Comments on: Monkeys on my back http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 03:25:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.2 By: Joel http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18936 Joel Thu, 11 Jan 2007 17:34:42 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18936 I think you can lose the narcissism concern. This is therapy for you, and you have an audience besides yourself, so I'd say this diagnosis is incorrect. What a boy should do is sign up for a college class. You have too much time on your hands and you need a goal to strive for. So a class would distract you and would represent an investment toward a degree in the future. I think you can lose the narcissism concern. This is therapy for you, and you have an audience besides yourself, so I’d say this diagnosis is incorrect.

What a boy should do is sign up for a college class. You have too much time on your hands and you need a goal to strive for. So a class would distract you and would represent an investment toward a degree in the future.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18937 Atomictumor Thu, 11 Jan 2007 17:45:07 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18937 Thats true. I had an appointment for yesterday with the advising center, that I remembered 2 hours after it was over. Friggin Google Calendar not reminding me... Thats true. I had an appointment for yesterday with the advising center, that I remembered 2 hours after it was over.
Friggin Google Calendar not reminding me…

]]> By: Punk HP http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18938 Punk HP Thu, 11 Jan 2007 17:51:27 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18938 Use your Hawk Feather. I saw two circling each other yesterday. Use your Hawk Feather. I saw two circling each other yesterday.

]]> By: Cathy http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18939 Cathy Thu, 11 Jan 2007 18:15:37 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18939 Go back to school AT. Correspondence, Internet, night-class or anything. Still have free time after that? Take up an activity with MastaG. Ham radio, fishing, soccer, scouts, whatever. Quit worrying about the car and enjoy it. Go back to school AT. Correspondence, Internet, night-class or anything. Still have free time after that? Take up an activity with MastaG. Ham radio, fishing, soccer, scouts, whatever. Quit worrying about the car and enjoy it.

]]> By: Jane http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18940 Jane Thu, 11 Jan 2007 18:26:14 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18940 My husband does that too. When his mind is troubled our credit card suffers. http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=07/01/09/2313259 I don't know if I did that right but it should be a link to a lot of open courseware so you can see what the lecturers at all sorts of colleges are doing. You have a great mind and it needs to be worked. Kind of like sheepdogs need something to herd otherwise they are miserable. Not that I'm calling you a dog or anything! My husband does that too. When his mind is troubled our credit card suffers.
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=07/01/09/2313259

I don’t know if I did that right but it should be a link to a lot of open courseware so you can see what the lecturers at all sorts of colleges are doing.

You have a great mind and it needs to be worked. Kind of like sheepdogs need something to herd otherwise they are miserable.

Not that I’m calling you a dog or anything!

]]> By: Jane2 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18941 Jane2 Thu, 11 Jan 2007 18:47:37 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18941 What happened with your therapy? Are you continuing with that? The more talking (or writing) it all out, the better. Sounds like you are doing fine. Don't beat yourself up. Cut yourself whole bunches of slack for the time being. Enjoy the kids; enjoy the car. What happened with your therapy? Are you continuing with that? The more talking (or writing) it all out, the better. Sounds like you are doing fine. Don’t beat yourself up. Cut yourself whole bunches of slack for the time being. Enjoy the kids; enjoy the car.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18942 Atomictumor Thu, 11 Jan 2007 18:54:58 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18942 Well, thats my thing with school, is that I never feel like I have any free time. It seems like I've constantly got some sort of obligation, except for after the kids go to bed, and then before I know it its time for me to start going to sleep. I'm not doing the therapy thing yet, for that reason, really. I went that first time, and had a neutral reaction. I can head back when I need to, but I don't need to now, and I know myself well enough to judge that fairly accurately. Well, thats my thing with school, is that I never feel like I have any free time. It seems like I’ve constantly got some sort of obligation, except for after the kids go to bed, and then before I know it its time for me to start going to sleep.
I’m not doing the therapy thing yet, for that reason, really. I went that first time, and had a neutral reaction. I can head back when I need to, but I don’t need to now, and I know myself well enough to judge that fairly accurately.

]]> By: Denette http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18945 Denette Thu, 11 Jan 2007 20:48:28 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18945 Maybe a different therapist might work better. That retail therapy gets the best of me too. Maybe a different therapist might work better. That retail therapy gets the best of me too.

]]> By: Robin http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18947 Robin Thu, 11 Jan 2007 20:56:54 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18947 lendingtree.com will probably help with the auto loan - these people will try to get your business. lendingtree.com will probably help with the auto loan - these people will try to get your business.

]]> By: impy http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18953 impy Thu, 11 Jan 2007 21:47:50 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18953 I've never been through anything remotely like what you're going through. I went through something fairly shaking, but not your situation. I felt numb, unfocused, tried to focus on the kids and thank god for them. Nothing like a child shouting for replacement TP to keep your mind somewhat grounded. I think, in my totally uneducated opinion that you're doing well. You are suffering. You are reaching out. You are clamming up. You are moving ahead. You are coping. You are looking after the kids. You were open to therapy. You vent, you share, you remember, and you are loving still. You will get through this the very best you can. You will look back and say, ok that all didn't seem so strange in the grand scheme of it all. If you're feeling the weight of the responsibility of the buck stopping with you in regards to parenting/house hold stuff/work,,,maybe thats enough for you to focus on and feel successful for getting thru. Doing stuff with the boys gets my vote. The car? Well you have two precious boys to tote around. Allow yourself this. For you, for them. Just let something be good, and don't kill it with worry. It's the Time Out Buggy. It's not so scary. I’ve never been through anything remotely like what you’re going through. I went through something fairly shaking, but not your situation. I felt numb, unfocused, tried to focus on the kids and thank god for them. Nothing like a child shouting for replacement TP to keep your mind somewhat grounded. I think, in my totally uneducated opinion that you’re doing well. You are suffering. You are reaching out. You are clamming up. You are moving ahead. You are coping. You are looking after the kids. You were open to therapy. You vent, you share, you remember, and you are loving still. You will get through this the very best you can. You will look back and say, ok that all didn’t seem so strange in the grand scheme of it all. If you’re feeling the weight of the responsibility of the buck stopping with you in regards to parenting/house hold stuff/work,,,maybe thats enough for you to focus on and feel successful for getting thru. Doing stuff with the boys gets my vote. The car? Well you have two precious boys to tote around. Allow yourself this. For you, for them. Just let something be good, and don’t kill it with worry. It’s the Time Out Buggy. It’s not so scary.

]]> By: Louise http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18954 Louise Thu, 11 Jan 2007 21:59:52 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18954 First, Core 2 Duo. It's worth the price. I am going to a new doctor tomorrow to see if I can get into see a psychiatrist. I am all wigged out and can't function everyday. I just about broke someone nose today. First, Core 2 Duo. It’s worth the price. I am going to a new doctor tomorrow to see if I can get into see a psychiatrist. I am all wigged out and can’t function everyday. I just about broke someone nose today.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18955 Atomictumor Thu, 11 Jan 2007 22:03:11 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18955 Damn, Louise. I hope things work out, sugar. Damn, Louise. I hope things work out, sugar.

]]> By: Louise http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18956 Louise Thu, 11 Jan 2007 22:09:06 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18956 Thanks, AT. They will. I think the stress of the last year has finally caught up with me. Sometimes loss and grief wait until you can deal with it. Other times, it says deal with me now. I think I just entered now stage. Thanks, AT. They will. I think the stress of the last year has finally caught up with me. Sometimes loss and grief wait until you can deal with it. Other times, it says deal with me now. I think I just entered now stage.

]]> By: Holiday Grinch http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18960 Holiday Grinch Thu, 11 Jan 2007 23:13:11 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18960 Do your damndest to not smoke. If it helps, try to get into the mindset that you will not be manipulated by tobacco companies who are only interested in getting you addicted to their product. It is a terrible addiction, smells bad, and will upset your kids. Enjoy your new car! Do your damndest to not smoke. If it helps, try to get into the mindset that you will not be manipulated by tobacco companies who are only interested in getting you addicted to their product. It is a terrible addiction, smells bad, and will upset your kids.
Enjoy your new car!

]]> By: Netmom http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18962 Netmom Thu, 11 Jan 2007 23:36:46 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18962 "The Time Out Buggy" fits for several reasons. It'll be okay, and there will be another distraction shortly. “The Time Out Buggy” fits for several reasons. It’ll be okay, and there will be another distraction shortly.

]]> By: jenwright http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18980 jenwright Fri, 12 Jan 2007 03:03:48 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18980 I'm going to weigh in with my unsolicited opinion. I think it's obvious that a higher education is in your future because you're so intelligent and it would be a waste to yourself and to society. But, I don't know that I'd rush into it immediately. It will be there when you're ready, and maybe you don't need to juggle so many things at the moment. Maybe a cool hobby would be better at the time. I don't think anyone, whether they've encountered a tragedy this huge or not, can judge what would be best except for you, though. I guess that blanket statement applies to all of the above: doctor, car, school, parenting... Well, all of the above except for the smoking thing. I'd totally kick your ass. Love you! I’m going to weigh in with my unsolicited opinion. I think it’s obvious that a higher education is in your future because you’re so intelligent and it would be a waste to yourself and to society. But, I don’t know that I’d rush into it immediately. It will be there when you’re ready, and maybe you don’t need to juggle so many things at the moment. Maybe a cool hobby would be better at the time. I don’t think anyone, whether they’ve encountered a tragedy this huge or not, can judge what would be best except for you, though. I guess that blanket statement applies to all of the above: doctor, car, school, parenting… Well, all of the above except for the smoking thing. I’d totally kick your ass.
Love you!

]]> By: Aunt Beck http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18981 Aunt Beck Fri, 12 Jan 2007 04:14:01 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18981 Enjoy the car and forget the smokes. That's just trouble and expense that you don't need. Depend on the Lord, and He will continue to give you strength. Please know that we are all still praying for you and the boys. We love you and the little guys. Have a good weekend. Enjoy the car and forget the smokes. That’s just trouble and expense that you don’t need. Depend on the Lord, and He will continue to give you strength. Please know that we are all still praying for you and the boys. We love you and the little guys. Have a good weekend.

]]> By: Jason Dufair http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18982 Jason Dufair Fri, 12 Jan 2007 04:31:49 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18982 I've been in a similar mode, AT. Bought a laptop right after Anna died. New smartphone (partly due to having lost my PDA), new GPS (several family road trips), then new recording gear, microphone, Sansa Rhapsody MP3 player for Christmas. I probably ought to chill. And I've felt a bit wiggy about blogging lately, hence posting silly songs and video of my kids and such. Finding it hard to get into that grief place to let some more out. And it's definitely building up. It's like a battle between hope for the new year and the ultra-buzzkill of being a new widower. I did have a car jones about 2 months ago - for the new VW EOS - convertible hardtop. Let that one subside a bit. I suspect that may flare up again when spring comes. I’ve been in a similar mode, AT. Bought a laptop right after Anna died. New smartphone (partly due to having lost my PDA), new GPS (several family road trips), then new recording gear, microphone, Sansa Rhapsody MP3 player for Christmas. I probably ought to chill.

And I’ve felt a bit wiggy about blogging lately, hence posting silly songs and video of my kids and such. Finding it hard to get into that grief place to let some more out. And it’s definitely building up. It’s like a battle between hope for the new year and the ultra-buzzkill of being a new widower.

I did have a car jones about 2 months ago - for the new VW EOS - convertible hardtop. Let that one subside a bit. I suspect that may flare up again when spring comes.

]]> By: miriam1 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18992 miriam1 Fri, 12 Jan 2007 09:52:08 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-18992 Maybe some kernel of all human creation is narcissism, but I have trouble finding the negative in bloggissism. Seems to me it's one easy way to check in/check out your corner of creation and it is, as you say, cheaper than therapy. Hope you can get the car settled easily so you can get down to enjoying it. Maybe some kernel of all human creation is narcissism, but I have trouble finding the negative in bloggissism. Seems to me it’s one easy way to check in/check out your corner of creation and it is, as you say, cheaper than therapy.

Hope you can get the car settled easily so you can get down to enjoying it.

]]> By: Judy http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-19002 Judy Fri, 12 Jan 2007 12:28:21 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-19002 Hey, I'm all for a new car anytime. Congratulations! i like what Jen said - school is always going to be there. Do it when it feels right. Enjoy those boys. Hey, I’m all for a new car anytime. Congratulations!

i like what Jen said - school is always going to be there. Do it when it feels right.

Enjoy those boys.

]]> By: Atomictumor http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-19007 Atomictumor Fri, 12 Jan 2007 13:44:47 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-19007 Jason, its good to hear from you. Yeah, looks like you and I are in a similar place. Dude, talk about Jones, they had some limited edition retractable hardtop Miatas at the Mazda place. I never did care for the Miata, but damn, these were some lovely cars. Jason, its good to hear from you. Yeah, looks like you and I are in a similar place.
Dude, talk about Jones, they had some limited edition retractable hardtop Miatas at the Mazda place. I never did care for the Miata, but damn, these were some lovely cars.

]]> By: Jean http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-19349 Jean Mon, 15 Jan 2007 05:32:46 +0000 http://www.atomictumor.com/2007/01/11/monkeys-on-my-back/#comment-19349 Voice of experience, here...I smoked a pack or so a day in college, was a social smoker for years, but really ramped up again when my dad died. Also ran up A LOT of credit card bills. You know, part of me feels like it was just something that was bound to happen: I felt SO bad that I can't really say I regret doing whatever I had to do to get through that awful 18 months or so of my life. On the other hand, quitting smoking completely - which I eventually did - and paying off the debt was a real bitch once I started to get my balance back. I wish I'd been able to cope without doing all that stuff but again, in retrospect...if the alternative had been jumping off a bridge, maybe a mild case of black lung and some bills might have been a reasonable alternative. Just some thoughts. Keep on keepin' on. Jean Voice of experience, here…I smoked a pack or so a day in college, was a social smoker for years, but really ramped up again when my dad died. Also ran up A LOT of credit card bills.

You know, part of me feels like it was just something that was bound to happen: I felt SO bad that I can’t really say I regret doing whatever I had to do to get through that awful 18 months or so of my life.

On the other hand, quitting smoking completely - which I eventually did - and paying off the debt was a real bitch once I started to get my balance back. I wish I’d been able to cope without doing all that stuff but again, in retrospect…if the alternative had been jumping off a bridge, maybe a mild case of black lung and some bills might have been a reasonable alternative.

Just some thoughts. Keep on keepin’ on. Jean

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