Atomictumor

This morning I woke up for my usual routine of rolling over in bed and going to work. For those not familiar with working from home, this is how its done:

5:42 AM - Alarm goes off. Cuss at it, hit snooze button. Roll over.

5:51 AM - Alarm goes off again. Ponder why snooze is at 9 minute intervals, while cussing at it. Hit snooze button again. Roll over the other way, pick up laptop, connect to VPN, pull up remote desktop connection to work computer, activate phone client, insert Bluetooth dongle (heh), roll back over.

6:00 AM - Alarm goes off for third time, but since you haven’t had a chance to go to sleep after the exertions of 5:51, just glare at it. Turn alarm off. Turn lamp on. Pick up computer, which by now has made the connection to the remote desktop. Turn on Bluetooth headset, place on ear, log into phone client, pull up work applications. Prop head on pillows, place laptop on stomach, and work.

6:30 AM - Phone rings with caller needing technical support. Realize you had been asleep.  Snap awake, sit up straight. Resolve call. Go to bathroom. Start 4 cups coffee. Do 30 sit-ups.  Pour cup of coffee.  Enjoy.  Pick out music to wake kids up to.
6:45 AM - Play music.  Open kids room doors.  Wake boys up, get them excited for day.  Deflect complaints, arguments,  cries of mercy.  Probably take a call in the middle of it. Resolve call.

7:00 AM - Still working, make sure that kids are dressed, fed (but not too much, so they can have school breakfast).  Ensure that MastaG has not slacked on presenting things to sign.  Go on bug hunt with Pigpen.  Complain at MastaG for turning computer game on so early in morning.

7:15 AM - Take break from work to take shower.

7:25 AM - Shoe children, send them out door.

7:30 AM - Lock door, load up kids, start car.

7:31 AM - Stop car, unlock door, go back inside house to get Pigpen’s backpack at his request.  Note to self that Pigpen doesn’t USE backpack.
7:45 AM - Drop MastaG off at school.

7:46 AM - Commisserate with Pigpen vis a vis his not wanting to go to school.  Try to cheer him up, fail miserably.  Worry.

7:52 AM - Drop Pigpen off.

8:05 AM - Arrive at work.

Pretty straightforward, right?

Now, if you remove an aspect of this perfectly organizeed timeline, like, oh, say, your computer at work being dead, thus rendering you unable to work from home, it changes things to something like this:

5:42 AM - Alarm goes off. Cuss at it, hit snooze button. Roll over.

5:51 AM - Alarm goes off again. Ponder why snooze is at 9 minute intervals, while cussing at it. Hit snooze button again. Roll over the other way, pick up laptop, connect to VPN, pull up remote desktop connection to work computer, activate phone client, insert Bluetooth dongle (heh), roll back over.

6:00 AM - Realize that you’re not connecting to work computer.  Call guy at the office, ask him to reboot it.

6:10 AM - Still unable to enter.  Cuss.  Threaten computer.

6:20 AM - Give up, go back to sleep.

6:42 AM - Wake up.  Start coffee.  Realize that today is going to suck anyway, forego sit-ups.

And so forth.

It ends with writing a half hearted post about how the day sucks, and realizing that there are most likely going to be 3 just like it coming right afterwards.  Whee!

—

BTW, IT took the computer, and returned it saying its working, but they’re not sure whats wrong with it.  Could be power supply, could be motherboard, might want to back up.

Weak.

Well folks, today is the most depressing day of the year.

According to scientists who undoubtedly get paid more than you and I to determine these things, January 22nd has a combination of bad weather, Christmas debt, and broken New Years resolutions to combine in to a destructive force of depressive badness.

Kinda like Voltron, but without the lions, or skinny blonde chick.

So, in honor of blue monday, I’m going to cheer you all up.

There you go.

It has been 6 days since we came home from the hospital, and I’m just now catching up on my ‘tumor reading. Between Leo, a gaggle of older kids and having to compete for computer time with Bos and my Mom, I just haven’t had much time to devote to reading the ‘tumor right now. I miss it, and am thankful for a few moments today to reacquaint myself. Thanks to Bos, AT and all you great folks out there for the posts, comments, love and support. What a nice feeling it is!

—

I have been tremendously impressed with how the older Cemestos kids have adjusted to having a new baby. October, who had dreaded having another little brother, took to Leo immediately and has been very sweet and helpful. Spotz hasn’t reacted much in general, but is content to hold Leo every once and a while and go about his normal business the rest of the time. Lugnut didn’t quite know what to think of Leo when he was first born, saying “Oh, a cute baby,” but not wanting to come anywhere close to him. He has since changed his tune and prefers to be near him whenever possible.

There have been some brief glimpses of the older kids feeling a bit off. Despite their overall positive reactions, I know that this is a big adjustment for them. For all of us.

—

Emotionally, I am always at my healthiest while pregnant (is that why I kept getting pregnant?). A couple months before becoming pregnant with Leo, I had started seeing a shrink for anxiety issues; I stopped going once I learned I was pregnant - primarily for financial reasons but also because it was an easy out. I liked the lady, but we just weren’t compatible.

Throughout the pregnancy, my anxiety symptoms lessened quite a bit. Now that I’m unpregnant again, I can feel them coming back. It is primarily coming through in my annoying tendency toward hypochondria, which has been exasperated by real-life occurences (BJ’s death, Leo’s scare with Group B strep). Poor Bos - it seems like it’s every five minutes that I’m asking him if this or that symptom seems alarming to him. He’s patient with me, and I really appreciate that.

Being pregnant also gave me a hormonal shot of numbness in dealing with BJ’s death. I’ve had that happen before; my older brother and only sibling died when I was 8 months pregnant with October, and I really didn’t grieve much until well after she was born.

So, being unpregnant starts the grief process with BJ all over again (and I’m sure that massive hormonal fluctuations and baby blues play into this, as well). I don’t talk about it much, and when AT calls to see how we’re doing (because he’s awesome that way), I always have a noncommittal answer. It’s hard for me to show vulnerability, because I’m silly and stubborn that way.

—

There’s sadness, and anxiety. But there’s also such an overwhelming joy flowing through me right now. Leo completes our family, which brings this peaceful sensation that I hadn’t expected or experienced before. Perhaps that’s the Beauty coming through.

Got a stiff shoulder
Singin the woke up sore blues
Stretch it out, brother

Build a tent, Daddy
Pigpen wants it in playroom
Its too messy, son

So he’s cleaning up
With the air of a martyr
While I make pancakes

White Stripes play Black Math
On the turntable right now
Don’t turn it up TOO loud.

Pigpen calls me in
OK, the room is clean, Dad
Looks just the same, man

Rainy day outside
Feel like sittin on the porch
But rain would find me

Like a summer rose
Needs a summer rain, says Jack
Time to flip pancakes.

—

Edit: Later on
Compromises have been made.
The playroom half clean

No tent is set up
Instead, Thomas is stationed
In the living room

MastaG, meanwhile
Is oblivious to all
but computer games

I had today off, figuring that what I’d need is a three day weekend with nothing to do, so I did, essentially, nothing.

Bos had contacted me by super secret Atomictumor communication methods and told me that he and the Missus were getting ‘cabin fever’, and they were heading to K-Town. I had a prior obligation with two cups of coffee and a messy house, so I figured I’d catch up with them later.

I popped on some Sufjan, drank of the coffee (and lo, it was good) and cleaned that bad boy up. I took a shower, shaved, and trimmed my beard, so now my original rugged sex appeal is augmented by a manly beard. I had a smile on my face the whole time.

By the time I was done, I popped outside to enjoy a celebratory cigar inch, and figured out what I was going to do with the rest of my day. After calling Bos and Eave’s house, I was informed that they, infected as they were with cabin fever, had already made way down to Knoxville. Having little better to do, I took off to find them.

They were going to Sam’s Club, as is their clubby wont, so after a nice drive in my little car that I appreciate more and more every day, I was scouting out the parking lot.

No Cemestos van.

Hmm.

So, I headed over to Best Buy, to peek at all the geeky stuff that I never get a chance to peek at. It was fun perusing stuff, but its SO MUCH more expensive in person than it is online. That, and its all sorts of fun to get home and find boxes out on the porch. They don’t even have to have anything in them.

After realizing that Best Buy is a bit of a waste of time (who knew?), I figured I’d go to Comp USA, but the intersection of N. Peters and Cedar Bluff convinced me of the wisdom of giving up that idea and heading back to Oak Ridge.

So, I did that. I was listening to Odelay, which is a fantastic album for a global warming January, and the drive was quick. I had a bit of a hunger to me, so I headed to the Time Out Deli.

Now, I know I’ve talked about the Time Out, and anybody who knows me knows of my affection for the joint, but damn, Time Out Deli rocks. It totally rocks. ESB and French Broad beers on tap, and a Chicken in a Sack that makes you want to get up and dance.

Apparently, now they’re ordering T-shirts, and have agreed to save me one. Woot. I’ll wear a Time Out Deli T-shirt.

See, I’m a t-shirt guy. I have a particular style in which I am very comfortable. I’ve never figured myself a vain person, but there’ve only been a couple of periods in my life when I could look in a mirror and like what I see. One was back in 2000, when I had my long hippy hair, and could fit into this bitchin old 70s leather jacket that BJ’s dad used to wear.

The other time is now. I’m in better shape than I’ve been in a long time, I’m eating better, and I feel better. Sure, I have an average of a cigar a day, but everybody needs a vice, right?

My hair is at a length that I like, my manly beard is, well, manly, and I have wicked awesome shoes.  And a nice car.  The ol’ ego is doing well.

But thats not what we’re talking about, is it?

Anyway, after Time Out, I swung by the park behind the library, walked around in short sleeves, and drank in the absolute beauty of the day.  That smile was still plastered on there.   It was a great thing to do.  Just a hair chilly, but another year of good ol’ global warming will take care of that.

Then I swung by the Oak Ridge Observer, where I got yet another t-shirt (royal purple, very nice), and a subscription to their paper.  I stayed and chatted with a couple of folks there.  Its good to live in a town where people that work at the paper know you.

Then I picked up Pigpen, played with Transformers, picked up G, and here we are.

Gotta love beautiful sunny Fridays in Oak Ridge!