Atomictumor

So I saw that therapist guy today, and while I’d love to tell you that everythings worked out, and at the same time I’d love to tell you that I got pissed, threw an ashtray at the guy, set the office on fire and stormed out, it was somewhere in between that.

All day I was thinking “Why am I going to this thing?”

I’d given up on the idea of quitting work, and I really don’t know if I should start school part time this semester, because while things are relatively easy on me now, they might not be between now and May, and I don’t need more stress in my life in case I have some sort of nervous breakdown (that one that I scheduled, like, way back at the beginning of November).

No, right now is about relieving stress, and going to school, this semester, is not the way to do it.  Besides, today, my first real day back in the office, went pretty nicely.  Sure, working sucks, and I have no patience for people or their dumb problems (”Oh, JT, I forgot my password”… they always call me the wrong name), but hell, what are you going to do?

So, the time for the appointment arrived, and I found myself in an empty office.  Eerily empty.  Like, this guy was the only person in an office that reminded me of the office for a relatively nice apartment complex.  White walls, off white carpet.  Bland paintings.  Leather furniture.

I did notice his laptop was a few years old.  Score one for the AT.

So, I blathered.  I didn’t figure I’d have much to say, and I didn’t allow myself to let any emotion out (hell, I just met this guy), but the more I blather, the more I can let it out.  See, my fingers talk to you guys, but my fingers are pretty stoic, so talking over here doesn’t work me up.  I think talking to a real life bald guy will help.

He agreed, and said that I have ‘rigid defenses’, and that I became more animated when I tell stories about our live, and her death, and thats what he wants to do next week.

OK.  Works paying for it, hell.

When I was in the waiting room, tho, filling out the paperwork, MastaG called from the school.  He had little headaches that kept going and coming, and was feeling a little dizzy.   When I got to Eaves house (who is awesome and was kind enough to pick both of my monsters up, despite having a small truck in her womb right now) he was chattering and acting fine.  I figured he was playing hooky, which didn’t bother me too much, but as the night progressed he womped up one of our family special migraines.

He’s done that before.  I did it frequently when I was a kid, and still do occasionally, and my Dad’s the same way.  Tension headaches, migraines that make light and sound torture and your stomach tie up in knots.

Poor little guy.  Hes in bed now.  He should feel better in the morning, thats how it always was for me, but I’ll let you know.

To all the federal employees out there, enjoying the day off:

I know, in your post New Years resolution breaking, and daytime TV watching on this unexpected day off, you’re having a good time, and not really thinking too much, but remember: you’re off today because of Gerald Ford, the 38th president of these United States. He worked hard for his office, having been appointed to Vice President after Spiro Agnew’s resignation, and then promoted to president when Nixon flashed the victory signs boarding the helicopter.

He proves, that as long as you hang out with people worse than you, good things are bound to happen.

But I bet you don’t know that he:

• Was born in Manhattan
• Was kicked out of several private schools while growing up
• Played drums in a band with Walter Becker and Donald Fagan, who, after his departure, later named the band “Steely Dan”
• Got in a backstage brawl with Bill Murray
• Had a history of addiction to painkillers and heroin
• Was called, in 1975, “The Funniest Man In America” by New York Magazine
• Was quoted in 2000 saying “Socialism works. I think Cuba can prove that.”
• Was Hasty Pudding’s 1993 Man Of The Year.
• Had a late night talk show on Fox canceled in 1993 after only five weeks.
• Said that leaving Saturday Night Live after only a year and a half was the “biggest mistake of my career”

So, remember Gerald Ford, and learn from his rich life.