Atomictumor

When I was in late high school and early college, I used to take these road trips down to Athens, GA. I would go alone and stay two or three days, visiting coffee shops, walking around downtown, observing the locals, writing in notebooks. These trips were great therapy for me. As a teenager, I felt burdened by social pressures and expectations; but in Athens, where I knew no one, I felt like I could be any Miss Eaves I wanted to be. And when I returned home from these trips, I could settle back into myself and my roles feeling refreshed and renewed.

Fast forward nine+ years to last Friday. Having felt especially droopy and stressed lately, I decided to take myself out of the house. Alone. No kids, no expectations. Lucky for me, Christabel and the Jons were playing at Alive After 5 at the KMA.

I’ve done very few things by myself since getting hitched and having kids, and going to this show was reminiscent of my Athens trips. Walking into the KMA in my striped knee-high socks and looking at the crowd, I was overwhelmed at the sensation of not knowing anyone (with one exception, the band’s violinist). I felt so wonderfully anonymous. The tables were already filled, mostly with older folks, so I got myself a glass of wine at the cash bar and chose a spot off to the side where I could people watch. And I watched and watched and watched. I blogged it in my head the whole time - unfortunately, my brain doesn’t have a ’save and continue editing’ feature.

After a little while, Christabel and the Jons came on. I must thank AT for introducing me to this band. I had heard of them before, having gone to middle and high school with the violinist, but hadn’t taken the time to listen to them until they were recommended by AT. I was positively giddy the first time I listened to their album, Love and Circumstances, and then, watching them play, became equally giddy. They are amazing. They inspire my droopy, stressed-out self to let go and just dance (or at least stand and tap my toes with a goofy, star-struck grin on my face).

Though I didn’t know anyone there at first, that changed as the night went on. First, I saw some friends of the ‘tumor…I’m sorry I didn’t come and introduce myself. Social anxiety can be a real bitch sometimes, and I don’t say that tritely. Later, I saw a girl from high school that I vaguely remembered, and finally, an old friend from high school. Despite the original joy of my own anonymity and the anonymity of the crowd, it was good to see familiar faces.

I had a great time. Fortunately, they play quite often, and I hope to see them again soon, perhaps accompanied by my dear Bos or maybe October. Having time alone is good, and absolutely necessary sometimes, but sharing things you love with those you love is good, too.

East Cleveland has run out of salt.

See, it could be worse.