Comments on: The Christmas Stuff http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:18:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.2 By: Jenncurran http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14699 Jenncurran Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:33:00 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14699 AT, please take this however you want but I really, honestly and truly think you may not have progressed past the whole denial thing. I don't think, and I don't know you and don't presume to, that the true weight of this has hit you. It will and you'll know it when it does. I think (and I'm loathe say this) taking a break from 'tumor and whatever else you're filling time with will be a good thing for you. Talking through a keyboard about grief is one thing. Squeezing it out of your very pores is entirely different. I think you might disagree with me right now, but I wonder if a year from now you'll feel differently. Whenever it hits, I think BJ's parents might be a source of comfort to you then. Maybe you don't like going over there because a part of you envies the raw emotions that her mom is feeling? Just a thought from across the 'net. AT, please take this however you want but I really, honestly and truly think you may not have progressed past the whole denial thing. I don’t think, and I don’t know you and don’t presume to, that the true weight of this has hit you. It will and you’ll know it when it does. I think (and I’m loathe say this) taking a break from ‘tumor and whatever else you’re filling time with will be a good thing for you. Talking through a keyboard about grief is one thing. Squeezing it out of your very pores is entirely different.

I think you might disagree with me right now, but I wonder if a year from now you’ll feel differently. Whenever it hits, I think BJ’s parents might be a source of comfort to you then. Maybe you don’t like going over there because a part of you envies the raw emotions that her mom is feeling? Just a thought from across the ‘net.

]]> By: Allisone http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14700 Allisone Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:36:23 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14700 You do what you need to do. My rss reader will ping when you come back :) You've got the email addresses and websites if you want some company. You do what you need to do. My rss reader will ping when you come back :)
You’ve got the email addresses and websites if you want some company.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14702 Atomictumor Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:47:44 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14702 Jenncurran, actually, I know enough about psychology to agree with you, and I didn't mean to ever write anything that would lead to the contrary. I spent a lot of time shortly after her death waiting for the other shoe to drop, with regards to pain. I haven't felt it yet, and at first I felt kinda gypped, but then just decided to let it come when it does. But I think it will, because I think its been too easy so far. Not sure when, and I'd say maybe a year wouldn't be enough time. Who knows tho, right? With regards to the Mom, again, I talked about that when this was fresh, and still feel, that I'd rather get it over with now, like she appears to be doing. So, I don't disagree at all :p Jenncurran, actually, I know enough about psychology to agree with you, and I didn’t mean to ever write anything that would lead to the contrary.
I spent a lot of time shortly after her death waiting for the other shoe to drop, with regards to pain. I haven’t felt it yet, and at first I felt kinda gypped, but then just decided to let it come when it does.
But I think it will, because I think its been too easy so far. Not sure when, and I’d say maybe a year wouldn’t be enough time. Who knows tho, right?
With regards to the Mom, again, I talked about that when this was fresh, and still feel, that I’d rather get it over with now, like she appears to be doing.
So, I don’t disagree at all :p

]]> By: VA Bluebelle http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14703 VA Bluebelle Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:52:25 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14703 I think you did a nice and necessary thing for BJ's Mom. Her automatic reaction seems to be to just shut down and that can be terribly unhealthy. The holidays are notoriously hard for the griefstricken. By hanging BJ's ornaments, thinking of her gifts and telling "remember that Christmas" stories with her grandkids, maybe Mother GAC will begin to find some peace with BJ's memory instead of just associating it with pain. I think you did a nice and necessary thing for BJ’s Mom. Her automatic reaction seems to be to just shut down and that can be terribly unhealthy. The holidays are notoriously hard for the griefstricken. By hanging BJ’s ornaments, thinking of her gifts and telling “remember that Christmas” stories with her grandkids, maybe Mother GAC will begin to find some peace with BJ’s memory instead of just associating it with pain.

]]> By: Jenn http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14704 Jenn Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:57:50 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14704 As I female I'm allowed to say it...your MIL is so torn up because that's how we females are. You men are blessed with the capability to be numb and just stop thinking. We women are possessed with the non-stop-emotional-hell trapped in our brains. ; ) As I female I’m allowed to say it…your MIL is so torn up because that’s how we females are. You men are blessed with the capability to be numb and just stop thinking. We women are possessed with the non-stop-emotional-hell trapped in our brains. ; )

]]> By: Tonya http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14705 Tonya Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:57:57 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14705 AT - I, too, felt guilty because I didn't feel the same rawness the in-laws felt. I know I was in a different place and feeling like I had to be strong for the girls....but I also wanted my girls to know it was ok to be upset. So, I struggled with this whole thing of being strong and feeling guilty. There were times that I was uncomfortable around the in laws because of it....but we are all still one big family and I am so glad they are an active part of my girls lives. Late husband's truck leaving was HUGE for me and for the girls. EVERY time we came over the hill and saw it, it was like being on a ride at the amusement park where something takes your stomach except then you got punched instead of having a fun ride on the roller coaster. It was short lived in the driveway for financial reasons and it was a bittersweet day - but glad it happened when it did. Also, you should take a break from this space whenever you feel like it....YES, some of us will go into DT's over AT's withdrawal from the web...but we gotta respect how much of you has been bared before over all the web for the past month or so. It's real life not some virtual world! But wish we could say it were! At any rate, Do What You Want and Feel Like You Need to Do......DWYWAFLYNTD! AT - I, too, felt guilty because I didn’t feel the same rawness the in-laws felt. I know I was in a different place and feeling like I had to be strong for the girls….but I also wanted my girls to know it was ok to be upset. So, I struggled with this whole thing of being strong and feeling guilty. There were times that I was uncomfortable around the in laws because of it….but we are all still one big family and I am so glad they are an active part of my girls lives.
Late husband’s truck leaving was HUGE for me and for the girls. EVERY time we came over the hill and saw it, it was like being on a ride at the amusement park where something takes your stomach except then you got punched instead of having a fun ride on the roller coaster. It was short lived in the driveway for financial reasons and it was a bittersweet day - but glad it happened when it did.
Also, you should take a break from this space whenever you feel like it….YES, some of us will go into DT’s over AT’s withdrawal from the web…but we gotta respect how much of you has been bared before over all the web for the past month or so. It’s real life not some virtual world! But wish we could say it were!
At any rate, Do What You Want and Feel Like You Need to Do……DWYWAFLYNTD!

]]> By: DebbieS http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14708 DebbieS Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:07:30 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14708 Hi AT, I'll put up ornaments if you will! My mom died last January 21st, at age 53, and I swear she purposely kept herself alive until after Christmas because it was her favorite holiday. In her "goodbye" letter to me, she specifically asked me to keep the family traditions going, but every time I see a snowman ornament (her favorite), I can't shake the image of having to hang one from her IV pole last year. My hubby is givin' me the tough love, too...he put up the Christmas tree and fought with the lights, and now I'd darn well better decorate it! I know I will, if only because years from now I want my 16 month-old daughter to see pictures of herself on her first "fun" Christmas in front of our tree. And I know my mom would kick my ass the minute I joined her in the afterlife if I let her death ruin the holiday for me! I know it's different if you don't enjoy Christmas, but the same principle applies to different circumstances. As far as BJ feeling "long ago and far away", that'll go back and forth. When I first lost my mom it was almost a relief that the suffering (hers and everyone else's) was over, and it seemed forever since we'd had a normal family time together. Now it seems like just the other day we were shopping at the mall together. Grief is funny that way; so is memory. Write or don't write, as it helps you. Remember that you don't only have to define yourself at the Tumor as AT, who just lost his wife. You'll be redefining yourself just as water does when you pour it into a different container. You're naturally talented at expressing yourself via the written word, so you may find that it helps. Either way, know that we're all still here, and rooting for you. Hi AT,

I’ll put up ornaments if you will! My mom died last January 21st, at age 53, and I swear she purposely kept herself alive until after Christmas because it was her favorite holiday. In her “goodbye” letter to me, she specifically asked me to keep the family traditions going, but every time I see a snowman ornament (her favorite), I can’t shake the image of having to hang one from her IV pole last year.

My hubby is givin’ me the tough love, too…he put up the Christmas tree and fought with the lights, and now I’d darn well better decorate it! I know I will, if only because years from now I want my 16 month-old daughter to see pictures of herself on her first “fun” Christmas in front of our tree. And I know my mom would kick my ass the minute I joined her in the afterlife if I let her death ruin the holiday for me!

I know it’s different if you don’t enjoy Christmas, but the same principle applies to different circumstances. As far as BJ feeling “long ago and far away”, that’ll go back and forth. When I first lost my mom it was almost a relief that the suffering (hers and everyone else’s) was over, and it seemed forever since we’d had a normal family time together. Now it seems like just the other day we were shopping at the mall together. Grief is funny that way; so is memory.

Write or don’t write, as it helps you. Remember that you don’t only have to define yourself at the Tumor as AT, who just lost his wife. You’ll be redefining yourself just as water does when you pour it into a different container. You’re naturally talented at expressing yourself via the written word, so you may find that it helps. Either way, know that we’re all still here, and rooting for you.

]]> By: Jacket http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14709 Jacket Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:16:29 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14709 "so maybe we could just go to the beach?" So what is stopping you guys? Load the whole darn bunch up the week of Christmas and haul ass south as far as you want. — “so maybe we could just go to the beach?”

So what is stopping you guys? Load the whole darn bunch up the week of Christmas and haul ass south as far as you want.

—

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14710 Atomictumor Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:22:06 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14710 Well, like Christmas, I dislike the beach... <-- total grinch Well, like Christmas, I dislike the beach…
< -- total grinch

]]> By: Jacket http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14711 Jacket Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:25:49 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14711 Well, so much for that idea. I might go in your stead. Well, so much for that idea. I might go in your stead.

]]> By: ben http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14713 ben Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:37:28 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14713 Christmas can be an incredibly emotional season for all kinds of reasons. Even without the additional loss which you are all dealing with. And I totally understand the need to not force yourself to write. You've gotta have balance, and if you feel you are forcing yourself? Things aren't balanced. Hang in there, man. Christmas can be an incredibly emotional season for all kinds of reasons. Even without the additional loss which you are all dealing with.

And I totally understand the need to not force yourself to write. You’ve gotta have balance, and if you feel you are forcing yourself? Things aren’t balanced.

Hang in there, man.

]]> By: mojofilter http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14715 mojofilter Thu, 07 Dec 2006 02:48:37 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14715 Hey AT, You should go with electrical illumination first. I just put mine up tonight and it seemed to give me a touch of the giddyness. I've always thought that christmas lights were mellowing and relaxing. Maybe it's just the initial giddyness after you step back and look at it that brings it on. Jenn, from my perspective as a guy, it's more like being trapped in an emotional hell with no outlet. Not having an emotional outlet, which may appear as "numbness", is in itself sometimes frustrating, but it seems to be the underlying frustration that gets me from day to day. So it goes. But yeah, it's true I've been intentionally focusing on other things to divert attention. This, for me, still hasn't sunk in. My opinion: it won't. It will always be just below the surface. And so it goes. To paraphrase Hunter Thompson: "all things flow according to the whims of the great magnet". I feel that way, it seems to work. Tumorillians, thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Hey AT,
You should go with electrical illumination first. I just put mine up tonight and it seemed to give me a touch of the giddyness. I’ve always thought that christmas lights were mellowing and relaxing. Maybe it’s just the initial giddyness after you step back and look at it that brings it on.

Jenn, from my perspective as a guy, it’s more like being trapped in an emotional hell with no outlet. Not having an emotional outlet, which may appear as “numbness”, is in itself sometimes frustrating, but it seems to be the underlying frustration that gets me from day to day. So it goes. But yeah, it’s true I’ve been intentionally focusing on other things to divert attention. This, for me, still hasn’t sunk in. My opinion: it won’t. It will always be just below the surface. And so it goes. To paraphrase Hunter Thompson: “all things flow according to the whims of the great magnet”. I feel that way, it seems to work.

Tumorillians, thanks for sharing your thoughts here.

]]> By: The Bosphorus http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14723 The Bosphorus Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:01:22 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14723 Wow, <i>tumorillians</i>. I like that. It's very reptillian. Now, I'll have to clean up my place. Wow, tumorillians. I like that. It’s very reptillian.

Now, I’ll have to clean up my place.

]]> By: VA Bluebelle http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14724 VA Bluebelle Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:01:55 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14724 If you don't like the beach you just haven't met the right margarita yet. If you don’t like the beach you just haven’t met the right margarita yet.

]]> By: Denette http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14726 Denette Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:19:21 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14726 Is there a such thing as too much "getting things out"? Maybe it would do good to take a break from here. Hell I don't know. I feel for your Mother-in-law. I would be devastated to lose my child. Absolutly devastated. I think what you are doing with her will help her. Is there a such thing as too much “getting things out”? Maybe it would do good to take a break from here. Hell I don’t know. I feel for your Mother-in-law. I would be devastated to lose my child. Absolutly devastated. I think what you are doing with her will help her.

]]> By: Joel http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14728 Joel Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:25:44 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14728 Yeah, I hate the beach too. Well, I've liked the 'tumor, but I've seen other sites come and go. I hope you can continue. Yeah, I hate the beach too.

Well, I’ve liked the ‘tumor, but I’ve seen other sites come and go. I hope you can continue.

]]> By: Jane http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14730 Jane Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:42:10 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14730 Beach= icky sand in pants. It's ok to still feel the "we". Tough love can be the best love. It seems as if you are doing it also for your kids and that's good too. Actions speak louder than words anyway so the keeping the mouth shut idea is a good one. Praying for you whether you post or not. Beach= icky sand in pants.

It’s ok to still feel the “we”.

Tough love can be the best love. It seems as if you are doing it also for your kids and that’s good too.

Actions speak louder than words anyway so the keeping the mouth shut idea is a good one.

Praying for you whether you post or not.

]]> By: sumgurl http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14732 sumgurl Thu, 07 Dec 2006 04:03:09 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14732 say "we", say "i" ... we all know what you mean. never feel the need to correct yourself for us. placeholder or not, you'll keep in touch, right? say “we”, say “i” … we all know what you mean. never feel the need to correct yourself for us.
placeholder or not, you’ll keep in touch, right?

]]> By: Lynnster http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14751 Lynnster Thu, 07 Dec 2006 06:41:52 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14751 Your mother-in-law - everybody grieves at their own pace and in their own time and no two are the same and every event is different. My father died a little over three years ago and I was OK almost immediately. My grandmother died a little over a year ago and I'm still grieving pretty hard with no sign of really letting up anytime soon. With BJ being her baby, it could take a while. I know you don't want her to have to continue to be in pain but she'll be OK when it's time for her to be OK and not a moment sooner. And it's perfectly normal for you to be saying "we" for even a long time to come. Nothing wrong or weird about that, AT. Your mother-in-law - everybody grieves at their own pace and in their own time and no two are the same and every event is different. My father died a little over three years ago and I was OK almost immediately. My grandmother died a little over a year ago and I’m still grieving pretty hard with no sign of really letting up anytime soon. With BJ being her baby, it could take a while. I know you don’t want her to have to continue to be in pain but she’ll be OK when it’s time for her to be OK and not a moment sooner.

And it’s perfectly normal for you to be saying “we” for even a long time to come. Nothing wrong or weird about that, AT.

]]> By: GBscientist http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14788 GBscientist Thu, 07 Dec 2006 11:54:01 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14788 Recent studies show that pouring out grief all over the place, as any good grief counsellor will tell you to do, prolongs the grieving process and intensifies emotional scarring. The same studies also show that the best way to cope is the 'stiff upper lip', so keep on with life, and if a moment of grief hits, run with it but don't wallow. Take a break if you need to, but if you're down for too long, Grandma is going to force me to e-mail stalk you. Recent studies show that pouring out grief all over the place, as any good grief counsellor will tell you to do, prolongs the grieving process and intensifies emotional scarring. The same studies also show that the best way to cope is the ’stiff upper lip’, so keep on with life, and if a moment of grief hits, run with it but don’t wallow.

Take a break if you need to, but if you’re down for too long, Grandma is going to force me to e-mail stalk you.

]]> By: jenwright http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14800 jenwright Thu, 07 Dec 2006 13:02:10 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14800 Man, you sure have made a lot of really intelligent friends here, AT. I don't comment as often as I think about it, because everyone else gets there first and says it better than I could. This website is truly a blessing. I'm glad you're my brother and I can just call anytime and harrass you. Man, you sure have made a lot of really intelligent friends here, AT. I don’t comment as often as I think about it, because everyone else gets there first and says it better than I could. This website is truly a blessing. I’m glad you’re my brother and I can just call anytime and harrass you.

]]> By: Birdlady http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14803 Birdlady Thu, 07 Dec 2006 13:33:01 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14803 Your resolve will change daily. Peace be with you. Your resolve will change daily. Peace be with you.

]]> By: VirginiaGal http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14805 VirginiaGal Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:00:57 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14805 AT, so sorry to give you heart problems yesterday. There is a reason I don't have a blog of my own and it is because of writers like you who can convey thoughts and feelings and be very clear. Unlike me who writes confusing sentences which can be read several ways. Love reading your blog but will totally understand if you need to take a break to process and live for a while without a running commentary here. AT, so sorry to give you heart problems yesterday. There is a reason I don’t have a blog of my own and it is because of writers like you who can convey thoughts and feelings and be very clear. Unlike me who writes confusing sentences which can be read several ways.

Love reading your blog but will totally understand if you need to take a break to process and live for a while without a running commentary here.

]]> By: Louise http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14822 Louise Thu, 07 Dec 2006 15:42:38 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14822 AT, Someone sent me the link to your site yesterday and I have read your story. You are in a living nightmare complete with technicolor and Dolby digital surround sound. I've been through similar times in my life and I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. My mother-in-law died within two weeks of being diagnosed with leukemia at Thanksgiving last year. I still want to talk to her and tell her things. I want to laugh and giggle with her and it has been over a year. Take care, AT, and if you ever need an objective third party, I am here. AT, Someone sent me the link to your site yesterday and I have read your story. You are in a living nightmare complete with technicolor and Dolby digital surround sound. I’ve been through similar times in my life and I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you.

My mother-in-law died within two weeks of being diagnosed with leukemia at Thanksgiving last year. I still want to talk to her and tell her things. I want to laugh and giggle with her and it has been over a year.

Take care, AT, and if you ever need an objective third party, I am here.

]]> By: Cathy http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14835 Cathy Thu, 07 Dec 2006 17:31:09 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14835 Maybe this year you decorate the tree with bionicles and legos. Start some new traditions. Maybe you just load up everyone and spend Christmas at the beach. Or Disney. Maybe this year you decorate the tree with bionicles and legos. Start some new traditions. Maybe you just load up everyone and spend Christmas at the beach. Or Disney.

]]> By: sumgurl http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14871 sumgurl Thu, 07 Dec 2006 20:18:19 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14871 i will use my expert computer skills (the ones i haven't whipped out on you yet) and hack into the AT and faux blog to keep the customers happy ... i could make up all kinds of stuff people want to hear. i will use my expert computer skills (the ones i haven’t whipped out on you yet) and hack into the AT and faux blog to keep the customers happy … i could make up all kinds of stuff people want to hear.

]]> By: Delaney http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14898 Delaney Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:35:12 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14898 I feel almost the same way about all the Christmas decorating junk, it is a big hassle. I like to look at it after it's up, but then all I think of is : Oh crap, I have to pack all this up again in less than a month. To me, how we as Americans celebrate Christmas has gotten way too tacky and loud. My husband loves it. It's pure drudgery for me. The only reason I give in is to make good memories for my little girl, so I guess it's all worth it. As far as your grief goes, maybe a break from your site will help you focus on yourself and your feelings privately. You can concentrate on you, not us. I feel almost the same way about all the Christmas decorating junk, it is a big hassle. I like to look at it after it’s up, but then all I think of is : Oh crap, I have to pack all this up again in less than a month. To me, how we as Americans celebrate Christmas has gotten way too tacky and loud. My husband loves it. It’s pure drudgery for me. The only reason I give in is to make good memories for my little girl, so I guess it’s all worth it. As far as your grief goes, maybe a break from your site will help you focus on yourself and your feelings privately. You can concentrate on you, not us.

]]> By: LGirl http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14919 LGirl Fri, 08 Dec 2006 02:06:14 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14919 I have been reading since early November. I was hoping for BJ's full recovery and declaration (bia blog) that Wow that was the shit I am so glad over. I have read wishing my Dh had the love for me that you have have for BJ. My heart goes out for you ane your boys. About your MIl. She gave birth to your BJ She has known BJ since conception. she chose her name and decorated her nuresry bought the first training bra and prepared the spagetti for the first night in your own pad.... She could imagine every forward and backward step your girl were to make. I am a Mommy. I must say that I would mourn my Child's passing 1000 times my soulmate's passing. It's a loss that every Mother fears. That and the thought that you may not live long enough to see your Children flourish. I have only postive wishes for your family and felt the need for you to know this is a huge loss for your MIl too. Hugs Mommy blogger. PS you are now a Daddy blogger, with a difference. I have been reading since early November. I was hoping for BJ’s full recovery and declaration (bia blog) that Wow that was the shit I am so glad over. I have read wishing my Dh had the love for me that you have have for BJ. My heart goes out for you ane your boys.
About your MIl. She gave birth to your BJ She has known BJ since conception. she chose her name and decorated her nuresry bought the first training bra and prepared the spagetti for the first night in your own pad…. She could imagine every forward and backward step your girl were to make.
I am a Mommy. I must say that I would mourn my Child’s passing 1000 times my soulmate’s passing. It’s a loss that every Mother fears. That and the thought that you may not live long enough to see your Children flourish.
I have only postive wishes for your family and felt the need for you to know this is a huge loss for your MIl too.

Hugs Mommy blogger.

PS you are now a Daddy blogger, with a difference.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14923 Atomictumor Fri, 08 Dec 2006 02:35:50 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2006/12/06/the-christmas-stuff/#comment-14923 You're right LGirl, and I guess I've realized that the whole time. Thats why I'm trying to help, really. Her folks are really, really good people too, and I don't like to see them hurt. As a Dad, I can't say if it would have hurt worse to lose one of the boys. Probably, because of all the POTENTIAL. However, there was all sorts of potential with me and her. I was so looking forward to being old with her. You’re right LGirl, and I guess I’ve realized that the whole time. Thats why I’m trying to help, really. Her folks are really, really good people too, and I don’t like to see them hurt.

As a Dad, I can’t say if it would have hurt worse to lose one of the boys. Probably, because of all the POTENTIAL.
However, there was all sorts of potential with me and her. I was so looking forward to being old with her.

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