So the Missus asks me if I asked off for when I have to get my permanent crown put in my mouth.
I said, “*&@$!, no.” Then I whacked the desk I’m sitting at for emphasis.
The Missus said, “you know, you don’t need a PDA.” She went on, “you need a pocket sized wife.”
Hello.
My name is A. Tom Ictuma, and I am writing with regards to the news in the most recent Oak Ridger indicating that there is talk of naming a street after the venerable group, The Oak Ridge Boys.
I find this to be absolutely fantastic news, in that Oak Ridge is giving handouts to 70s- 80s entities that don’t necessarily do much for the town. I mean, sure, they’re driving people into town just on the huge name recognition and marketing juggernaut that the Oak Ridge Boys are. In fact, as Big Daddy Duane Allen said “If they don’t appreciate and value the free publicity we have given Oak Ridge, then that’s their problem,”, but they don’t LIVE here, and I don’t think they really vote here. I’ve not seen them opening schools, or parks, and I haven’t seen the massive helicopters and limos with long beards at the grocery store recently.
Yes, they are headlining a concert at the Secret City Festival, which I’m sure will bring in the 18-29’s in force, but I’d imagine they’re getting paid away from the casinos and county fair gigs that have been dominating the attention of the mighty band by big Oak Ridge dollars, so its not so much like they’re doing the town a favor, as like they’re, you know, selling a service, and the town is buying, right?
I have another idea.
Lets name the street after ME, because as another a lame 70’s-80’s entity, and one who gives some mean name recognition to this town, I do it for free.
So, Atomictumor Avenue. Lets consider it.
Thank you for your time and attention.
A. Tom Ictuma.