Atomictumor

For the security minded of us out there, a company in North Carolina is marketing paint that will reportedly block certain wavelengths.   While this is marketed towards government and corporate entities looking for a little more oomph in their security, I’m seeing it pretty strongly in favor of protecting one from the dangerous mind control alpha rays that the Government, along with assistance from the dog aliens out at Sirius, have been broadcasting since the late 50s.

As we all know, the natural counters of these alpha rays, namely, tin foil, nicotine, red meat, and burning fossil fuels, are all being attacked by a vast conspiracy designed to obliterate all resistance to these vicious control rays.  Luckily, the good people at EM-SEC have produced this paint.  Now, I’m certain that its not been rated by the FDA for body use (as they are controlled by the Council of Foreign Relations, who themselves are lackeys of the Dogons of Sirius), but I’m certain that EM-SEC has ensured that it will be safe for human use.

Now, what I suggest is getting an old style, lead lined bathtub, and filling it up with the paint.  The color doesn’t matter, but personally, I think a nice green would be appropriate.  Soak yourself in the paint for upwards of 20 minutes per day, and you should see the urges to do things like pay attention to Anna Nicole Smith’s ongoing deathwatch, American Idol, and Katie Couric start to subside.

A public service announcement from Atomictumor.