January 1st, 2007 by Atomictumor
Before I hit the sack in preparation for tomorrow, the first day back in the office, the first day for the kids back at school, therapy, yadda.
We watched Bruce Almighty after a dinner at the Time Out, which amazed me by being open today, and I didn’t realize what a good movie it was. I had seen it before, but as I don’t like Jim Carrey as a general rule, I didn’t pay much attention. MastaG had been taken by the previews for Evan Almighty, which looks awesome, so we rented it.
I like the idea of God being Morgan Freeman. He seems like an easy guy to talk to. I haven’t been mentioning much about God over here, I’ve been mulling the whole thing over in my subconscious, the things that I want to believe, the things I know I’ve seen, and the things I don’t want to believe.
Seeing The Beauty, while it was awhile ago, still has an indelible impact. I don’t see it now, and haven’t in several weeks, other than occasional moments I only notice after they’re over. Like tonight, when we were watching that movie, MastaG cuddled up beside me, Pigpen fast asleep and snoring on my lap after his late night last night, a warm, squishy ball of cuddle.
I was busy thinking of BJ, and her journey. Where she went.
I mentioned before that I feel sometimes like I have an anchor in the afterlife, on account of our connection, and I think it allowed me to feel her presence on a dozen or so occasions. As time goes on, as I kinda expected, static gets in the connection, and while she may well still be there, holding me, I don’t notice in all the other sensations that life sends your way.
The problem is, having a purely secular mindset is easier. Santa Claus makes no sense, he pushes his nose and goes up a chimney? Same way with heaven. What part of the body is the soul? Thats whats hard to intellectualize.
But, intellect had nothing to do with feeling BJ, or knowing, beyond any doubt at all, that she’s at peace. I think God would be the only way for her to find peace, whether its Yahweh what smote the Mennonites or whatever (actually, I think the Mennonites were unsmote), or Morgan Freeman when he’s not narrating penguin movies, or maybe Laurence Oliver, chucking tablets and burning bushes.
I’m in no rush to find the answer, but at least, knowing that BJ is able to communicate with me, I’m content that I will find enough of an answer to satisfy me one day.
—
But I think having the boys cuddling me while we watch a decent movie satisfies me more.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:13 pm
So you’re going back to the office?
January 1st, 2007 at 10:20 pm
exactly … yup.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:21 pm
But I think having the boys cuddling me while we watch a decent movie satisfies me more.
That’s a little slice of Heaven right there. Hang on to that real tight. They don’t stay little and cuddly forever … sez the mom of teens that were babies just yesterday, I swear they were!
January 1st, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Mennonites can be found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mennonite
“Mennonites are committed to nonviolence, nonresistance, and pacifism.”
Nonviolence, nonresistance, and pacifism–none are smiting offenses IIRC.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Come to think of it, they sound alot like hippies.
January 2nd, 2007 at 7:43 am
“That’s hard to intellectualize.”
That’s why it’s called faith, not logic.
George Burns did a memorable rendition as well (oh God, 1977).
January 2nd, 2007 at 8:00 am
Anyone that would smite a Mennonite is a bad bad man.
I think the dude chucking the tablets was Charlston Heston.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0049833/
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:05 am
You’re right. Oliver was letting loose the Kracken in Grecian mythology, I believe.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:36 am
Great post, AT. I’m glad you took time to write it before ending the first day of the new year. Your thoughts make me think of the quote from Shakespeare, A Rose by any other name, etc…, to me means, call it what you want, you know what you know. Add to that, that it isn’t an either/or situation, as in either science or faith..a combo works and makes Life and Death that much more complex and miraculous. It is bright sunshiney morning here and I am off to greet the day. I hope yours is a sunny one, too.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:46 am
Here’s to a manageable year with a minimum of exclamation points or heavy, unarguable periods. Too much punctuation wears you down after a while.
More cuddles, I say.
January 2nd, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Regarding your comment about the boys and your questions about God, I am quite happy in the firm conviction that God is love. How else can love be explained?
January 2nd, 2007 at 6:52 pm
In regard to Jim Carrey: He redeemed himself greatly as Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” which now that I think about it is one of my more favorite movies of the last few years.
I think maybe you ought to wait a while to watch it if you haven’t already seen it, though. It’s about the value of personal relationships and about how all the shit they put us through is pretty well worth it.
January 2nd, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Oh, and it’s a Michel Gondry movie, which gives you some idea of the trippy-ness of it all if you’ve seen his other works (various insane music videos, “Science of Sleep” - also a great but wistful movie about love, etc.)
I guess I’m with you in the search for the hereafter. I’m just not sure I’m capable of grasping the enormity of it all, so why bother? I figure I’m going to find out someday whether I want to or not, so why hasten the process? This sounds flippant, but such is the nature of 2-d communication such as this, occasionally…
January 2nd, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Oh, I dig on some Michel Gondry. I have his video collection on DVD, and Eternal Sunshine was one of our favorite movies.
I’d say Clementine reminds me of BJ, but she really only does in style. BJ was a lot sweeter.
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Ahh, the search for the hereafter. I know it well. I wander into the kitchen, the bedroom, the laundry room … and it takes me a while to remember, “What the heck am I here after?”
*rimshot*