When there was only one set of bloody footprints…
December 13th, 2006 by Atomictumor
Well, that was me, in the kitchen. More on that later.
—
So, today was a day chock full of everything, except the kitchen sink (the sink was yesterday).
After going to Pigpen’s little singing thing with my folks, Damama and Biscuit (and being mightily entertained), we went to the Time Out. As the astute tumor reader knows, I had breakfast, so I didn’t order anything. The gal there, however, slipped a hot dog to me, which I ate. It was tasty, and I was full.
Then we went and bought a dead tree to adorn my living room! It smells Christmassy, which is the best part about this whole arbor massacre thing we have going on here. Not that I’m opposed to killing trees, mind you, I just think its an odd tradition…
Anyway, here it is, in all its treeish glory:
However, I think this picture puts it a bit more in perspective:
Why, YES, that is a chrome Santa on top of the tree, along with a few silver disco ball ornaments…
BJ and I have enjoyed the red and white disco tree for the past couple of years, and its a good tradition to continue. I wish there was a way I could mount some lights behind it, kinda make a show out of it. I mean, if you’re going to do something, why not do it right, eh?
—
MastaG and I set the tree up after picking him up. My folks had left just prior to that, because Mom had to be back in Georgia at 5, but they left him a little note, and it made his day. Pigpen fell asleep in the car on the way home from picking G up, like a good boy should, and G and I watched cartoons and decorated the tree.
Then I wrapped the presents we have. Some of them under the tree were gifts to the boys from a few friends at the Preschool, and I think thats freakin sweet. Thanks, Trish and sis.
When Pigpen woke up, we swung by BJ’s folks house. I’ve been toting around those big assed rubbermaid boxes with BJ’s clothes and shoes and stuff, having forgotten to drop them off previously. I said that I wanted to give them away, but I kinda changed my mind. I don’t know why. I mean, I feel like they should be worn, but I’d sure hate to bump into somebody wearing them.
This thing is still hard. This morning was good, it was a lot of fun, and all day was good, but I was exhausted by the time I got to BJ’s folks house, and I really didn’t have much to say. We ate dinner with them, and we all had a good time.
Being there makes it harder to avoid the reality of her death. I think thats the root of all the concern towards her folks that I’ve had. I see reminders of her at home, but they make me smile, with good memories, or fun times, or something like that. It seems a bit more solemn there, and it depresses me.
I yearn for her. On the drive home, I thought about all the times we drove that way. I liked to squeeze her leg every once in a while while driving, the van was just the right size for me to rest my hand on it, and I tried to remember that sensation. I still can, but I know it’ll fade away, just like everything else.
Thats why its easy for me now, I think, because I can still create a facsimile of this stuff in my head. I think when I confuse myself in the future, when the impression in there is so old that I can’t trust it, then it’ll be ugly.
I miss her more when I’m tired. I think its like herpes, in that regard. Eat well, get plenty of sleep, and your grief won’t flare up quite as bad.
Sure.
—
Speaking of eating well, I’ve gained back 7 of those 10 pounds lost when BJ got sick. Sigh.
Still continuing with the orange eating, sit ups, and bike riding. I find that sit ups are easier every day, so maybe I’ll just convince myself that the extra pounds are muscle.
Yep. Muscle.
—
Oh, yeah, the foot. Bet you’re wondering about that.
So I got athletes foot like 4 months ago. I bought that creme stuff, and it worked with the itching and whatnot, but over the past couple of months I’ve developed like a big scab there. Its just a think crust of skin. I clip as much off as I can, because it irritates me (doesn’t hurt, I just want it to stop being there). I got irritated at it tonight, and gave it the bandaid treatment… I grabbed an end and yanked.
And it bled. Copiously.
I knew it was bleeding as I went to the kitchen to get a bandaid, but just didn’t know how much. Three bandaids later, and the tiny bleed in my foot appears to be clotted.
Yay for modern medicine!
December 13th, 2006 at 9:48 pm
Love the lamp shade and those curtain rods!!
Tree looks great. We also have one disco ball.
I dream of the day when I can do theme trees. As it is a gotta put all the kid’s stuff up. Maybe when they are older. …. A “beers of the world” tree???
December 13th, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Great dead tree duder.
December 13th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
The lamp and lampshade were a mothers day gift to BJ that she, with her wicked style, picked out. Luckily, she pretty much set me up in style, so I don’t have to fend for myself.
The curtain rods, well, they’re bent. I’d love to say its on purpose, but they’re cheap, and we had cats…
December 13th, 2006 at 10:54 pm
Oh wow… It totally looks like it’s on purpose. Are you sure BJ didn’t have something to do with that? They look all curvy and modern.
December 13th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
Man the holidays are a drag — my family declared war already and it is only the 13th. Usually they wait a while — till the actual event and then hate each other — it is like chirstmas — I just gets earlier and earlier every year.
December 14th, 2006 at 12:20 am
which foot?
December 14th, 2006 at 6:28 am
Dude, don’t be ripping the skin off your foot! It’s not like you’re a badger caught in a bear…badger trap. Maybe it’s more like you’re a bear caught in a badger trap.
December 14th, 2006 at 7:53 am
Yikes! Sounds like you removed a wart. Those bleed like a stuck pig.
Cool tree.
December 14th, 2006 at 8:05 am
Your tree looks good. I can’t believe the curtain rods aren’t bent on purpose! I love them! Have a good day.
December 14th, 2006 at 8:49 am
Yeah, I thought the curtain rods were just stylish… they’re bent more gracefully what what my cats have done.
Tree looks great too!
December 14th, 2006 at 9:09 am
Beautiful disco tree AT! I like the Princess bag. :)
I’m pretty sure you’ll always remember what that leg squeeze feels like.
That story about your foot made me crinkle up my nose a little bit.
December 14th, 2006 at 9:10 am
I got a good chuckle out of all the beards drawn on the Disney princesses on the gift bag under the tree. Great way to start my work day…
December 14th, 2006 at 9:30 am
Yeah, actually, that bag is a bit of a tradition, in its second year. Last year, BJ drew all the beards on the bag for the big family gift draw done with my extended family. Course, as gift draws tend to do, we ended up bringing home the present we brought to the thing, so the bag waited in our attic until this year.
We were going to enter it (with a new gift) into the annual gift draw this year, but I don’t think I’m going to see the big family this christmas.
December 14th, 2006 at 9:37 am
I didn’t even notice the beards on the princess bag. Hilarious!
December 14th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Same here on the curtain rods; I loved them! Thought they were arty and funky and ubercool.
RE: the foot. Homeopathic medicine advises urinating on your foot daily to cure atheletes foot. -just a thought. ha ha
December 14th, 2006 at 9:52 am
Oh, you mean the curtain rods! The ones you say look cool and intentional? Oh, I thought you were talking about… uh… certain bods. Yeah, the cats ripped those up.
Uh, the curtain rods are totally intention. We’re cool, right?
December 14th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
I bet one of the kids is going to wind up with artistic talent. My guess is pigpen. That’ll be fun to see as he gets older.
December 14th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Wherever did you find a chrome Santa tree topper? That’s awesome!!
I had an idea for lights for it. I wonder if you could use some of those little clip-on booklights to light it. Seems like they have them really cheap at Walmart. (I know! Just suck it up!) You could clip them discreetly on the branches behind Santa and usually the light part is flexible so you could point them in the right direction.
Just a thought!
December 14th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Ooo, thats a good idea…
It was really BJ that had the big Walmart thing. I agree with her that they’re evil, but I don’t really mind giving money to evil people that much, as long as I don’t get trapped in there. My eye twitches after 10 minutes
December 14th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
I really like that lamp. And to truly make it disco, maybe you could try some strobe lights. :)
December 14th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
All I gotta say is “Ow, goddamn.”