Atomictumor

OK, so I’ve only had this cold thing for about a week or so, and it didn’t start getting all up in my business until Saturday, but I’m totally freakin over it.

This whole “having a body” thing is getting irritating.  Sure, there are upsides involved with it (alcohol) but at this point I’m thinking its more of a liability to me, what with the stuffed up head pain, and the coughing fits, and the constant flow of bold yellow nasty coming from deep within my sinus cavities, forcing me to heave-ho that crap through my nose on a constant basis, which causes a coughing fit, which makes my head hurt, which makes me realize that I have (once again) more of that nasty crap in my sinus.

It started getting better yesterday, and kinda took a little downslide again today.  I’m not near as bad feeling as I was this weekend, but my patience for it has totally worn out, and I’m ready to go all “Incredible Voyage” and shrink down and kick some cold infection stuff’s ass personally.

But that requires a shrink ray, and then the existential problems involved with shrinking myself down and entering into my own body, not to mention the medical/biological hurdles involved in actually locating and personifying a cold virus so that I can put my size 15 (which would then be something like a size .0000015) into some kind of gooey, virusey, ass.

I guess I could go the futurama way and put my consciousness into a tiny microscopic robot that would tool around inside me and kick an ass or two, but then I gotta get nanoengineering in there, and if I had all these skills to begin with, well, I’d probably have cured the damn cold anyway.

So, to summarize:

1. Over it
2. Alcohol
3. bold yellow nasty
4. downslide
5. shrink
6. existential problems
7. very, very small feet
8. anyway