November 14th, 2007 by Atomictumor
I’ve been spending some time this week thinking of the Ashley Paine situation, just like damn near everybody up here has.
For me (and others, as Netmom indicated), it hits at an odd time, happening at the same time we were all dealing with BJ and her illness last year. Today, the paper had a story about the girl who seems to have (hopefully) had a successful heart transplant after Ashley’s family was thoughtful enough to donate her organs.
Been there, done that.
While I can’t deny that it would be SO MUCH WORSE to lose a child to an accident like this than, its still something I can relate to. Its interesting, because I’m watching a tragedy happen to strangers that are nonetheless connected to me through neighborhood bonds, and its the first time I’ve seen this happen since living through one myself.
I want to be angry. I want to yell and holler about the things that would have prevented this. I want to blame the city, and the schools, and the police, for creating a situation where a child has to cross an intersection that is simply not made for pedestrian traffic.
But thats not fair, is it? Because I can put as much of the blame on myself, for starting a movement to try to solve problems like this, and then letting it drop. Eaves, Bos, and I have expressed to each other much of the same kind of thinking, that if we’d kept this thing going, and let it grow as much as it was looking like, instead of letting life get in the way, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
Maybe. Just like, maybe, if GAC wasn’t on the Keflex, or if we hadn’t played tennis in the rain that day in August, or a million other maybes, it wouldn’t have happened the way it did.
I guess my point is, it happened. And all the planning in the world wouldn’t have stopped it. Not better crosswalks. Not police. Not busses. She was on a bike, fell off, and died.
Maybe because we’ve seen tragedy too close, we’re taking it harder. I fear for those people, tho, that don’t have the insight that I’ve learned, who deal with remote tragedy like this by growing angry, and pointing fingers, and jumping up and down like rabid monkeys. The people who deal with pain by getting angry, like I did when I was 3, because they might never have experienced it.
Who knows. I’m ramblin, and I have stuff to do.
November 14th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
You’ve got a good heart A.T.
November 14th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
You’re pretty cool and responsible for a thirty somthing, well an almost thirtysomething.
November 14th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Apparently, the girl’s family can’t afford a funeral. Her church is taking up donations. You can contact Calvary Baptist here in Oak Ridge at:
865-483-7460
November 14th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
hubs teaches middle school youth group at our church and sunday night there were 2 prayer requests, one for the paine family and one for jordan hensley to get a heart. when i just told him that jordan got ashley’s heart he almost fell out of his seat.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I have been in this pain before. I do get angry , and I want answers but, sometimes there is no good answers. Its best to be thankfull for the time I did have with that person. Thank you God, for the time you gave me with them. Thanks for the great times and love I had.
November 14th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Unbelievable. How do you comprehend the relief of the one family in relation to the grief of the other? And for both of them, the sun will come up and tomorrow will still be Thursday. Life goes on, and the world turns just the same.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:02 am
Brutal….I prayed for her as well! Its just so sad to see an innocent child called to God but hey that was all in his plan. I hate that though….why did she have to suffer WHY WHY WHY??? Poor girl I just can’t stop thinking of her and her family!
November 15th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Good post, AT. Characteristically thoughtful.
November 15th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I have been pulled from the jaws of death so many times it is not funny. And I continue to ask: “Why Me?”
November 15th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
AT, you are very wise and mature.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Yea, for such a young guy you are remarkably thoughtful and wise. Also you have an uncanny knack for putting emotions/feelings into words. I am impressed every time I read your insights.
November 15th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
I think about Ashley too. As I rocked my one year old to sleep tonight I started thinking about her. No mother should outlive her children. I wish I cold hug Laurie and make it all okay again for her.
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:34 am
HEY MY NAME IS SARAH AND I WAS JUST WONDERING IF ANY ONE HAS ANY PICS OF ASHLEY I WAS ONE OF HER FRIENDS SINCE THE 3RD GRADE BUT ANMY WYAS IF U DO THEN PLZ SEND ME SOME OF THEM THANKS BYE ky_bubbles_2003@yahoo.com