Atomictumor

After a day or so of work, I’ve got the ‘tumor shiny, happy, and new. The shoutbox is open for everybody to ride on, I have installed a tilt-a-whirl, and you can leave comments! Woot for comments!

OK, this is the deal regarding last week.

I needed that.

See, the ‘tumor has been a large part of my life. Its been my outlet since before most of you came here, and its been the monkey on my back for almost as long. I love the website. I love having a ‘blog’, although dammit, I hate that word.

However, this whole thing got the better of me, and I had to take it down.

I’ve been talking for a month or two about the changes that I expect my life to go through, and I think one of the only ways to effect change like we’re talking about is to rip down parts of your life that don’t work anymore, and put up new ones. That might be part of my talk about moving, although I’d sure miss this house.

I like this house. It, like the website, are something that BJ and I designed together.

Damn elusive point…

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MAN, it is good to have easy posting of my ramblings again! HTML is fun, but DAMN its a lot of work… I’d spend 5 times as long writing than I would making sure everything works! At least it gave me a chance to hone my geekery.

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So, here is my official stance on the organ donation thing, and then I don’t want to talk about it ever ever again.

I was wrong. I knew it when I wrote that post, and I know it now, and I’m sorry. I really am. Those of you that called me out on it were right. You were also pretty tactless (most of you), because you should have known that theres going to be times where I post something so raw and angry and emotional that it will take you aback. I’d love to say thats the last time, but I know it won’t be. This thing sucks, folks. It sucks more and more every day, BUT, at the same time, every day I’m more and more hopeful. The dread of life alone is subsiding, it comes back every once in a while, but the high water mark (hopefully) was hit Friday.

Anyway, point is, I’m sorry. I’m intellectually very happy that 3 fathers, just like me, have been saved from the organ donation list. What I didn’t mention, in my anger, is that all three of them had been waiting a year. You can’t wait a year for an organ, have it transplanted successfully, with meaningful change (the note said the kidney guys were off dialysis, and the liver guy was doing well) and be anything less than grateful.

Gratitude isn’t what I want, tho, because it wasn’t really my decision. I mean, it was, ultimately, but I did what BJ would have had me do. That, and I wasn’t going to use em.

So, water under the bridge and all that.

Except for this…

I shut off comments because I didn’t feel that I needed people getting onto me. Lots of people, who haven’t had this happen, are offering what seems helpful to them, but really isn’t. I’m tickled pink that people care for me, I really am, but sometimes its better just to say “Dude, I care” or something, rather than give a bunch of suggestions.

Jesus, I just read that, and I sound like such a douche. OK, comment away, but if I don’t like it, I might change your name to something like “Rodney Dimplebottom” or “One-Eyed Jack”.

Damn, its good to be back!