January 2nd, 2007 by Atomictumor
So I saw that therapist guy today, and while I’d love to tell you that everythings worked out, and at the same time I’d love to tell you that I got pissed, threw an ashtray at the guy, set the office on fire and stormed out, it was somewhere in between that.
All day I was thinking “Why am I going to this thing?”
I’d given up on the idea of quitting work, and I really don’t know if I should start school part time this semester, because while things are relatively easy on me now, they might not be between now and May, and I don’t need more stress in my life in case I have some sort of nervous breakdown (that one that I scheduled, like, way back at the beginning of November).
No, right now is about relieving stress, and going to school, this semester, is not the way to do it. Besides, today, my first real day back in the office, went pretty nicely. Sure, working sucks, and I have no patience for people or their dumb problems (”Oh, JT, I forgot my password”… they always call me the wrong name), but hell, what are you going to do?
So, the time for the appointment arrived, and I found myself in an empty office. Eerily empty. Like, this guy was the only person in an office that reminded me of the office for a relatively nice apartment complex. White walls, off white carpet. Bland paintings. Leather furniture.
I did notice his laptop was a few years old. Score one for the AT.
So, I blathered. I didn’t figure I’d have much to say, and I didn’t allow myself to let any emotion out (hell, I just met this guy), but the more I blather, the more I can let it out. See, my fingers talk to you guys, but my fingers are pretty stoic, so talking over here doesn’t work me up. I think talking to a real life bald guy will help.
He agreed, and said that I have ‘rigid defenses’, and that I became more animated when I tell stories about our live, and her death, and thats what he wants to do next week.
OK. Works paying for it, hell.
When I was in the waiting room, tho, filling out the paperwork, MastaG called from the school. He had little headaches that kept going and coming, and was feeling a little dizzy. When I got to Eaves house (who is awesome and was kind enough to pick both of my monsters up, despite having a small truck in her womb right now) he was chattering and acting fine. I figured he was playing hooky, which didn’t bother me too much, but as the night progressed he womped up one of our family special migraines.
He’s done that before. I did it frequently when I was a kid, and still do occasionally, and my Dad’s the same way. Tension headaches, migraines that make light and sound torture and your stomach tie up in knots.
Poor little guy. Hes in bed now. He should feel better in the morning, thats how it always was for me, but I’ll let you know.
January 2nd, 2007 at 8:51 pm
i am glad today treated you well. :)
January 2nd, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I get those too. Family curse I guess. Hope the little fella gets better.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Poor little pumpkin.
I’ve only had a few of those in my life and that was enough for me.
Sending healing vibes your way.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Bullet, I was telling him that me, you, and the Bisc get them. It didn’t make him feel better, knowing he has company.
Poor guy. He said he had a good day at school. We’ll see how he is tomorrow, if its a headache like mine, he’ll be great in the morning. If he still feels bad, I’ll take him to the doc.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:25 pm
I hate to hear that MastaG is actually not feeling well. Hope he’s feeling better soon. It was nice seeing you boys today.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:49 pm
So you didn’t actually hate the therapist? That is a great sign. I hear sometimes a person has to try several to find a match. You could really blow that guy away if you took some printouts of this place (which I won’t call a blog—since you say you dislike that word). Good job today. You did something good for yourself and were also there for MastaG. It sounds like he had a tough day back at school.
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Hope the big guy feels better! Good start for 2007, your doing well taking care of yourself and kids.
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Here’s hoping the headaches go away soon - those are no fun for anyone, especially in a little boy.
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Glad you chose the Dr. instead of Daco and a beer. Remember, you aint young enough to handle two hang overs in a week, especially with the work thing and all.
O’Douhl’s on a work day, K? ;)
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:02 am
Hey, I resemble that remark.
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:33 am
Glad to see that your first visit went well, hated to hear that Masta G is fighting migraines. Bubba struggles with those ALL the time and they are terrible. Just wanted to say Hey and that we are still here. Not posting a lot as we do not want to be a bother, but we are still praying for you and your family. Stay strong, be courageous, and know we are here anytime.
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:46 am
G is doing great this morning, folks. He’s off at school, and left in a good mood, no headache.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:12 am
I am glad that your trip to the therapist didn’t cause a major destruction of the office. My therapist has soft things I can throw if the need arises.
Sorry about MastaG’s head. I had a migraine yesterday too. By the time I left work, all I wanted was my medicine, an ice pack and a blanket and NO lights and NO sounds whatsoever. I got most of my wish.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:18 am
That Tylenol Migraine really works, although I wouldn’t recommend dispensing one to a kiddo. Maybe a quarter of a dose would be OK, though.
I’ll tell you: I’m watching this program on the high-def channel called ‘Sunrise Earth,’ and I think it may be the most Zen thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Yesterday it was some river in Iceland; this morning it’s rice paddies. Beautiful.
Just a thought for those mornings you’d love to reach out and choke someone.
I think the structure of work may do you good, AT. Due to circumstances, I didn’t have much for a few months after my dad died and I went completely off the rails. Dealing with people when you don’t feel like it sucks, but being left alone at home to not get off the couch or get dressed is its own special torment too, I gotta tell you.
January 3rd, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Major headache here too… 12 yr. old son gave me his special shoulder rub/back walking combo, which usually releives some tension, but neither that nor Tylenol touched it. Woke up feeling great though. Maybe it’s the full moon thing? Glad he woke up feeling good too. And hey, I’m impressed that you came away without cursing Mr. Therapist, it does indeed sound like a good sign. Hang in there.