September 8th, 2007 by Atomictumor
As we were driving home with the Biscuit and his pop (that’d be my grandfather), we were discussing how the nature of Punchbug has changed over time. from the early 80s when a drive 
was a constant scan to make sure you found the 5 punchbugs/mile before your sister did, to now where you are lucky to see one.
Which led us to discussing the rules.
Like how modern “New Beetles” don’t friggin count. Now, Biscuit disagreed, but MastaG and I were adamant. If you hit on a New Beetle, be prepared to get your ass kicked.
Which got me to thinking about the rules of Punchbug, which seem to differ. Let me lay down how it works in Oak Ridge.
1. Classic Beetle gets one hit on the shoulder. Should the hitter be mistaken, and hit on a New Beetle, or a Karman Ghia, or a cake cleverly disguised to be a Beetle, or a small child, or anything that isn’t a classic Beetle, the person hit may immediately take three retaliatory hits on the hitter, normally with a spoken phrase starting with “Hell no…”
2. The same Beetle may not be hit on twice during the same flow of movement. If the Beetle is in traffic with you, and is called out as a Punchbug, it may not be hit on again. Even if you’re behind it all the way to Alaska. Now, if you were to stop in Omaha on the way to consider what a horrible wasteland of a place the town is, while the beetle moves ahead, but then stops in like Wyoming (don’t ask) and then you meet up with it again somewhere in British Columbia, the beetle is fair game.
Why?
Because the flow of movement was interrupted.
By the same token, if you go to the gas station and pass a parked Beetle, you may use it as a Punchbug on BOTH TRIPS, provided that the trip was interrupted by the engine stopping and somebody getting out of the car to pump gas or rob the place.
The punishment for double punching a punchbug, no matter who is the hitter and who is the hittie, is HITTIE’S CHOICE of three (3) shoulder punches, or one (1) charlie horse on the leg.
3. Thats about it. Theres probably more, but I can’t remember, and MastaG disagreed with me on the flow of traffic situation, saying that after an hour a previously punched punchbug is fair game.
Respect the code.
September 8th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
No wonder I’m all bruised up after a car ride with the kids - I had no idea there were so many rules to the punch-buggie (VA kids version) game. And they have to yell the color too, like “Punch-Buggie Green!”
September 8th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Dude, I HATE the punchbug game. I’m one of those people that if there was only 1 classic punchbug left in the whole world and we happened upon it and you called it and punched me, I would still charlie-horse you.
I DO NOT PLAY PUNCHBUG GAME!
September 8th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
In that case, Bullet, there’d be a fight in the back seat. Maybe thats why you hate Punchbug, because you had some sort of big brother that whaled on you mercilessly growing up.
Hmm.
September 8th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Maybe, maybe. But, if I had some big dumb brother that did that I probably would have just told mom and she would have reached across the van and slapped him (because she hates that game too). *tongue now sticking out*
September 8th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
AT, I completely disagree with the lame rules you just made up. First of all, rule number one is you can’t make up your own rules, even if your punkass kid agrees with you. Of course new beetles count, or else you’d get a hit once a year, tops. According to my book of rules, you have to wipe off the hit and say “no tag backs”. Duh. Or else you’re wide open to get puched back. I’ll probably punch you back anyways.
September 8th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
My 8 year old counts every bug, but then so does my husband. KK gets all squirmy when we get near the dealershiop and then explodes into “punch buggy! No take backs!”"punch buggy! No take backs!”"punch buggy! No take backs!”"punch buggy! No take backs!”
you get the idea…
September 8th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Tag backs are dumb. Why would tag backs apply to punchbugging? No.
And new beetles count if you’re a loser.
So, Jen, I guess you’re a loser. Sorry.
September 8th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Arlene, you might not be a loser since you’re not related to me.
September 8th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
This reminds me of the movie Dumb and Dumberer (2nd spin off of original) where they are in the store playing “tag your it” and the clerk got involved. That probably makes me a loser since I’ve actually seen the movie. I’m special. :-)
September 9th, 2007 at 8:01 am
OK…I have an addendum to the rules:
Popeyes: Should the puncher spy an eligible buggy with one headlight out, the puncher, upon calling said buggy, may take both the customary shot in the arm against the punchee, as well as a free charlie-horse shot.
Also, new Beetles count, or we’d never get to play.
September 9th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Right on, Spoonbender. AT and his antiquated ideals regarding punch bugs! You’re just a snob.
I’d like to point out that in Indiana popeyes are called “padiddle”. Ask my husband…
September 9th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Personally, I think the Bullet could kick the living shyte outta you AT. Bug or no bug.
BTW…as the previously proud owner of a ‘74 beetle…no bug with the moter up front is a real bug.
Anyone that punches on a new beetle should be put out of the vehicle and run over by the next passing drunk.
September 9th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Hmmm.. That’s pretty serious, Daco. Remind me to never play the punch bug game with you, cause that would suck.
September 10th, 2007 at 6:56 am
Rules is rules sugar.
September 10th, 2007 at 11:14 am
You have to say the color!!
September 10th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Punchbuggie and padiddle here in Mass means double-punch, no hit backs EVER, and New Beetles are NOT bugs -they’re stupid cars for people trying to relive something that has passed. Get over it.
right there with ya on that. In Mass there are tons and tons of VWs somehow, miraculously still on the road. We had a ‘67 minibus as our family wagon. Ex hubby still has it.
September 11th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
At my house we included New Bugs and the ‘no punchbacks’. It really got ‘off the hook when’ we decided that PT Cruisers were also fair game. We all developed permanent bruises when any retro car became permissable (like remodeled Thunderbirds and Chevy SSRs). Then Mom declared an armistice.