Wow - babies are time consuming!
January 21st, 2007 by Mrs Eaves
It has been 6 days since we came home from the hospital, and I’m just now catching up on my ‘tumor reading. Between Leo, a gaggle of older kids and having to compete for computer time with Bos and my Mom, I just haven’t had much time to devote to reading the ‘tumor right now. I miss it, and am thankful for a few moments today to reacquaint myself. Thanks to Bos, AT and all you great folks out there for the posts, comments, love and support. What a nice feeling it is!
—
I have been tremendously impressed with how the older Cemestos kids have adjusted to having a new baby. October, who had dreaded having another little brother, took to Leo immediately and has been very sweet and helpful. Spotz hasn’t reacted much in general, but is content to hold Leo every once and a while and go about his normal business the rest of the time. Lugnut didn’t quite know what to think of Leo when he was first born, saying “Oh, a cute baby,” but not wanting to come anywhere close to him. He has since changed his tune and prefers to be near him whenever possible.
There have been some brief glimpses of the older kids feeling a bit off. Despite their overall positive reactions, I know that this is a big adjustment for them. For all of us.
—
Emotionally, I am always at my healthiest while pregnant (is that why I kept getting pregnant?). A couple months before becoming pregnant with Leo, I had started seeing a shrink for anxiety issues; I stopped going once I learned I was pregnant - primarily for financial reasons but also because it was an easy out. I liked the lady, but we just weren’t compatible.
Throughout the pregnancy, my anxiety symptoms lessened quite a bit. Now that I’m unpregnant again, I can feel them coming back. It is primarily coming through in my annoying tendency toward hypochondria, which has been exasperated by real-life occurences (BJ’s death, Leo’s scare with Group B strep). Poor Bos - it seems like it’s every five minutes that I’m asking him if this or that symptom seems alarming to him. He’s patient with me, and I really appreciate that.
Being pregnant also gave me a hormonal shot of numbness in dealing with BJ’s death. I’ve had that happen before; my older brother and only sibling died when I was 8 months pregnant with October, and I really didn’t grieve much until well after she was born.
So, being unpregnant starts the grief process with BJ all over again (and I’m sure that massive hormonal fluctuations and baby blues play into this, as well). I don’t talk about it much, and when AT calls to see how we’re doing (because he’s awesome that way), I always have a noncommittal answer. It’s hard for me to show vulnerability, because I’m silly and stubborn that way.
—
There’s sadness, and anxiety. But there’s also such an overwhelming joy flowing through me right now. Leo completes our family, which brings this peaceful sensation that I hadn’t expected or experienced before. Perhaps that’s the Beauty coming through.
January 21st, 2007 at 11:53 am
Eaves, you’re a sweetheart.
January 21st, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Reach out if you need to — these cold, dark January days don’t help. But there’s a lot to celebrate, too!
January 21st, 2007 at 1:14 pm
You’re cute when you get worked up about this or that symptom. Of course two out of the six of us are sick. You’re recovering. Leroy is a newborn w/ all the acompanying grunts, groans and burps (coos, too).
At church today we said, in the prayers of the people, a prayer to deliver us from all our anxieties. That one always catches my attention. May it be true.
January 21st, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way, mama.
Those hormones are something aren’t they?
January 21st, 2007 at 2:18 pm
What a beautifl family you have! I’m just the opposite from you–I’m extremely anxious while pregnant (not about anything, just free-floating anxiety) and it goes away as soon as the baby comes out. Weird.
January 21st, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Eaves, I’ve struggled with anxiety symptoms most of my adult life. I took xanax for a while when I first started “clenching up,” as I call it (and I also feed my beast with all sorts of hypochondriacal and psychosomatic fun). But I eventually came up with my own coping mechanisams, and haven’t taken any pharma for decade or so. But since my mother died in the fall, I’ve been having a harder time staying mellow, and I’m considering having my doc hook me up with a scrip just to help me nip the anxiety in the bud. Sometimes just knowing you can make the ickyness go away is enough to make it go away… I carried those pills around with me for years after I stopped taking them… just knowing they were there if I needed them was enough.
Anyway, hang in there and know you’re not alone. It’s all good.
Keep us posted…
January 21st, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Congrats on a beautiful family! October and my daughter have been classmates and we’ve actually met before. Actually, I’ve met the whole family–Build a bear at the mall (was it last year? maybe..) time flies. It’s nice to see a familiar face on here. Enjoy your babies!!
January 21st, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Alice, It’s funny that you call it “clenching up.”
I realized that what the shrink told the Missus about anxiety fit me to the tee.
Clenching up is what my stomach does when I get worked up about something, or nothing in particular.
January 21st, 2007 at 4:46 pm
It is very easy to get overwhelmed! If you are into vitamins, up the d for a while. It has helped me during the winter. You have a beautiful family!
January 21st, 2007 at 5:02 pm
I’ve heard a lot about vitamin D lately…
January 21st, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Bos, that sounds about right, except I think if you’re worked up about something, it’s stress, but if you’re worked up about nothing in particular, it’s anxiety.
January 21st, 2007 at 6:26 pm
pregnancy suited me well, too.
January 21st, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Those post baby hormones are crazy. I actually hated being pregnant and then when I wasn’t anymore I was sad. Hang in there! My best friend has 4 kids too. I love going to their house because that’s where the action is!
January 22nd, 2007 at 1:08 pm
After birth was hard for me too. I’m not sure if it was because of baby blues or just trying to readjust to a life with a baby. Being a stay at home Mom after working since 15 was hard at first, not being able to go out much and just having a baby in dreary January got me down. If you ever need anything let any of us know. I don’t know you very well but I’m always up for helping another Mom out.
January 22nd, 2007 at 2:49 pm
I went thru similar stuff - I’ve been treated on and off for anxiety and depression but it always went away while I was pregnant. After the baby was born (or babies in the case of my twins) the symptoms always returned.
I asked my therapist (BTW - shop around. They aren’t one size fits all and most will understand if you’re not “fitting” well and want to stop) about it and you know what she said? You had greater, bigger things going on: You were doing God’s work.
hmph. yeah, that makes sense!
Get yourself some Paxil, relax, feel better, be happy. If you had high blood pressure, you would take something to fix it. Anxiety only gets worse if untreated.
Congrats on your beautiful famiily. I have 4 kiddos too and understand your comment about feeling “complete”.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:07 pm
My wife noted that life was a lot easier emotionally when she was carrying W. It was very, very noticeable. But when the pregnancy was over this went south fast and hard. I am not saying this to scare you — I had friends who got me worried that Katy was going to go crazy and drowned W in the bath tub “like that woman from Texas” they would say. What wonderful friends they were to just feed into me need to worry about one more thing . . . I have suffered from anxiety and depression for years. Any you know it comes from a very real place. I tried talk thearpy and the like but the truth is that it runs in the family. Has for geneartions. Sure they called it different things. For instance, for my grandfather he was a “social drinker”. To bad there was nothing social going on at work at 10am for him to be drinking. For my parents generation it was something else, and for me and my genearation it is called anxiety/depression. I got through season of things being just fine and other where things are not so fine. Usually durring the winter months. I have a light box and an ion generator when I sleep. It may all just be voodoo but it seems to work. By the way, W is still alive and the wife is doing alright. I don’t think I need to tell you (being a male and all) that your body has been through a lot. It went from hosting a baby to not hosting a baby in a matter of hours. Usually when someone has something happen to them to that degree they go into shock. I remember that Wife missed the closeness she felt when she had W inside of her. She said that when it was all over she missed having another person around inside her.
tg
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Oh, by the way, your family is too cute. It should be illegal how cute they are.
tg