Atomictumor

In collaboration with the Hollywood Writers Guild and whatnot, I’m officially going on strike, and will be picketing the internet.

After associates of Atomictumor.com Awesome Industries spent 11 hours over the weekend in contract negotiations with the Internet, we have failed to reach a sensible agreement.

Among my demands,

• a 2% increase of a percentage of all gross revenue taken by the internet,
• a boat,
• 3 tickets to the aquarium,
• 2 midgets (OK, little people),
• A trained seal,
• A computer connected to my mind, so that I can be the first “headblogger”,
• A cheeseburger

The Internet, despite the relatively small requests made, have not seen fit to acquiesce, and as such, beginning at 1 AM EST today, I am picketing.

Al Gore is said to be aware of the situation, and is looking into it personally.

Thank you,

Atomictumor