Atomictumor

We’re wheeling and dealing down at CasaTuma, and have apparently paired up the Volvo with an enterprising young 15 year old go getter who has publicly professed her love for the car.

Woot.

Because, as anybody with a lick of sense knows, the 1983 Volvo Tumormobile is the coolest thing on the road.  Weighing in at a good 3000 lbs or so of pure ass’d swedish steel, and a 2.1 liter fuel injected turbocharged engine boasting a mind boggling 161 ponies, all rip-raring to tear ass down the highway and blow your mind wide open, the Tumormobile is a force to be reckoned with.
Now, the car’s a little pissed at me for being cast aside for the younger, sexier, and curvier 2003 Mazda3, which hasn’t yet picked up a nickname, or the bumper stickers.  The Mazda has that seductive smooth shifting and quick handling common in a front wheel drive car, and has eclipsed the Volvo’s stately charm in mine eye.

So, its finding a new home.  While nothings been inked, I’m tickled pink by the idea of seeing the car around town occasionally.  I might be in some parking spot, walking into a store…

“AT?  Atomictumor?  Is that you?”

“Well I’ll be damned, its the Tumormobile!” I’d reply “So… uh… you look nice.  Looks like the sunroof is fixed, huh?”

“Yes, yes, I’ve been taken care of well.  Things are great for me!”

“Yeah, well thats good.  Things are good for me and the uhh… Mazda.”

“Yes.  The Mazda”

“…”

“…”

Then we’d both say something at the same time, very awkwardly, after another brief silence, I’d give my farewells.

Sigh.  Relationships.

—

However, my personal accountant says that we can use the proceeds from the car, because its income we haven’t really considered, to buy bitchin computer parts, so that I will no longer have to live in the shame of knowing that my son (who, incidentally, HATES the Volvo) has a better computer.  I want a computer that kicks sand in the face of his computer, and then steals its girlfriend.

Yes.  I Have it all figured out.  Videocard, Motherboard, Ram, check.  The other day, I succumbed to the woo of slickdeals.net, and bought a mammoth 500 GB Maxtor SATA hard drive for $130.  No rebates, no bull crap, $130 on the table, free shipping, no tax, mailed to my door.

Damn right son.  At that price, you can’t afford NOT to buy it.  So, that, along with the 250 GB that I bought for, but never installed in, MastaG’s computer, this beast will hold some stuff.  I’m looking at a flat out terabyte of storage.

It’ll be like a black hole.

Thats when I enter phase B of my mighty and devious plan…

—

Additionally, on the geeky relationships, I talked Nextel into bringing my plan down to a restricted one, where I pay 6 bucks a month for the rest of my contract, and don’t have their phone service.  Its a little wrong, but so is paying 250 a line for both of our lines.

This frees me up to persue a new and wonderful life with Verizon, rated with one of 10 ten best call centers, and to purchase a fancy new PDA/Smartphone dealy.  Yessssss.  More technology is what I need.

Then I’ll be awesomer.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 16th, 2007 at 1:00 pm and is filed under Geekery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.