September 28th, 2007 by Atomictumor
Week ago or so, this came out in the news:
“The White Stripes announced today that they are canceling their forthcoming tour due to health issues. Meg White is suffering from acute anxiety and is unable to travel at this time…”
Sucks, Meg.
I never really pondered anxiety problems until BJ got sick last year, and even then I never suffered from them, but was more aware of the friends of mine who do so. Depression has always been my go to mental crutch, so much so that sometimes its like slipping on an old shoe, a ratty one, with holes in it that let the cold air in but still somehow make your feet numb and sweaty.
Its interesting, sometimes, how the more things change, the more they stay the same. I’ve avoided talking much about myself around here lately, because I’ve been doing well about not talking about myself, but it’s been in there trying to sweet talk me into coming out, and I guess I’m not paying much attention right now.
I was talking to the ladyfriend the other day, who by now has been pretty aqquainted with some of the interesting and varied ways that my moods change, and it became clear to me that part of me still isn’t back to full function yet. I get glimpses of it, like in the way that I HAD to go learn that Olivia Tremor Control song that was stuck in my head the other day on the guitar, or in the way that for the first time in years I’m having snatches of memory from dreams the night before. She supposed that perhaps my right brain, what with all the art and expansive thinking and whatnot, might be taking a longish nap, and I guess that makes a certain amount of sense.
Things are going great in AT land. The ladyfriend is a wonderful, wonderful woman, and we’re getting along swimmingly. The kids enjoy her company, which was always something I wondered about. She (being a reader of the ‘tumor for a while) knows about the past, and I (being in a similar social circle as her) know about hers. That presents no obstacle at all, and thats something that I honestly didn’t think any woman would get over in dating me.
She’s put up with my unpredictible mood changes with understanding (and some confusion). Most importantly, tho, she’s made me feel better every time it comes up. Its a great thing.
I’m still stressed. My shoulders and larger muscles tighten up from it. But its getting better.
And, hell, at least I’m not anxious…
September 28th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I am really looking forward to meeting your LF. Anyone who’s as good for you as she seems to be is good in my books.
September 28th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Glad you, the kids, and lady friend are doing good. Easy for me to say, and I know you have heard it till your sick of it, but give yourself time. You, the boys, hell the whole family has had a very dramatic year. I for one think your doing very well.
September 28th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
P.S.
I do miss the kids pictures you update us with.
September 28th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
[…] Here is an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt“The White Stripes announced today that they are canceling their forthcoming tour due to health issues. Meg White is suffering from acute anxiety and is unable to travel at this time…” Sucks, Meg. I never really pondered anxiety … […]
September 28th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Ah, good old anxiety… my running buddy.
It’s funny and frustrating how I’m unable to turn off the anxiety. People say, “don’t worry,” but that’s about like telling me to stop being drunk while I’m in the midst of being drunk.
September 28th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Going thru my divorce about 5 or 6 years ago brought on social anxiety and OCD in ways I never thought possible. It was absolutely crippling. I would walk out of the house, go down my 3 flights of stairs and go right back up to check the iron, locks, stove, water, iron, locks, stove, water… and on and on. I would go back up 3 or 4 times. I lost about 20 pounds from all the stairs! LOL! Depression for me means incredible muscle pain. Exercise cured me more than the meds ever could.
September 28th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Bos…come on now mate…whenever did you get drunk?
September 29th, 2007 at 12:46 am
I went through what you went through back in the early eighties. Like you I had (still have) a young child and a life that had to go on immediately after I lost my wife. We took the hit, fell down and got up with a few stumbles bobs and weaves. After a year or so, the impact really began to hit both of us. Like a volcano trapped inside a rock cap, it eventually exploded on me. My daughter started to manifest the loss too. There isn’t much I can say except we both ended up in counseling for a while. I needed to find a third party to unload on. It was tough on my daughter too. She needed a strong base to rely on and I began to crack up a bit - that was hard on her, plus she needed to talk with a grief counselor too. So it was a double whammy for her. We survived the tsunami that came back from a distant shore. But sometimes even now, I miss her more than I ever thought I would.. And my daughter does too. It’s like driving away from the Grand Canyon. Everything around is flat and normal, but for quite a distance, you can tell there is a big hole behind you.
October 1st, 2007 at 2:07 pm
I never realized just how much anxiety I was carrying around until I met my LF (nice term - I’ve just been sticking with “trophy girlfriend” myself). I proceeded to meet her, fall hard for her (and she for me), and the freak the fuck out. I’m also not guilty. Not prone to that. Just generally tripping some. She’s been patient and tenacious. She’s a very, very fine woman. And, yes, if I was dating me, I might not have had the vision to stick around with me. I’m much more up and down than I would have thought.
FWIW, I’ve been reading “The Mindful way Through Depression” - eastern meditation meets western MRI scans. Good shit and finally helping me become more mindful of my anxiety and depression. I worry about my kids A LOT.
Anyway, just catching up with your last hundred or so posts (nice T-shirt!), having been caught up in (not-very-electric) ladyland and it’s interesting to see us in similar shoes, AT. Keep us posted.