The assignment: To change something’s texture; to make it out of something it shouldn’t be made out of.
The finished product:
A gingerbread house made out of cardboard, extra coarse sandpaper, caulk (for icing), wire caps for gumdrops, a hinge for a door, biscuit shims for shingles and vent filters for snow. If there had been more than two (event-filled) days to work on it, the craftsmanship would have been better.
Yum!
Earlier today, an altercation between a 4 year old caucasian male and a 2 year old treadmill was reported. Upon further investigation, it appears that the treadmill inferred something rude about the white male’s mother.  A scuffled ensued but was quickly broken up by male’s grandfather. Minor lacerations were incurred, but the party refused medical attention. No charges were pressed at the time of publication.
Tis’ the season when the Boxelder bugs come crawling inside the house. We like to call them dumbbugs at the Cemestos Gardens, because they have next to zero sense of self-preservation. They come in out of the cold and that’s about it. Luckily they’re harmless.
Don’t ever plant a Boxelder tree nearby your home, unless you want the bugs that come with it.
I had a dream last night.
I was over at a really nice, big house somewhere in Oak Ridge. I was either dropping or picking up my eldest. The woman of the house was one of those perfect types: well-coiffed, well-dressed, baking some sort of cake, sipping on a latte and generally being of a snooty nature.
After I’d been there a while, she said that she thought I was finally ready to be brought into the Oak Ridge fold. I was ecstatic! Yay! I’m finally good enough for Oak Ridgers!
AT and I came over the next day and there were a ton of other couples, all similar to the original perfect housewife. It was our debutante ball, apparently. We were paraded around, from rich couple to rich couple and introduced. I think at one point I made a toast to Oak Ridge with my coffee mug.
Someone asked me if I had a Cadillac, what color would I pick? The choices were cream, brown, pink and seafoam green. I went with the green. That was the wrong answer. Then AT said some things that ought not be said in front of people that snobby, and we were told to leave.
*Sigh*Â We’ll never fit in…
I woke up this morning to the ‘Tumor being down, and get home to the water being out.
Evidently, Oak Ridge’s finest (utility workers) have successfully dug a big hole.
At 11, on my lunch break, the dude said the outage would be for an hour, but apparently they’ve had problems, because checking now, its still out. I walked out to casually inquire as to when I may flush (currently in “let it mellow” mode, but with Pigpen around, may quickly escalate to “flush it down” urgency), and all the workers casually rabbited as I approached, fleeing behind the neighbors house, and peeking around the corner cautiously.
They are industrious, but timid.
And thats OK. We don’t need water, we’ve evolved beyond that. We have beer. And while beer can’t flush your toilet, well, we have cat litter.