Comments on: My naked little fingers http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/ Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:46:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.2 By: Robbin http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13177 Robbin Fri, 01 Dec 2006 16:04:10 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13177 Hate to draw parallels again, but it's the only way I know of relating. After Katrina, I had this overwhelming urge to just deal with the aftermath, and get on with it. I couldn't cling to my life in LA. It's like I just had to recognize that phase of my life was over, and move on to the next chapter. I spent three days salvaging my house, and on the third day, I proclaimed that if it wasn't something of serious sentimental value, it wasn't coming out of the house. I was DONE with it. I can't do life in limbo, I just can't. The tears and frustration were less from the loss of my career and everything I owned, than they were because multiple government agencies and insurance companies were holding my future hostage while they stood around with their thumbs up their butts. I wanted to move on and they WEREN'T LETTING ME. My mother just didn't get it. She clings to the past. I never have. Happiness isn't in the yesterday or in the tomorrow. It's in the "now". You take what life deals you and you run with it. And somehow people seem to see that as shallow and pathological. I don't get it. Hate to draw parallels again, but it’s the only way I know of relating.

After Katrina, I had this overwhelming urge to just deal with the aftermath, and get on with it. I couldn’t cling to my life in LA. It’s like I just had to recognize that phase of my life was over, and move on to the next chapter. I spent three days salvaging my house, and on the third day, I proclaimed that if it wasn’t something of serious sentimental value, it wasn’t coming out of the house. I was DONE with it.

I can’t do life in limbo, I just can’t. The tears and frustration were less from the loss of my career and everything I owned, than they were because multiple government agencies and insurance companies were holding my future hostage while they stood around with their thumbs up their butts. I wanted to move on and they WEREN’T LETTING ME.

My mother just didn’t get it. She clings to the past. I never have. Happiness isn’t in the yesterday or in the tomorrow. It’s in the “now”. You take what life deals you and you run with it. And somehow people seem to see that as shallow and pathological. I don’t get it.

]]> By: Bullet http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13187 Bullet Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:17:39 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13187 AT, I have complete faith and confidence in you and your abilities. Dude, I can't blame you for wanting to change and move on. If the other shoe drops, you can handle it. If it doesn't....great. We'll all be here for you regardless. Give that great big man of a boy a kick in the butt from his aunt. Tell him I'll get him a nice little doll for Christmas. AT, I have complete faith and confidence in you and your abilities. Dude, I can’t blame you for wanting to change and move on. If the other shoe drops, you can handle it. If it doesn’t….great. We’ll all be here for you regardless.
Give that great big man of a boy a kick in the butt from his aunt. Tell him I’ll get him a nice little doll for Christmas.

]]> By: jenwright http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13192 jenwright Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:59:20 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13192 Pigpen would probably be delighted to get a doll. I have it from a reliable source (Pigpen himself) that he wants the Dora Fairy Princess doll for Christmas. Seriously. Pigpen would probably be delighted to get a doll. I have it from a reliable source (Pigpen himself) that he wants the Dora Fairy Princess doll for Christmas. Seriously.

]]> By: Little Miss http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13194 Little Miss Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:10:23 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13194 Oh, I would be so screwed! I am the biggest sentimental sap you'll ever come across. Old movie tickets from our first date, a napkin we played TicTacToe on the way to Jamaica, baby's first haircut--guess that would be like you hanging onto a bottle of pee, eh? I can see why you say, "no thanks"! However having said that, I did partake in a major overhaul of the house over the past week (i.e. decluttering) and it feels AWESOME. I hope you can have that same sense of relief. Oh, I would be so screwed! I am the biggest sentimental sap you’ll ever come across. Old movie tickets from our first date, a napkin we played TicTacToe on the way to Jamaica, baby’s first haircut–guess that would be like you hanging onto a bottle of pee, eh? I can see why you say, “no thanks”!

However having said that, I did partake in a major overhaul of the house over the past week (i.e. decluttering) and it feels AWESOME. I hope you can have that same sense of relief.

]]> By: Birdlady http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13195 Birdlady Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:27:18 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13195 You are smart and an excellent writer - you should go to college. You could even start at a community college located near you. Colleges these days often offer some courses before work and via the Internet. Some schools are willing to bend some rules if there is a family hardship. (You never know until you ask!) Go part-time. Take one class at a time and explore what interests you. Maybe looking over some college catalogs will give you something to do when you don't know what to do with yourself. Dream big! You are smart and an excellent writer - you should go to college. You could even start at
a community college located near you. Colleges these days often offer some courses before work and via the Internet. Some schools are willing to bend some rules if there is a family hardship. (You never know until you ask!) Go part-time. Take one class at a time and explore what interests you. Maybe looking over some college catalogs will give you something to do when you don’t know what to do with yourself. Dream big!

]]> By: mary http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13196 mary Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:38:20 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13196 I have a friend who is a single dad who goes to school full time, and works part-time. He was able to get some scholarship from the Ford Foundation for single parents. It was his key to going back to school. The thing is, close to 90% of applicants are female, so being male gives you an edge. I'll ask him for info about it next time I see him. I have a friend who is a single dad who goes to school full time, and works part-time. He was able to get some scholarship from the Ford Foundation for single parents. It was his key to going back to school. The thing is, close to 90% of applicants are female, so being male gives you an edge. I’ll ask him for info about it next time I see him.

]]> By: Robbin http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13197 Robbin Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:47:43 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13197 Oh - I forgot to add: It took me almost 12 years to finish my undergraduate degree. Life intervened. I now have a PhD (which, in science, they actually pay you to get if you can get accepted). I graduated with the PhD at 36 years old. Keep plugging. Oh - I forgot to add:

It took me almost 12 years to finish my undergraduate degree. Life intervened. I now have a PhD (which, in science, they actually pay you to get if you can get accepted). I graduated with the PhD at 36 years old.

Keep plugging.

]]> By: me http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13198 me Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:49:41 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13198 I just wanted to mention to you, (although it sounds like this doesn't apply to you thought) that as someone who lost a parent way to early, be sure and talk to your kids about their Mom. I was 3 when we lost my Dad and my Mom never really talked about Dad. We're not prone to showing alot of emotion in my family and talking about him made her sad or something I guess, so we just never discussed it. I can tell you though, as a soon to be 31 year old, that I sort of feel, not necessarily anger, but maybe a healthy dose of resentment that I missed out on all sorts of great stories that I'm just now hearing. But then I guess better late than never. I just wanted to mention to you, (although it sounds like this doesn’t apply to you thought) that as someone who lost a parent way to early, be sure and talk to your kids about their Mom. I was 3 when we lost my Dad and my Mom never really talked about Dad. We’re not prone to showing alot of emotion in my family and talking about him made her sad or something I guess, so we just never discussed it. I can tell you though, as a soon to be 31 year old, that I sort of feel, not necessarily anger, but maybe a healthy dose of resentment that I missed out on all sorts of great stories that I’m just now hearing. But then I guess better late than never.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13199 Atomictumor Fri, 01 Dec 2006 19:00:34 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13199 Oh yeah. BJ will very much be a part of our lives. I'm not one to file her away. Yeah, her stuff, cuz it takes up valuable real estate that my stuff could have, but not from the kids. Right now, I'm letting them start the conversations, but I mention her daily, "What would Mom think of this?" or "Remember when Mom...", or "You know what your Mother would say?" When they say prayers at night (something that we didn't really do until now together) we do the "Now I Lay Me", and then they do the freehand prayers, and they always start with "Dear God. Please bless Mommy...", no matter which kid says em (we take turns). Yeah, they'll know her, I think. I love them too much, and she was too awesome a lady, to take away like that. Oh yeah. BJ will very much be a part of our lives. I’m not one to file her away. Yeah, her stuff, cuz it takes up valuable real estate that my stuff could have, but not from the kids.
Right now, I’m letting them start the conversations, but I mention her daily, “What would Mom think of this?” or “Remember when Mom…”, or “You know what your Mother would say?”
When they say prayers at night (something that we didn’t really do until now together) we do the “Now I Lay Me”, and then they do the freehand prayers, and they always start with “Dear God. Please bless Mommy…”, no matter which kid says em (we take turns).
Yeah, they’ll know her, I think. I love them too much, and she was too awesome a lady, to take away like that.

]]> By: Denette http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13200 Denette Fri, 01 Dec 2006 19:57:41 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13200 If the other shoe is going to drop it's not going to do it when your waiting on it. You have a life to live. You love BJ and everyone knows that. Maybe you could take a class or two here and there. I had a big shift in priorities when I had The Stash. No amount of money can make me want to miss out on his childhoood. I do like taking classes though. For me the key has been taking a class here and there. Something I'm really interested in instead of being on the fast track to any degree. If the other shoe is going to drop it’s not going to do it when your waiting on it. You have a life to live. You love BJ and everyone knows that.
Maybe you could take a class or two here and there. I had a big shift in priorities when I had The Stash. No amount of money can make me want to miss out on his childhoood. I do like taking classes though. For me the key has been taking a class here and there. Something I’m really interested in instead of being on the fast track to any degree.

]]> By: Joan http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13207 Joan Fri, 01 Dec 2006 20:09:43 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13207 I think you won the arguement hands down about it going to be a hard winter. As for college...scholarships, grants and loans (oh my). You can do it. You should do it. No regrets, cyber friend. I think you won the arguement hands down about it going to be a hard winter.

As for college…scholarships, grants and loans (oh my). You can do it. You should do it. No regrets, cyber friend.

]]> By: sumgurl http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13213 sumgurl Fri, 01 Dec 2006 20:29:55 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13213 she's free ...i like that. she’s free …i like that.

]]> By: yankee,transferred http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13214 yankee,transferred Fri, 01 Dec 2006 20:31:27 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13214 Thinking of all of you. You are so brave. Thinking of all of you. You are so brave.

]]> By: sumgurl http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13215 sumgurl Fri, 01 Dec 2006 20:32:53 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13215 sunday at 4, AT, be here or be [] (that's more of a rectangle but the best i can do). today's friday - a good day to start nagging ... sunday at 4, sunday at 4, sunday at 4..... sunday at 4, AT, be here or be [] (that’s more of a rectangle but the best i can do). today’s friday - a good day to start nagging … sunday at 4, sunday at 4, sunday at 4…..

]]> By: CarlieBeth http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13229 CarlieBeth Fri, 01 Dec 2006 21:41:03 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13229 It was good to see you guys again. Sorry my kids turned into maniacs, I think there was a little over-excitement going on there, we had a talk. About the school thing, I get you. I always wanted to go back to school but I haven’t been able to figure it out without spending a whole lot of time away from the kids, and I just don’t want to do that. Maybe someday, but not now. It was good to see you guys again. Sorry my kids turned into maniacs, I think there was a little over-excitement going on there, we had a talk.

About the school thing, I get you. I always wanted to go back to school but I haven’t been able to figure it out without spending a whole lot of time away from the kids, and I just don’t want to do that. Maybe someday, but not now.

]]> By: Amnesia http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13231 Amnesia Fri, 01 Dec 2006 22:21:18 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13231 You know, you keep saying you are waiting for the "other shoe to drop" or that you have not really started grieving yet...but when I read the posts from when BJ was alive in the hospital, in a very close to death state, you were grieving. You went through doubt, anger, bargaining, acceptance...you did it all Jake - just did it during her really sick times instead of after. I doubt it ever gets that bad again. When my mom died I did a very similar thing, and felt pretty bad for not getting torn up at the funeral or the days that followed...and while it was painful and I hated it, I didn't react the way I thought I would. In hindsight, I can see that I did all of the hard emotion stuff before she died...my way of dealing with it I suppose. You know, you keep saying you are waiting for the “other shoe to drop” or that you have not really started grieving yet…but when I read the posts from when BJ was alive in the hospital, in a very close to death state, you were grieving. You went through doubt, anger, bargaining, acceptance…you did it all Jake - just did it during her really sick times instead of after. I doubt it ever gets that bad again. When my mom died I did a very similar thing, and felt pretty bad for not getting torn up at the funeral or the days that followed…and while it was painful and I hated it, I didn’t react the way I thought I would. In hindsight, I can see that I did all of the hard emotion stuff before she died…my way of dealing with it I suppose.

]]> By: AT http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13233 AT Fri, 01 Dec 2006 23:06:18 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13233 Amnesia, yeah, that same thing has crossed my mind, but that the time I had hope. I figure at some point whats bound to come back is that 'beating myself up' thing that I put off way back a few weeks ago. I'll get mad for taking the rings off 2 weeks after she died. I'll get mad for not thinking of her constantly. I'll get mad for getting on with my life. I could be wrong, its more just a guess. Amnesia, yeah, that same thing has crossed my mind, but that the time I had hope. I figure at some point whats bound to come back is that ‘beating myself up’ thing that I put off way back a few weeks ago.
I’ll get mad for taking the rings off 2 weeks after she died.
I’ll get mad for not thinking of her constantly.
I’ll get mad for getting on with my life.
I could be wrong, its more just a guess.

]]> By: angell http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13251 angell Sat, 02 Dec 2006 00:17:35 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13251 Hello, When my ex husband left me along with our 4 small children at the time I knew I couldnt do it without gettin an education so I could build a better life for them. I also knew I had to be there for them as much as I could be. I enrolled in college which was pretty scary es[pecially since I hadnt been in school for 7 years. I took 2 classes at a time for a few hours a week. That way I could be with them as much as I could. Im almost done now and have learned and grown so much because of it. Now they are older and dont need me as much but I still go half time in case they need me. Youre so lucky to live in Tennessee I have visited before near knoxville and a place called athens very pretty! Take care Hello,

When my ex husband left me along with our 4 small children at the time I knew I couldnt do it without gettin an education so I could build a better life for them. I also knew I had to be there for them as much as I could be. I enrolled in college which was pretty scary es[pecially since I hadnt been in school for 7 years. I took 2 classes at a time for a few hours a week. That way I could be with them as much as I could. Im almost done now and have learned and grown so much because of it. Now they are older and dont need me as much but I still go half time in case they need me. Youre so lucky to live in Tennessee I have visited before near knoxville and a place called athens very pretty! Take care

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13261 Atomictumor Sat, 02 Dec 2006 01:19:52 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13261 Thanks Angell! Yeah, Athens has always been the halfway point tween here and the Blueberry Farm, its a good place! Thanks Angell!
Yeah, Athens has always been the halfway point tween here and the Blueberry Farm, its a good place!

]]> By: Sarah http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13283 Sarah Sat, 02 Dec 2006 02:51:59 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13283 You're testing the your boundaries and how far you can go with your new self. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You’re testing the your boundaries and how far you can go with your new self.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

]]> By: jen http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13823 jen Sun, 03 Dec 2006 22:34:04 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/01/my-naked-little-fingers/#comment-13823 In 2005 I finished my full time bachelors degree in teaching early childhood I was a solomum of 2 then but my youngest was 7 when I started I use to look at other students with younger children and think how hard it must of been for them id wait a while until your youngest is a little older take one day at a time AT In 2005 I finished my full time bachelors degree in teaching early childhood
I was a solomum of 2 then
but my youngest was 7 when I started
I use to look at other students with younger children and think how hard it must of been for them
id wait a while until your youngest is a little older
take one day at a time AT

]]>