November 30th, 2006 by Atomictumor
Its hard to admit that you’re lonely when you have tons of family and friends, and everybody comes to your dumb little website frequently to say friendly things, but its true.
I suppose this surprises nobody.
I think thats something else that I haven’t started coming to terms with, and something that’ll potentially be worse than the knowledge that BJ is dead, is that I’m alone. Single. Kids are great, but I don’t want to lean on them for companionship, they’re kids, and it wouldn’t be fair. Yeah, we’ve always had a very buddy relationship (particularly me and MastaG), but I’m always careful to keep it on a kid level with them.
Hmm…
Yup, this sucks a little.
Ah well. I guess I’ll just keep busy. Time to get the boys up.
November 30th, 2006 at 7:47 am
Well the rest of my email or blog or whatever didn’t come through, so please write.
November 30th, 2006 at 8:22 am
Feeling lonely in a room full of peeps is not unusual and it sucks… big, blue gobstoppers… meh. I wish I could make it better for you AT, I truly do. Much luv to you and the boys.
P.S. I dunno why but I can’t talk in the shout out box anymore :( I know I can be chatty but… sniffle… Waaaaaah heh
November 30th, 2006 at 8:50 am
You are so smart for being clear on keeping your communication with the kids on their level and being aware of not turning MastaG into your confidant or coparent. So many parents do that without thinking of the effect it has on the kids - my husband is 11 years older than his brother and their relationship has never just been as brothers, but a bit of brothers and a bit of parent/child (even though their parents are still together). They are still trying to figure out an adult relationship. grrr. Not that you need the validation, but, good job, anyway.
Being alone in a crowd sucks. Yep. Sucks. Big fat hairy grasshoppers.
November 30th, 2006 at 10:54 am
At least you know that there are lots of people who would love to try to make you feel better, but I know that no one could give the companionship that you had with BJ but BJ. She was your super twin, and there just isn’t anyone who can replace that, or even come close to it. If you ever want some little sister type companionship, though, I’m your woman.
November 30th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
It does suck, Jake. And no one can hold that against you for feeling that it sucks. Just remember, it will get better. It will. Time is your friend and time will help it. Only while time seems to pass do damn quickly in the big picture, it also passes so damn slowly. One day at a time. Hang in there.