemingly) moments like demanding the Man’s menu and conspiring to share musiclal knowledge somehow take a much larger space and become something else. Last year, my nephew, who was 5, took me aside during the thanksgiving visit to show me his book on The Odyssey and explain the story to me, little aware that it’s my favorite story. This year, I taught him how to make fart sounds with his mouth and he told me I was a mess. He’s probably right, heh heh. But I know all I have are short visits with him, that the hard-ass work of parenting that is being done truly has my admiration. As do you.
Best to you and the kids.
November 30th, 2006 at 6:51 am
had you said to the waitress with the likely innocent “boys night out” comment “their mom just died” she probably would have thought you were being a smart ass (like those interneters who claimed you were scamming) and she may have hocked something in your drink … i would have nodded, too.
a friend of mine had 3 boys and finally was pregnant with a baby girl. but at 8 1/2 months along the baby had stopped moving and she was still born. a few months later their family was traveling and while ducking into a reststop bathroom and elderly lady tilted her head at the row of little boys and said “aw! but where your little girl?!” and my friend burst into tears … the lady had no clue what she had said.
November 30th, 2006 at 6:53 am
I can just hear MastaG’s voice in my ears. I wish I could actually get to know that little punk! Every time we’re around him so is K-Kat, so I don’t know if he and I have ever actually had a conversation. I know he’s cool because you’ve been relaying stories forever, but I’ve yet to see it first hand.
November 30th, 2006 at 11:18 am
That’s great! Damn, I wish they still had a RL around here. They closed the one close to me and turned it into a Resturant 99. At about that age is when my parents started taking us only to the all you can buffet resturants.
November 30th, 2006 at 11:33 am
I am embarrassed to say that G knows more about music than I do. And I nearly wet myself laughing at this post.
November 30th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
oh my god, too funny! G sounds like my 10 yr old, down to the tone I could detect! wah wah wah! you have to admit though, he has had to deal with some mighty hefty adult issues in the last month and I bet he does feel more gorwn up than he did a month ago. sweet child. you go on and let him be a man! I bet he was proud to have that glass and adult menu! although we are NEVER too old for crayons! ; )
November 30th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
oh yea, I play the “who is it” with songs all the time. The teen has jst gotten programmed to say a) Zepelin b) Stones or c) Bowie. She is Beatles ignorant. Ignorant child!
November 30th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
My son just turned 11 and has gotten into the charming habit of pouting whenever we tell him he’s to order off the kids’ menu. Punk kid is right, LOL!
November 30th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
You tell G that I still ask for the crayons occasionally.
And I’m in my late 20s.
November 30th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
My son just turned 8 and I had not even thought of any of this, even though he always disregards the crayons and asks to borrow a pen from my purse. What a great conversation!
November 30th, 2006 at 9:57 pm
MastaG is Awesome! Good for him knowing what he wants and asking for it. Good for you for letting him!