Atomictumor

Cuz I finally got around to watching the first episode of the second season of Frisky Dingo last night.

Love me some Killface

Ah, fall, the season when the great opiate of the masses cleans out the pipe…

So, lets say you have a job.

Its in front of a computer, doing, oh, lets say, local government work. For a county. And your employer, well, they’re dicks about what websites you go to. Sure, you don’t need to be going to jigglygirls.com, or poopchute.net, but lets say you, in the interests of fair discourse, want to go to a local forum, or the website of a local government official.

But man, damned if those rat bastards, those pig fornicating administrative assistants and IT goons aren’t trying to keep you down. Sure, they want you to go to some websites, like the personal ‘news’ website of one of the head honchos, where the news is conveniently pre-filtered and pre-slanted, or maybe to a forum on a local newspaper, where, well, there are other issues, but they’re keeping you down, and not letting you get to where the ACTION is.

Lets just assume that they’re using a content filtering system. Like, say, Sonicwall. Yes, they’re used for filtering bad out of the school websites, so its just natural that you, the grown up working for the .gov, is going to end up being on the business end of the filter stick. Why? Because dammit, these local people just KNOW that they know better than you, they’re doing you a favor and keeping you from going places where you’ll see DISSIDENT opinions.

Hell, if we’re lucky, we might even get into seeing some of these Beijing internet cops that have been in the media lately, looking all cute and cuddly, but all set to handcuff you to a pipe and beat you in the kidneys with FAH Q sticks if you wander down the wrong internet corridor.

Well, don’t say I never did you no favors.

Because circumventing dumbassery is a hobby of mine, and IT is a profession, and dammit freedom is a GOD GIVEN RIGHT, particuarly freedom from political bullshit, I offer you the linked suggestion for a fix.

Now, I preface this by saying there are two fixes here. This is essentially a proxy, and the use of it will surely be viewed as a transgression on IT policy, so they might strap you to the table for it if they catch you, but truth is, they probably won’t. Because the IT guys think the administrative assistant and the political stuff, as we do, is a load of crap, they’re probably not going to bend over backwards to bust you.

Still, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.

Now, if they block that first little linky thing, theres another link with instructions on creating your own proxy on your home (non-work) computer. I neither suggest nor, uh, don’t suggest that you follow instructions and modify computers around, and will under no circumstances fix problems caused by this or comfort you when your computer explodes.

However, I will say “Welcome, pilgrim, to the promised land. The land where the geeks rule, and the good old boys with their power craving weird goat sucking fetishes don’t even realize it”.

Or, I might just say “give me a beer.”

Now, with my kids starting soccer (which is another story alltogether), I’m starting to see the dollar signs popping up in my eyes.

Hells yes, people, ol’ AT isn’t one to shy away from exploiting hitherto unknown talents in the children for personal financial gain. Not that I’m planning to sell them to a circus or something (how profitable is that, anyway?) but that I won’t say no to big soccer money. So, in that vein, I’ve started trying to pay attention to soccer, to find out who I’m going to need to network, or off, or whatever.

So it is with dismay that I find out that David Beckham, whom I last saw crying like a baby during the final match of the 2006 World Cup, has managed to injure himself, AGAIN.

In researching his problems, from that little crying incident during the World Cup, to his marrage to one of England’s skankiest washups, to a broken ankle in 2002, to a flying monkey attack in 2005, its easy to see that Becks just isn’t doing too well. Maybe that kind of weenie behavior works out in England, where they say “oi” instead of “hay”, but dammit, the boy lives in the US, and he needs to straighten up and fly right, dammit.

Which leads me to my point.

Uh.

Anyway, Beckham sucks.  I mean, seriously.

So, on September 14th of this year, the mighty ‘tumor is gonna be 2 years old.

Which is old enough to drink where I come from.

So what we’re going to do is throw a shindig over at the Original Time Out Deli here in Oak Ridge, because hell, they got kegs, and lots of food, and TVs and whatnot, and because they said they’d keep all the riffraff out while we partayed.

We’re going to be throwing this thing down on Saturday, September 15th 2007, starting about 6 PM or so on account of the UT game being at 3:30, we’ll accomidate all you weird football fans having to watch sweaty grown men rolling around on the grass by starting late. I’d love to say that theres gonna be a deal on the food, or that I’ll pay for it, or something, but hell no. Nope, you’re own your own there, but what I will bring is the par-tay.

Bring your frisbees, juggling sticks, prescription medications, ninja stars, children, bits of leather, rocks, and stuff down.

But do me a favor, and throw an RSVP to my email address and say “Dude. I’m gonna be at your party, and its gonna be freakin awesome”

Because, lets face it, what would you have done this year without the ‘tumor?

So, as Netmom has pointed out, apparently the embargo placed on this fine website, Atomic City Talk, Netmom’s place, and Bull Moose’s page by the powers that run the Anderson County government internet filtering system has now been lifted.

Now, I’m not sure who’s in charge over there regarding this, and I really don’t care. I’m sure, knowing IT, the order was placed by some administrative assistant, somebody in a sad little job, always a bridesmaid, never a bride, trying as hard as possible to please those amazingly charismatic and powerful individuals who’ve been vested power over a WHOLE COUNTY.

I’m sure they popped it in there to block websites that don’t necessarily follow the party line, critical of the good old boy system, or maybe just critical of goverment and government figures in general. People who expect, however unreasonably, a county government that is transparent, benevolent, and respondent to the needs of its constituency. People who, with this expectation, have found electronic avenues to speak this belief, and, for whatever reason, trouble the brows of certain people in this government, whom this lowly, desperate, sad little administrative assistant wishes so desperately to please.

Heres a message for you:

Ready?

You suck.

Thank you,

Atomictumor