November 28th, 2007 by Atomictumor
OK, so I’ve only had this cold thing for about a week or so, and it didn’t start getting all up in my business until Saturday, but I’m totally freakin over it.
This whole “having a body” thing is getting irritating. Sure, there are upsides involved with it (alcohol) but at this point I’m thinking its more of a liability to me, what with the stuffed up head pain, and the coughing fits, and the constant flow of bold yellow nasty coming from deep within my sinus cavities, forcing me to heave-ho that crap through my nose on a constant basis, which causes a coughing fit, which makes my head hurt, which makes me realize that I have (once again) more of that nasty crap in my sinus.
It started getting better yesterday, and kinda took a little downslide again today. I’m not near as bad feeling as I was this weekend, but my patience for it has totally worn out, and I’m ready to go all “Incredible Voyage” and shrink down and kick some cold infection stuff’s ass personally.
But that requires a shrink ray, and then the existential problems involved with shrinking myself down and entering into my own body, not to mention the medical/biological hurdles involved in actually locating and personifying a cold virus so that I can put my size 15 (which would then be something like a size .0000015) into some kind of gooey, virusey, ass.
I guess I could go the futurama way and put my consciousness into a tiny microscopic robot that would tool around inside me and kick an ass or two, but then I gotta get nanoengineering in there, and if I had all these skills to begin with, well, I’d probably have cured the damn cold anyway.
So, to summarize:
- Over it
- Alcohol
- bold yellow nasty
- downslide
- shrink
- existential problems
- very, very small feet
- anyway
November 28th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
When I have a really bad cold, I pound Mucinex and use a Neti pot, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasal_irrigation, (and yes it is as unpleasant as it sounds). That usually will kick any stubborn viruses out and remove a sinus infection rather effectively.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
Not cold any longer, sinus infection. Trip to doc, not joel, in order.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Why the hell don’t you get yourself to a doctor and get antibiotics to get rid of it so you can quit whining?!
November 28th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Well put, damama.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
yellow=infection
November 29th, 2007 at 12:47 am
God damn, man you crack me up. But, ahem, yea what they said.
November 29th, 2007 at 6:58 am
Vixen pretty well summed up what I had to say. You really have a way with words, AT. But, sucks that you feel bad. You better take your mama’s advice.
November 29th, 2007 at 8:22 am
Damama KNOWS!!!
Go get some nuclear Kool Aid from the doc!
November 29th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Go out and rent “Fantastic Voyage.” The production values are a little dated (it was filmed when most of you were still haploid), but with enough Robitussin you probably won’t notice.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060397/plotsummary
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060397/trailers-screenplay-E14113-310
November 29th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Is that crap contagious through computer screens, ’cause I’m feeling just like you are?! EW!
November 29th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Fantastic Voyage, thats it! Not sure where “incredible voyage” came from.
Been there, done that, Joel.
November 29th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Damama knows. It’s time to heed her advice.
November 29th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Ha Ha!!
Haploid!!
(l
:-)
November 29th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
In the words of Buzzy and Masta G: “Get up You maggott!”
November 30th, 2007 at 2:22 am
Long time lurker who HAS to say something - I’ve suffered from some of the same nasty stuff. Chronic allergies means lots of sinus infections for me (viral usually, discovered after they stick a giant toothpick up my nose to get a “sample” to look at under a microscope).
First of all, they’ve discovered that you CAN have an infection without it being a gross color. (Nice, huh?) If you are thinking of doing the nasal rinse, I highly recommend Sinurinse. http://www.unimedprod.com/ It is what I got from my allergist. (Nice woman, strong accent, but she types up a list of what you discussed - so better than the “English is my primary language but I talk really fast so you’ll forget what I said 15 minutes from now”) It DEFINITELY sounds like a sinus infection now, since its lasted so long.
If you get lots of these type of colds, etc., have you thought about going to see an allergist? I haven’t gotten bronchitis since I started treating my allergies - and I used to get it ALL the time in the winter.