Atomictumor

And my patience is shot.

I came back, the bedroom and playroom were a mess, and I couldn’t find the damn USB connector to upload the movie that I was able to take of the kids seeing the bunkbed and computer for the first time.  The movie cut itself off after a minute because evidently the son of a bitchin memory stick ran off with the damn USB connector to have forbidden love somewhere out of my reach, so I had to make do with the 8 MB relic that came with the camera.

After that, I cussed at MastaG’s computer because the wireless adapter wasn’t loading the right way (fixed it by loading the MB’s ethernet drivers first), and then I cussed like a friggin sailor at Pigpen’s Terrordactl playset because OH MY GOD you need a degree to figure out Hot Wheel’s easy to use instructions.

When I was tucking the kids in, I tried like hell to get a lamp plugged into the ‘childproof’ electrical socket cover in their bedroom, and then yelled at G when he said “here, let me try it”.  Geez kid, this falls under the ‘if I can’t do it’ category…

I apologized, tucked them in with kisses, said prayers, and walked back into the trashed bedroom and playroom.  Then I tried like hell to get into the Christmas spirit.

I never really do any other year, I’m not sure why I care if I do or not this year.

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In better news, Sumgurl left a beautiful gift of Thomas Creek in the front seat of the Volvo, and some nice people from Eave’s work have put together a food basket and some gifts for the kids.  Its hard to be angry and not feel like an ass in the face of generosity, but I think I’ll manage…

Hee.

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On the way home, I spent the whole drive thinking about how the hell a 28 yr old father of 2 in a committed and very loving relationship for 10 years to his first real love is supposed to get back onto the market.

And why do I think thats a good idea?

Ah well.  I guess nobody should be lonely at Christmas.  Lets all have a wee little pity party for AT.

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All things considered, its nice to be home.

Mazel Tov, bitches.

This morning when I woke up, Pigpen was waking up, and he climbed into bed with me and we read a book and joked around. I felt BJ with us when we did it, and it was bittersweet.

Being down at the farm has distracted me to the point where the sadness isn’t really coming, which is nice, but I’ll be glad to get back home and to real life. Mom and I talked about that, and she understands. She’s sad because BJ and her relationship had just started to feel like a mother-daughter one, after 10 years (they didn’t hit it off in the best way), and for the pain that the boys and I will have for the rest of our lives, on things like mothers day, and whatnot.

(This isn’t a ‘bring you down’ post, so, y’know, don’t cry Argentina and all that)

I’m looking forward to the next couple of days.

We’re going to open the presents around here today, and then head back home to the ‘Ridge this evening. The house, which the boys and I cleaned up when we left last week, got messy again when we went up there to set up the bed, so unfortunately we’re going up to an empty house full of mess.

Anyway, I’m probably going to keep the kids locked out of their room just to be sadistic, and put them in the playroom to sleep tonight. Then tomorrow night, after we open the presents under the tree, I’ll “remember” how to unlock the door. Should be good stuff. I’ll try to remember to take some pictures.

Speaking of which, heres a slice of Christmas Eve Eve at the BBF: